The Vegas Argot

Bad Girl's Club Las Vegas-Let the Recaps Begin!

2012-01-30T19:44:00.000-08:00

I've decided to recap Bad Girl's Club, because it takes place in Vegas. I've never actually seen BGC before, so I'm a little confused when it opens with girls walking into the house that looks like it's already been "lived in" as items are thrown all over the place.

A girl starts in on throwing stuff all over the place, and other women are just sitting around watching her, while another girl walks down the hall with a small trash can full of trash. She walks into a room and starts "decorating" one of the beds with the trash. Then she tosses the empty trash can at another girl's head. A fight, naturally, ensues.

Girls come in to join the fight from the kitchen, and when it finally calms down one asks "Are we done? Because I have Chipotle and I'd kinda like to eat it." That's officially my favorite girl in the house now.

Credits. What the hell just happened, really? I feel like I missed the first episode or something.

We are introduced to Gabi from Mass, 23 years old and still living at home and is a giant daddy's girl. She has a bad girl's club 'tude down pat, as does Dani, her twin who is apparently going as well. Tag team? Their parents wish Vegas luck, and not their kids. They are happy they are gone.

Three days later in Vegas we meet Erica from Atlanta. She likes to throw fits and has red hair, and other than that, same 'tude as the twins. I'm just going to go with all these girl's all have the same personalities until they show me something different.

Erica is the first one to the house, which looks like a typical Real World style house, lots of silly Vegas kitsch things all over. Erica has some sort of nickname for herself that sounds like Venetia, I have no idea. They have a pool and hot tub, of course.

We meet Amy, who feels like she's a nice girl unless you fuck with her. Amy and "Venetia" Erica seem to get along just fine, but the ominomous music tells otherwise.

Gia arrives next, the only girl who is 1 year younger than the 23 everyone else is, and she walks into the house with a bathing suit on. Amy feels they shouldn't have escorts in the house, and the fake ass bitchery commences! Erica feels like she can't trust Gia because she's short, and short people are sneaky. This is the first I'm hearing of this stereotype.

The twins roll into town and Gabi points out the non-existent "Reno Casino" and thought it would be bigger. Dani tells her that Reno is a state. So I guess it's a pretty safe bet that none of these girl's graduated high school.

We meet Jenna, 24 from Long Island and loves to party, and she likes to make people have fun, and she's a sex addict. Demitra, 25 from Miami seems to be waiting outside a defunt casino waiting for a ride, and she jumps in with Jenna. It's their first time to Vegas, and Jenna wants to get married by a few dead celebrities, and they like each other. It's about now I wonder if there is any point, or if they just live with each other.

The twins arrive to the house, and everyone is a fake ass bitch to each other, but Amy is ready for a fight. Demitra and the twins get along, Dani and the girls try to find the word bidet, but Jenna totally went to college and knows that it's the water that shoots up your ass, duh.

General party/screw around the house happens, Gia falls out of her top some more, and they get ready to go party. Sitting around the table, Amy asks who is going home, and everyone says no one is going home. In the limo Amy tries to lay down some house rules, everyone is too drunk to listen at all. They end up at Crazy Horse III, a strange place to go for the first time in Vegas, but whatevs.

Gia pukes in the VIP, and some of it hits Amy. Naturally shit hits the fan, and for some reason Amy wants Gia to clean it off her as well as pay her for the jeans. Gia gets all bent out of shape, and they all get in the limo and start screaming at each other. Amy is acting like getting puked on isn't something that is going to happen when you go to a club. Once I got burned with a cigarette and got glass in my shoe in the same night, and I didn't react like this.

Amy has herself a little breakdown, refuses to switch rooms, and then wakes up Gabi to ask if everything is okay. She's woken Gabi up, and I'm with Gabi on this, you don't want to wake a girl up like that with a potential hangover. Amy keeps yelling that she wants to make up, but then throws Gabi off the bed that she's standing on. They slow-mo her to the thud to the floor. Jenna just wants a pool party in the morning. I'm with Jenna.

Gia is on the phone with her friend, and she finally loses it and goes after Amy, spitting as she goes. Demitra is defacing Amy's picture on the wall, for funsies I guess, and Amy comes up and sucker pushes her. Demitra gets up and goes after her with a vengeance, and a producer gets in-between them, but he can't stop Gia, or Gabi, pulling Amy's hair until all three of them go down to the floor. Jenna and Gia start fighting because Jenna is trying to calm her down. The twins call their dad to tell them he should be happy that they are his kids.

Gia and Jenna are still fighting after the break, and all I want is for Gia to put on real clothes. Apparently they are removing Gia, but Amy is still grinning with Larry, her small skunk, on her bed. She gloats about Gia getting kicked out.

This season on Bad Girl's Club; more fighting and hair pulling. Huzzah.

I Need A Good Stiff Drink

2012-01-24T10:12:00.000-08:00

In 2005, I was at Studio 54 and had the best dirty martini I'd ever had. It was perfect, and it was the best thing I had all night. I was a year into living in Las Vegas, and I thought it could only go up from there.

I haven't had a good drink since.

I'm not sure if it's the high volume of people going to bartender school, but 90% of the time when I walk into any bar at all and ask for a Toasted Almond, they have no clue what I'm talking about. This is a drink that is every app I've downloaded for drinks, but no one seems to know what it is. By the way, it's part Kahlua, Amaretto, and Cream.

I was at Nu on a Thursday night the other week, and there was only one bartender in a very crowed place. I took this into account for the delay in my drink order. In fact, I waited longer for the waitress to bring my drink then I wait for most meals to arrive. I ordered a drink that was a special to the place, hoping that they would try harder because they had created it. It was delivered, and it was watered down blue kool-aid with not a hint of taste as to the alcohol that I had paid $13.00 for.

In the end I think this is what stopped me from clubbing often. I kept paying so much for drinks that continue to disappoint, I just gave up. I think back to my friend who would bring a flask into clubs and buy diet coke and mix it with her booze in the bathroom and it suddenly occurs to me that wasn't such an insane plan.

I challenge someone to please find me a place where the drinks are well made without costing a fortune in this town. Please. I'm so thirsty.

The end of bad neighbors...for now.

2012-01-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

The end of the new year also came with an end to an era; our crazy neighbors moved out in the middle of the night, leaving nearly all their stuff behind.

I'd like to say that I'm going to miss all their shenanigans. But, I'm not. I won't miss looking out my window and seeing that I can't get out of my street because there are 5 cop cars and 2 undercover cop cars blocking my way.

I'm not going to miss when Metro chased our neighbor into his house, and then they had almost a whole hour standoff where they barricaded themselves into the house.

I'm also not going to miss when they moved out, leaving their stuff so that the owners had to rent a dumpster and left it for 3 days, full of their stuff...

Now, all that's left is...

B-I-N-G-O-!

2012-01-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

Last night I found some unexpected free time on my hands, and I got talked into Bingo at South Point.

I was told I had to bring a small token to bring me luck. Being as luckless as myself, I didn't really have anything to bring, so I ended up with a pocket mirror from my purse on the table. He brought a couple that are in the picture, along with his winnings. I'm not lucky enough apparently.

My friend decided it would be better to play electronically, so we picked up an electronic PlaySchool looking thing and our 52 some odd cards were in play. It was exactly as I remembered it in grade school, only this time the machine would beep if I was close at all. It beeped exactly once the entire night, and that was right as someone was calling Bingo.

Since the Kindle Fire I ordered still hadn't shipped, I decided to people watch. Most people were chain-smoking through the whole game, but there was one little old lady sitting across from me that made my night with her shenniagians.

She came in and set up her machine, then proceed to pull a three course dinner out of her purse. First came the salad which she ate through the first few games, then kept on moving through to the end of the meal, which appeared to be a brownie. Then for the last 4 or so games, she took a nap. Other people there were not that interesting, and all seemed to be big chain smokers.

I guess Bingo isn't my thing.

No Salvation from the Salvation Army

2011-12-26T20:29:00.000-08:00

There are always those silly stories around this time of year, and I read on the internet somewhere (I think it was cracked.com, those people are fantastic) that the song Silver Bells was written by a Jewish person. Then I read or heard elsewhere that the bells referenced in Silver Bells are the bell ringers of the Salvation Army.

Everyone sees them in front of the major stores, ringing the bells for the spare change you give out of guilt after purchasing the $300 worth of stuff that no one needs but wants. It feels good, knowing that people in need are going to get help because of the money you dropped in that little red bucket. I even saw on tumblr.com that someone would give all his leftover budget from buying gifts to them. I've dropped a few bills in myself over the years, mostly to see if it would make them stop ringing their annoying bell for just a minute so my migraine could feel better.

Then I saw (on tumblr again) that The Salvation Army was against pretty much anything that wasn't Christian. I knew they were a Christian organization, but I didn't realize that they would kick people out on the streets if they seemed gay, or only help Jewish people in need if they agreed to go to church.

I wish I was making this up. I really do. Please, I don't want you to think this is doctored, so I'm not going to provide a link but instead ask you to go to their website, and click on "About Us" in the top bar. Then go to the link on that page stating "Position Statements."

It runs the gamut from Abortion and Alcoholism to Homosexuality and Suicide. And these aren't just atrocious statements they place on their blog, they practice them daily. I posted an article to my Facebook fan page that is brilliant, and please take the time to read it.

On their page they say "Doing the Most Good," but they are limiting who they decide to help. People in need are people in need, and I wouldn't stop helping someone because they were gay. I'm not Christian, but I always thought that Christ was about helping everyone no matter what they were. Maybe someone should remind them of that.

Black Thursday Already?

2011-11-25T11:12:00.001-08:00

On Thanksgiving Eve, a report came that people were camping out in front of a currently open Best Buy store here in Vegas.

Seriously? Seriously?

Advertising for Black Friday on Thursday at midnight was rampant. In fact, Wal-Mart said you no longer had to wait in the cold, you could come in and have your shopping cart full and just check out at midnight. Even Black Friday has eclipsed itself...

1 month, 1 holiday didn't take off the way it should, because people were shopping online before they had finished their dinner rolls. The ones in line didn't even get a Thanksgiving. My question is, who are you shopping for if you don't even want to spend Thanksgiving with anyone?

Then it hits me; Are these people shopping for themselves? Is shopping for deals for yourself what these people are actually doing? If so, I'm worried for America. I'm more worried for America when I read that the crazy people camping out in line are pepper-spraying each other.

Christmas was originally just to celebrate Christ. It's basically a little bookend to Easter, which is also supposed to be about Jesus. Not Candy. Not Presents. But then Corporate America made it about buying presents for people, in the spirit of giving.

Now you people are out pepper spraying each other over a gift FOR YOURSELF.

Bodies Exhibit; What's Wrong With Sculpture?

2011-11-10T09:53:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago my sister came into town, and she wanted to see Carrot Top. I told her I'd go see him if she went to the Bodies Exhibit with me.

As it turns out, Carrot Top was out of town while she was here, so it was just the Bodies Exhibit. She had been before and didn't really want to go because it "freaked her out," but she bit the bullet for me.

I have to say, I was a little apprehensive myself. On one hand, seeing the bodies would be a once in a lifetime crazy opportunity that I really shouldn't pass up. On the other hand...you have to wonder how these people died, how their bodies were obtained for this exhibit, and above all how did they get them to stay in these crazy positions?

As to why they don't use life-like models, this comes from their website;

As Dr. Roy Glover, chief medical director for BODIES … The Exhibition states, “Seeing promotes understanding, and understanding promotes the most practical kind of body education possible. The body doesn’t lie!” Unlike models that idealize the body through the eyes of an artist, the specimens in this Exhibition will show the body and its parts as they really exist.

A fair point I suppose, artists will always do something different for their art. However, I had to think of it as art to be able to get through the exhibit without gagging. Much like you just don't think about what hot dogs and sushi actual are while eating them, it was the same for this exhibit. I had to go through thinking they were models to be able to not freak out.

As it turns out the bodies are died from natural causes from China, and were donated to science. I couldn't stop thinking about how this body in front of me had a mother and father and family at one time, and now they are on display, naked, pieces stripped away to educate the public.

Even though I'm glad to be educated, I feel like this is something that only med students should be seeing, it shouldn't be something that is touring the country like a carnival.

Join Me with #1month1holiday

2011-11-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

I had a really good Halloween this year. The Neon Beast and I were both off, and we caught up on the DVR while handing out candy to kids. They were so cute this year, not like last year where they were very old teenagers dressed in black complaining about the candy selection.

Because my work schedule has been crazy, I ended up going to bed early and consequently waking up early. I decided instead of waking up Beast with anything, I left to go shopping. I stopped by Cost Plus World Market, but they weren't open yet. I did notice that their window vinyl was up with Thanksgiving stuff. I thought "Wow, they really got on their game."

So I went to Kohl's instead, and went in to find some clothes, since finding clothes really sucks, and Kohl's seems to be the only place left on earth with decent prices, as well as my size and style. I was walking around, laughing the fact that they think that ponchos are new fashions, when I heard it. They were playing...Christmas Music. On November 1st.

Look, I'm not totally against The Holiday. It just has a time and a place, and that is December. Not more than a decade or so ago, people would actually buy their tree on Christmas Eve, and throw it away a few days later. I remember thinking about what I would be for Halloween as a kid a couple of weeks before Halloween actually happened. Thanksgiving seems to have disappeared completely. I understand it's not a very marketable holiday, but seriously, why do we forget about it?

So I think that as a compromise we should institute 1 Month, 1 Holiday. October 1st, start going nuts with Halloween. Start brainstorming for costume ideas, think about what candy you are going to buy, get excited. November 1st, it's Thanksgiving time. Start feeling good about what you have, decorate, and decide how you are going to make that Turkey. I'll even let Christmas have more than a month; Black Friday is the start of the Christmas season.

I understand that consumerism rules all, but I can't take more than 2 months of Christmas music. It won't help me shop more, it will just drive me out of the stores and to shop online.

And for god sakes, a poncho is not a new fashion item. What's next, corsets?

The Importance of Polka Dots

2011-08-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

My watch is almost part of my personality. It's a black strap of leather, but has animated polka dots on the face. The black strap represents the part of me that is dark and twisty, but the moving polka dots represent how much I do love silly things. I've been complimented on it many times, everyone loves it. Sometimes I forget that I care what time it is and just look at the dots moving, it makes me happy.

Last week my beautiful personality speaking watch died on me. Today I took it to the Fossil outlet store off of Charleston where I bought it. They told me they could replace the battery for me, and it would be $10.00. Any other old watch, and I would've walked out thinking that was a horrendous price. This time, I said anything for my baby.

While I waited for the resuscitation of my timepiece, I looked into different watchbands, since mine had become worn and frayed and was missing a leather strap. The employees were very helpful pulling things out for me, telling me what would and wouldn't work with my watch-face. I didn't find one, but they did manage to save my watch. I pulled out my wallet to pay the $10.00, but they said no problem, that they would hit me up for it next time.

Good customer service AND free battery? And here I thought that chivalry was dead. Huh.

Thanks Fossil! For making awesome watches AND standing by them.

Harry Potter and the Movie Theater Crankies

2011-07-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, like the true Potterhead I am, went to Rave Theaters to see the last installment. The Neon Beast and I got there a bit later than we should have, so we found a seat and then I decided to chance it and grab some popcorn before heading into the theater.

This homely women was standing impatiently in front of me, dying for the women with 3 kids to hurry up in front of us. The mom in front was getting three drinks and a popcorn, and was dealing with 2 of the kids messing with each other. Needless to say, she had her hands full. She kept adding different things to her order, asking for a holder for the drinks. Homely Lady was watching the transaction like a hawk, and I knew this meant she was about to jump ahead and start ordering up the whole snack bar.

As much as I talk about how important customer service is, It's also just as important to be a good customer. Everyone, at the end of the day, is still human. We should be treating each other nicely above all. Homely Lady doesn't agree, because she starts berating the poor snack attendant to hurry up with her tub of popcorn and hot dog. She almost doesn't get the hot dog because it's "taking so long" to get. The snack attendant asked when her movie started, she said basically in 2 minutes, and she really doesn't want to miss the previews because her hot dog took too long. It took all I had not to remark "No, you getting here late and needing a damn hot dog is what's going to make you miss the previews."

I'm especially nice to him, hopefully slightly making up for the fact that she was such a bitch, and stroll into the theater just as the first previews are starting. About 45 seconds into the first preview Homely Lady hustles in to the theater by herself and sits in the last row in the front. She snacks away quietly for the whole movie, and I promptly forget about her as I go through the range of emotions on the screen.

The Neon Beast has to go to the bathroom afterward, so we are a bit delayed in leaving the theater. We go through the side doors and find Homely Lady holding open a door to the outside, and she yells to us to try to get the bird to fly out. I look on the floor and see the bird in question, who is having a hard time in-between the two sets of doors. We walk slowly towards it and it eventually flies out. Homely Lady says thank you and expresses how concerned she was about the bird. As I saw the look of worry on her face, I couldn't help but hate her. She felt more for the helpless bird than the human she'd inflicted pain on without question earlier. He was just a worker trying to help her out, and I had to wonder if he were stuck in-between doors if she'd even notice.

Express Jeans--No More.

2011-06-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

Jeans from Express fit me perfectly. I discovered this when I was in high school, and never looked back. I would wait for the coupons in the mail and buy them, and they were always of really good quality.

In the last few years I've had a thyroid issue, and my size has gone up. Gone up to the point where they only really have my size on the website, and I'm the sad fat girl if I walk into their store. Especially in the Town Square location, the employees look at me as if to say maybe I should try Lane Bryant.

And by the way, I'm too small for Lane Bryant, so maybe you should STFU Express employees.

The employees in the Fashion Show location, for the most part, are very nice and helpful. But, they still don't have my size jeans. At least they feel bad about it. They told me to check the website.

So that's where I've bought my last 2 pairs of jeans. I bought the second pair because the 1st pair had finally worn out. I went online and bought the last pair in my size. When I put them on for only the second time, the button popped off onto the floor. They were the only pair of jeans I fit into at the time. Granted, I'm starting to lose weight and should fit into some of my old ones soon, the fact is I don't now.

So I e-mailed them, let them know the quality of their product had gone down, because it was falling apart the second time I wore it. I used to be able to wear Express jeans for 5+ years, now they barely make it through 6 months. I asked what they were going to do about sending me a defective product.

What I got back was a form email about their return policy, which includes ME paying for shipping back their bad product, and then...when they got around to seeing if they had a replacement, and they didn't; I would get a gift card. AKA, I would never get my money back.

Did I mention they hardly ever sell my size?

I was completely underwhelmed by the experience. Why should I have to pay for return shipping on a pair of pants that were obviously defective, only to never see my money again. They basically want to take me for my money.

Luckily, The Neon Beast is a costume designer. He sewed the button back on and it's been working nicely ever since. And it will be the last pair of Express jeans I purchase. The quality has plummeted, and the customer service is non-existent.

Real World Sh*t Recap #RealWorld

2011-06-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

Everyone loves this episode, because it's all that silly crap that they can't fit into a storyline at all. And yes, it happened last week, and yes, I'm late. It's fine.

Dustin is afraid of this episode more than the whole season, and we launch right into Naomi being the one who goes around naked all the time. This makes Dustin being upset at the whole "blue girl group" incident even more funny, because it apparently happened all the time, just without the blue.

It's "black penis" time with Leroy in the shower. Heather says it's called "Little Lee" and so apparently it's not that impressive.

Adam says that he likes to think that girl's don't poop, but Naomi proved him very wrong. She destroys the bathroom with her poop, and she gets lonely on the toilet, so Nany pulls up a chair and talks to her. Then there is gross talk with Dustin and Mike, where Dustin says that Heather doesn't poop, and if she did he'd be intrigued by the smell. Mike assures him it won't smell like roses, unless she's eating flowers.

After the break, we discuss Leroy's signature dance move, where he launches the girls up so he's riding their crotch. Then Nany discusses how she was the female predator in the house. She hooked up with Naomi, Heather, Adam...and apparently Mike after the show! Nany says Mike is a very good kisser. He's still single ladies!

Adam spews more bullshit about how he never thought that he and Nany would ever hook up. Despite saying so from day 1? Get your story straight, buddy. He puked right before he kissed Nany for the first time. Naomi says what we are all thinking "How did you not know he puked right before."

Kyle is Cooke's alter ego, that she apparently uses to hit on Nany. I guess eventually it works, because on the last night they hooked up. Everyone is obsessed with everyone else having sex, and it's pretty hilarious. They are a bunch of peeping toms, and then they go into the Vaseline debacle, where Leroy actually made it look like Cooke and her male pal used it. It's not really that funny. Mostly because everyone knows that you don't use Vaseline for that stuff. Also, Mike had a wet dream after the Nany/Heather hook up.

Because of Mike's adorable demenor, he got away with murder. All the girls fake a sex in the bathroom for him, and they make him a "topless" breakfast, which is hilarious because of course we have to cut to Dustin saying "Where was I for this topless breakfast?" Apparently Cooke threw herself on Mike several times and he never took the bait. Take that Dustin! Self Control is a thing!

GMLF- Get Mike Laid Foundation. Mike set out a list of requirements such as not having to make her breakfast the next morning. Adam apparently made it up and is very proud of it.

"Beat it" was the catchphrase of the house. You go to shake someone's hand, pull it away and say "Beat it, ____" you could fill it in with anything you want, like nerd or bitch or whatever. They also have a secret handshake that involves slapping Heather's ass.

Just an FYI, this feels like the most stupid blog post I've ever written. No fluidity whatsoever. If you are still reading, you are amazing.

Dustin moans during sex, while he's eating, nearly 24/7. Heather would say "oh baby" in a weird voice. Leroy thinks it sounds sexy...Nany agrees.

There was an embaressing moment during the filming of the opening sequence where Leroy had to push Cooke into the pool, and both her bra fillers popped out and were floating in the pool.

Mike is smarter than everyone else, and everyone hates it. He has to equate it to sex terms to get everyone to understand cataclysmic event. Naomi tried to use all the words, and did it badly. Naomi left him during a convo about hydrogenated oils. He ends it with "I sound like a nerd."

Leroy did all sorts of things to get girls to leave the house. Like fake an asma attack. Leroy also took clothes out of the dryer to put in his own. So Dustin froze his t-shirt.

Nany and Naomi fake a fight to get out of grocery shopping. Leroy fakes that Mike is trying to kill him. Cooke sleeps with a stuffed bunny. Dustin hides the bunny, along with someone named "Mars." Cooke goes apeshit. Nany kicked Cooke's soccer ball out the window...she got that back, but the bunny is still "at large" as Leroy says. Looks like they did show all the good bits.

Mike dressed up as Leroy for Halloween, Nany dressed up in a bull outfit for a dance off during the rodeo. The sheep wins, but Dustin has to show the sheep. They all went snowboarding, Leroy was really bad at it. Dustin thought he was hot shit until he smacked right into the camera guy. "I went in as a beginner and left as a pro." Dustin says.

Leroy has stank feet, and Mike is dared to kiss him. Blech. Mike has a weak stomach. Nany throws out some raw chicken, and the smell of it makes Mike throw up. It looks more like dry heaving to me, and all I'm saying is this makes him 100% hetero. He'd never make it as a gay man.

Nany loves Cheetos. So much. She's like me with Chipotle. When Nany was drunk she'd leave orange streaks everywhere.

Naomi was broke 2 days after payday, and would beg everyone for money until the next payday. Mike says she owes him around $600. Nany says $300, Leroy says 2 grand.

One day Nany and Naomi find a wad of cash in Leroy's wallet, and steals the money. Mike chases the girls to give back the money into the bathroom, then the door breaks. They mess with them for awhile, taking out the door-nob for the other side. They were in there for 20 minutes before they let them out.

Montage of them loving each other, and it's obvious that this was filmed before the reunion show. Most likely before the season even aired. They seemed to have changed so much since the airing of the show, and since Twitter has made things complicated in a lot of ways.

I'm thinking once a week I'll do a retrospective on each of the cast, a comparison of when I met them in January until now.

SYTYCDehydrate

2011-06-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge fan of "So You Think You Can Dance." It's the kind of reality show that you really enjoy while it's going on, but the second it's over you forget all about it. I can't even tell you the names of anyone except for a couple of judges and the host. Just because it's not memorable doesn't mean it's not enjoyable, and when it's on I really do become enthralled with it.

Last week was Vegas week on "So You Think You Can Dance." At first I was convinced that they did Vegas Week just because it seemed flashy and dramatic. This season, however, I feel like maybe they do Vegas Week for a whole other reason; to test the dancers.

Anyone who lives here has already gotten used to the zero percent humidity that plagues the city. We keep bottles of water everywhere, and most people's houses look like we live in that movie Signs. When the summer hits, we laugh at the tourists for not paying attention and passing out all over the place. And they just chalk it up to being drunk and silly, but we know it's just the environment of living in a desert.

I felt so bad for the dancers on the show, because they came into a competition wanting to do their best, and they have a strenuous job to do all week. They are used to moisture in the air, and take it for granted. They don't expect it not to be there, and they don't drink the extra water they need, and they get sick. I think it's cruel to have a Vegas Week for dancers without giving them a low-down of the atmosphere and advising them on how to deal with it. And maybe they do, but...a lot don't listen.

Real World Reunion Recap #Real World

2011-06-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

Oh, reunion shows. So silly. So awesome. Previously: The whole season.

They get right into it and tackle Adam's insane craziness. Nany got very heated, and Dustin, of all people, was saying he was being a two-faced asshole. Adam keeps dishing out the asshatery that he spewed all throughout the show. Nany says no more bad boys for her, and I honestly think she believes it. It's kinda awesome to watch this reunion show for me, because I interviewed everyone a month after filming wrapped, and the reunion show is after they've been exposed to the world, and how it's changed them. So far Adam is still delusional, and Nany seems to be harder, but I think it's for the better in the long run for her. She went through a lot during filming, maybe more than anyone else.

Leroy gets a recap after the break, and we get to see him back to being a trashman, and learning from the experience.

Then it's back to Adam, and the whole crazy two-faced thing. He sits there and gets upset that everyone is calling him a fame whore (he even tweeted about it), while he sits there with his t-shirt that he's been hocking for over a month on his website. Please.

They move onto how bad Cooke came into the show. She basically said that she didn't realize that the Real World was...real. Heather says she's egocentric, Naomi curses at her, and there is some bad editing, and they bring up the Dustin/Cooke kiss, Leroy catches some heat. Heather is upset at Cooke and said she was pouring her heart out to her days earlier, and then she kissed Dustin. Cooke is trying her very best to backpedal through the whole season to make herself look better, which is more than I can say for Adam.

We get a look at Heather's adjustment back to her old life, and she says she's gotten back to normal, and everyone already knows her and doesn't judge her by the time she spent on the show. I think Heather looked the best out of anyone, I can't imagine anyone from before saying to her "wow, you sure are different!"

Naomi is in print journalism, back at college. Nany lives an hour away and they still hang out as much as possible.

Dustin Gay-For-Pay time! Everyone reacts, Naomi says that he acts like a Southern Gentleman, but no gentleman would do what he did. Dustin planned on coming out with it, but it took him too long. Dustin asks if anyone thinks he's homophobic, and Mike takes the bait. He makes the awesome retort that he insults the gay community, but for years the gay community was paying Dustin's bills. They go back and forth awesomely. Heather says it bothered her more that it wasn't brought up until after they had sex. The host brings up that he lied about it even after he was caught, and Heather brings up that the trust issue isn't there. Then...THEN, he says he didn't have sex in those videos. He STILL can't tell the truth. Mike says that Dustin is a pathological liar, and I'm pretty much agreeing with him right now.

Adam recap: He has a clothing line he hocks. That's pretty much is it for him. Yep, have no idea where everyone gets this media whore stuff.

Cooke Recap: She works in a nuclear power plant and dating. She is in North Carolina being a hick, but has a girlfriend that she does girly things with.

Back to Dustin/Mike. None of the roommates get why Mike hates Dustin, except for Cooke. Cooke nails it, its because Dustin is stupid, and stupid people make Mike crazy. Mike doesn't hold back, and I have to say, it's awesome. I don't think that they are going to hug this thing out. I think it's over.

Nany Recap: She's a waitrress, saving up some money so she can leave home. I hope she moves to Vegas with Naomi soon!

Mike Recap: He's a mad scientist and still at University of Maryland, and he's a Sorority Sweetheart! Ahhh.

Leroy loves the ladies, and Naomi fell a little bit for him...I guess. Then they turn it around a bit and say it's Leroy that has feelings for Naomi. I guess Naomi and Leroy are living together now, so I guess they are a bit of an item! Ahhh, that's so cute. For real. They use the term "wife up" and I feel about 100 years old and not up to those crazy teenager's slang. Then the convo turns, and I guess they are living together, but aren't together. They give me a headache.

Dustin Recap: Disc Golf and Motorcycles, and riding the wave!

Leroy and Mike, the bromance! They even have matching friendship bracelets, it's freaking hilarious. They have a system for Leroy hooking up with girls even, they are so freaking cute.

Then they show some of the unseen footage, strung together by some Cooke Poetry. It ends with Leroy on the toilet, and it's so TMI. Next week will be more of that, so check for that recap.

Naomi said they have no shame, so they aren't worried about next week. Host Maria says that the drama continues on twitter, with the girls attacking Cooke, and Cooke being attacked by Heather. Heather isn't pursuing a friendship with Cooke, so she took it to twitter. I saw that twitter fight, and it wasn't that big a deal. It was nothing that they didn't talk about over this reunion.

Next week is going to be the Shit they didn't show!

Surprise Ending to the Titanic Exhibit

2011-06-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

The Neon Beast and I got comps to see the Titanic exhibit yesterday. I had actually paid for it while it was at the Tropicana, so I was interested to compare and contrast the differences. Titanic has always been a passion of mine, before the movie even came out. In fact, I really became of fan of James Cameron because of his amazing attention to detail in that film.

The Titanic exhibit goes a little bit further than your average museum. They really take the time to take you through the experience as if you are actually aboard the Titanic. They set up the whole experience so you hear the horn as you walk up to what looks like the side of the ship, feel the cool air as you stroll along the deck, and hear the music as you admire the recreation of the grand staircase.

Whenever I look at the artifacts in this exhibit, I always think about how well they made things back then. My favorite artifact is a porcelain jar of toothpaste that they say Titanic might have given out. It's in perfect condition, even though it's been 2 miles under the sea for almost 100 years. It's pristine. If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was from the gift shop. They made things so well back then, the dishes they pulled out of the ocean look better than the ones that were left in my sink for a week.

The one big change of the exhibit from Tropicana to Luxor has to be "The Big Piece." A portion of the ship has been pulled up, and it's amazingly larger than life. They show you pictures of where it came from on the ship, and it's amazing to see how small a piece it is compared with the rest of the ship.

It is, as all things are on the strip, completely overpriced. But if you have a passion for Titanic, and you want to see actual artifacts from the ship, you should go. When will you ever get the chance again?

Real World Recap: The Finale! So Soon? #RealWorld

2011-06-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

Previously; Mike is a yes man, the cast gets an chance to make a charity, Mike tells Dustin he won't be allowed in schools for his gay-for-pay past, a fight ensues, and Dustin wonders who is going to do Mike's hair. Is he sure he isn't gay?

Naomi is asking Mike to marry her, and she wants to have a big wedding. Mike says Naomi is only doing it to cross something off her bucket list. Naomi asks if Mike has crossed off anything on his bucket list since he's been in Vegas. After a long pause, he says no. HA!

Naomi says out of all the guys, Mike is the one who is going to run a company someday, so she wants to marry him. Naomi states her case, and Mike says he'll think about it.

In a car, Mike Leroy and Nany talk about how crazy it is that they became friends. Mike decides he'll have a fake wedding with Naomi. Turns out they are going to a radio station to say they are raising money with Down & Derby at HRH. BTW, this is the ONLY Down & Derby that I couldn't attend, and I'm still kicking myself, I love love love Down & Derby. If you have one in your town, go, it is so awesome.

After a cram session, they get in the empty jacuzzi and paint themselves blue with the leftover paint from decorating guitars and what appears to be the tops of drums. My percussion teacher from high school will hate me because I can't remember the names of the tops of the drums. Dustin comes in, and of course freaks out because it's 11pm, and they need to be up at 5, and Naomi and Cooke are totally blue. He totally overreacts about this, and in fact, it STILL bothered him because he brought it up in my interview with him about a month after filming completed. I'm sure he was somewhere last night watching and STILL getting mad about it. Heather is a bit worried about their success rate tomorrow morning.

The next morning they go to channel 5's morning show all jazzed up in 70's roller derby attire. Dustin says that it went really well, we see shots of the show. After some banter about the wedding, they get ready and go to the Down and Derby. It looks painfully empty at first, but it fills up, and Heather interviews that it turns out well, and Dustin interviews that he wanted to keep the guitar. Even Naomi says to get over it.

The next morning everyone is saying they only have 72 hours left in the suite. Leroy gets/receives a call from a friend saying their mutual friend was killed by the police. Nany sees him crying and Heather soon follows, and he tells them his friend was just killed, and it's totally heartbreaking. Leroy is far too young to lose a friend, and I really feel for him.

Mike asks Leroy to go for a walk, which I think turns out to be good for him, because he calms down and gets into the angry portion of grief. He gets worked up again quickly, upset that he never got to say goodbye. The cast has changed the screensaver on the computer to "We Love You Leroy." And he leaves to go back home, interviewing that he's grateful for his roommates.

At a meal, Mike makes Naomi stand up, and presents her with a ring pop and a proposal. It's the cutest freaking thing ever. Mike breaks his promise to NOT go to a strip club, and goes for his bachelor party, where Mike has a seemingly horrible time. He's in the bathroom feeling "slightly awkward and very drunk." Dustin talks him out of the bathroom, and they do a cute little retrospective of the Dustin/Mike Love/Hate relationship. I think they are giving it up because its only a few days left. Mike looks awful at the strip club though, SUPER uncomfortable.

Naomi is busy writing her vows as Nany does her hair. Naomi tells Nany not to make her look like Medusa for her own wedding. More retrospective on the Nany/Naomi relationship, and I don't think they even scratched the surface on the air of how awesome their relationship is. Mike makes Naomi sign a pre-nup on binder paper, and they are on their way.

Leroy makes it, and they go...maybe rent a dress and tux? I'm not sure where they are, but I hope they aren't buying dresses and tuxes for a fake wedding. The way they talked about their finances in the interview I had with them, I'm guessing they are rentals. That's a solid business for Las Vegas.

The wedding! Naomi and Mike exchange hilarious vows. The pastor guy is so not amused, but it's hilarious for all of us because we've gotten to know these people. Naomi knocks on Leroy's door, because it's her wedding night and she has to have sex with someone, and Leroy says he's gonna help out Mike and tear Naomi up. LoL.

Holy freaking crap Mike is getting a tattoo!!! Leroy holds his hand, and I still can't believe that Mike is getting a tatoo. We get a retrospective on the Leroy and Mike relationship, and it's beautiful.

Dustin, because he can't let anything go, went and got the guitar from Down & Derby, getting them to donate 2 guitars for the guy so he can put it in a glass case at HRH. And when he puts it in I realize how many times I've walked past it without even really seeing it. Because it's just another guitar. In a case with a bazillion other guitars. But hey, if it means that much to you. I wonder how many people are getting their pictures taken next to it today.

Cooke interviews how they worked out their differences, and Nany retrospectives on her own journey, with her old boyfriend and Adam, and she burns his pictures. Naomi, Nany, and Heather sit on the bed and bemoan their ultimate ending of the journey.

The cast mates decide to pull out their beds and sleep on the bowling alley, and Heather and Dustin have their "I'm gonna miss you" time. I think we covered that pretty well throughout the season, so we don't get much of a retrospective. Maybe later.

Naomi interviews how awesome Mike is, and Dustin of course, focuses on himself. He said it made him become more of a man. We retrospective on Dustin's journey, and he's glad he's no longer hiding behind a secret.

They all leave together, Dustin has to say goodbye to his guitar, and everyone gets to have their sweet parting words.

I think I'm going to do my own retrospective of the cast in the coming weeks, from the person who I met to the person who was portrayed on the screen. Stay Tuned :-)

Chipotle > Heaven.

2011-05-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

If you know me personally, you know I love Chipotle. If I ever say I don't feel like Chipotle, my friends know something is terribly wrong.

It's not just that the food is good. The food is fantastic. There is just no replicating how awesome they are at finding all the most awesome, fresh ingredients. Then even have signs telling you if they got their ingredients from somewhere different that day. They are totally honest and upfront, and they don't need to be. As a company, they are some great people, with awesome integrity.

I can't speak for other cities, but the employees that work at the Las Vegas locations are some of the nicest people I've ever been helped by. They have to deal with a lot of entitled, indecisive people, but they are still nice. I've been behind people who insist on something so particular that you wonder why they are even trusting someone else with their food. I'd go crazy if I had to work there with those people. But they do it all with a smile on their face.

When I worked on the strip, once a week I would walk over to the Chipotle nestled in-between Harrah's and the Venetian for lunch. After a few weeks they knew who I was, and they were always friendly and glad to see me. One day when I had forgotten to take my wallet with me, they told me not to worry about it. To know that I was going to be greeted by awesome people and awesome food; that's what every experience should be.

I love ya Chipotle, and I think I will forever.

Real World Recap: Adam Visits #RealWorld

2011-05-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

Previously; Mike's parents went to jail when he was a kid; Nany is looking for her dad and awaiting Adam's trip to Vegas.

Nany skypes with Adam about his visit. Leroy says it's awkward because he expected never to see him again. The P.I. calls Nany and says he'll meet her with results on Friday. She's excited about it, and drunkenly explains this to Leroy at a bar later. Leroy is worried that she has too high expectations but hopes for the best. Nany interviews she gets too wrapped up in guys, and she wishes/hopes she could be alone.
Everyone except for Leroy goes over to Rumor to visit Adam. Nany still feels the connection, and the rest of the castmates leave and Nany and Adam take it to the bedroom. Later Nany leaves Rumor and goes back to HRH. Later the P.I. comes by and says that in 2002 Nany's dad died of a heart condition. However, he did have two kids that want to get to know Nany, which is kind of awesome. Her heart is obviously broken though.

But there's no time for that now, this is Vegas! So the whole cast goes to Rain at the Palms, and BIG SURPRISE; Adam gets blacked out drunk, falls all over everyone. He tries to bribe the driver to pull over at a chapel, and then tries to sneak into HRH. They shut him down before he even gets into valet. Nany walks him back to his room, where he tries to get her to stay to almost a scary degree. She manages to get away, and realizes how Adam really is.

Leroy impersonates Naomi sneaking into his bed, and she's not amused, and says she's not going to have sex with him the rest of the time they are here. Adam calls Nany and fakes like he doesn't remember anything. She tries her best to avoid them.

Mike gets on the phone with his mom who has had breast cancer and is coming to see him this weekend. He's a little nervous, he tells Leroy and Nany about how his mom got high and wrote bad checks, and made him pee in medicine bottles. Crazypants.

Mike wants to go to Hoover Dam, Leroy wants to go to OG. LoL. I guess the time is winding down because they are wandering outside of a club. Mike sits it out to greet his mom, but knows more about the Hoover Dam than anyone who actually went.
Mike's mom is scary looking, and orders my favorite drink to calm her stomach at Mr. Lucky's. I can see how hard it would be for Mike to see her like this, to love her and have her disappear. Nany projects her own hurt onto Mike and wants him to have a relationship with his mom.

The phone rings, and it's Adam. Leroy drops the phone and calls for Nany, she feints sleep. Kenny from their time at the motocross comes over and lets them go out and race. They fake out that Naomi is in the race, and of course Dustin is butt hurt that he isn't winning the race. Heather knows right away it isn't Naomi, and it's hilarious.

Nany calls her half sister, and finds out that her dad did try to find her, which I'm sure means the world to Nany. Her sister seems nice, and I hope it's a positive first step for her.

Mike walks the strip with his mom, saying he's going to try with his mom because Nany never got a chance. Mike's mom loves the Bellagio fountains, so at least she has good taste. Mike plays slots with his mom, sighting it as the only quality time they've spent together. That's Vegas, bringing families together.
Adam calls again and complains to Dustin about Nany. Adam thinks it's okay that he got drunk because he didn't break anything (and how do you know if you blacked out Adam?!?!). He says he's going to call back in an hour, and Naomi answers this time. Nany takes the call and proceeds to let Adam shit all over her, only it seems like she doesn't care. He says that at least he needs his hoodie back, so she walks over to give it to him. She lays it out on the line that he hasn’t changed. Adam acts like everything is okay. Nany stays strong and walks out, and I’m glad she’s getting over him fast.

Mike says goodbye to his mom as Nany says hello to her half sister and visits her father’s grave with her.
Next week is the last episode, where the girls get blue, literally, and they pack up to leave. Naomi apparently wants a fake wedding as well.

It's Sugar, the Follow Up

2011-05-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

I'm a frequent customer of (It's Sugar) and I've noticed during weekdays when its a little slower, they are a little more laid back, but still very nice. On hectic weekends though, they're loads of fun (if they're not trapped behind the register)! Maybe go in there again and give it one more shot? Surely the cherry sours must be worth it! And now that I'm thinking about them, I want them.

This is an email I received from a reader named Stefani, who has had a different experience than I had at It's Sugar. I thanked her for her email, and asked if I could use her comment in a follow up blog. She never wrote me back, so I'm using it anyway!

If you read my previous blog on the issue, I've constantly had bad service at It's Sugar. There has been maybe one or two incidents where the people working there have been nice and helpful. Mostly they just ignore me. Even when I'm at the front, ready to pay for my candy.

A few days after I wrote the blog, I received an email from Veronica from the Universal Studios store;

I saw your review about the ITSUGAR at Townsquare. I am SOOO sorry that you have been having such bad experiences there. I would love to try and rectify the situation if at all possible, and I was wondering if you could tell me the date/time of when you were there.

After figuring out exactly when I was at the store, I wrote her back, and also explained that the service was all that was really lacking at the store. I loved literally everything else about it. It was the last I ever heard from her.

Now, saying she'd like to rectify the situation, and then never getting back to me, or offering me any compensation for the loss of service, is just as bad as the original ignoring at the store. Now I've been ignored twice.

And as I passed by the store today, on the way into and on the way out of a movie, and saw the two employees behind the counter ignoring customers...I barely missed the cherry sour balls.

I'm on a diet now anyway.

Real World Recap: Vacation From Vegas #RealWorld

2011-05-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

Last Time: Dustin and Mike don't get along. Then they do. Then they don't. And Dustin is gay-for-pay. Did I mention Dustin and Mike hate each other?

Mike is talking to HRH Marketing on behalf of the group to bring music back into schools. Later he calls half of Clark County trying to get it started. Warwick, the curator of the displays in the HRH, meets with the cast and they talk about the name of the group, and tension starts to build between Mike and Dustin. Dustin talks out of his ass about ideas, and Mike is hating him. After the meeting, Mike says that Dustin's gay romp might keep him out of schools. Hilarious. It does exactly what Mike secretly wanted it to do, which was piss Dustin off.

In true form, Dustin bitches to Heather about how he is all butt-hurt over it, and not true to form, Mike bitches to Cooke about it. Cooke just wants everyone to get along and have fun, and Mike says "Well that's not gonna happen."

Mike is on the phone with his friend, and brings up the fact that he needs to just leave Dustin alone and let him make his mistakes.

Nany gets a visit from her P.I. who tells her that he's located her dad, who was married to another women when Nany was born. She writes him a letter to give to her dad, and he says he'll see her after the weekend is over.

The casts gets a package saying they are going to Cancun, and they go nutso and pack and leave. They seem pretty excited to be going on a vacation...from their vacation. They arrive and get decked out in their sponsored SunDrop gear. They are told they are going scuba diving the next day. Cue montage of them para sailing and snorkeling. Naomi can't swim, so she's not really having so much fun. They find a snake on the beach and take pictures. They bury Mike and Leroy in the sand together. Heather and Dustin are strolling on the beach...or, as Dustin likes to call it, "a whole other level."

They all get on a boat and watch the sunset, as Mike notices that Dustin and Heather are back together again. Nany is preoccupied with thoughts of her dad. They put Dustin up in a scary para sailing swing. They go to a club and Cooke hooks up with an Australian. Nany and Leroy sneak in on Cooke hooking up. Nany gets her some Vaseline for some random reason. Everyone comes into the room and congratulates the Australian for going where damn near every other man has gone before.

We skip the whole next day in order to get to them partying in the club that night. Dustin gets Adam-sized plastered and insults and offends everyone. Even Heather interviews that Dustin is plowed, and he gets into a fight with the taxi driver.

They finally make it back to their room, where Mike breaks his promise of not calling Dustin on his shit anymore, and...calls him on his shit. Which of course starts a fight. Naomi gets inbetween them, but Nany pulls her out, then in a swift motion Dustin blows past the girls and pushs Mikes face. Twice. SERIOUSLY PRODUCERS??? What the fuck happened to that unwanted touching rule? I think they'll just let anything slide for Vegas seasons. Dustin goes outside, hopefully to cool off.

After the break Dustin comes back in and starts all over. There is shoving. A chair with Mike is flipped over. Nany manages to shove Dustin down and yells at him "Do you want to go home?" At least she knows about the damn rule. They manage to separate them into different rooms and Mike loses his shit and says that Dustin always hates him no matter what he does. Dustin gets emotional all over Leroy about how he can't go into a high school because he did porn, and whines about it like Leroy is gonna say he's perfect. Instead Leroy just says "I know where you are coming from." Dustin says "If you don't respect me, you must fear me." I could write a whole other blog post just based on that sentence along.

The next morning Dustin complains to Heather. Heather tells him that they will probably never be friends. Dustin asks who's is going to fix Mikes hair. LoL.

Some of the cast discusses last night's shenanigans, and Leroy says that Mike knew he was pushing the buttons. I think Mike knows that's what he was doing too. They all decide to put everything aside and go to the SunDrop party and watch a band that I'm sure I'm supposed to know, but just don't. Mike feels like everyone is letting Dustin go free last night. He talks to Cooke about it, she says he was being a dick too, and he walks off. Leroy tries to tell Mike that he has done some wrong. Mike interviews that he just doesn't get it. And gets angry again.

Personal Sidebar; I honestly think that what Mike is truly upset about, is that it's wrong to hold Mike to a higher standard than Dustin. But, this will always happen to Mike, because out of the two, Mike knows better. I'm honestly not sure that Dustin will ever be ever to change, but Mike has the ability to.

The cast packs up and gets ready to leave. On the way to Subway, Mike decides that whatever makes Princess Dustin happy, he'll do it just to keep the peace. Good call, Mike. Good Call.

Mike bows out of going to the school in order to avoid Dustin, the rest of the cast heads over and talks to the kids about their charity. Dustin says he thinks about what Mike said about him everyday, because it makes him feel like a monster. Monster Princess Dustin.

Nany, Naomi, and Adam Skype, and he says that he's coming out and staying across the street at Rumor. Heather makes Nany a sign that's a countdown to when she "gets some."

Next Week: Nany gets some...or does she?

Driving Tips for Tourists and Locals

2011-05-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

Every time I pull my car out of my garage, I almost get into an accident. I used to be a cautious driver back home, and would always let people in when they flipped on their turn signal light. Here it's a totally different story. You drive nice, you drive dead.

I've had certain things happen that are out of this world, along with the usual tomfoolery that goes along with Vegas traffic. I've noticed that over the years my attitude about driving has changed a lot. Someone said to me recently that they "love" blocking other people in who are trying to get in front of them. I realized suddenly that I enjoyed that as well. That made me feel awful to think about how I enjoy making other people crazy on the road.

We should be getting along on the road, seeing as how we are all yielding tons of steel that could kill people. But instead we swerve in and out of traffic, don't let people in, and find victory in other's defeat. We don't know if the other person is late for something, but I find that most of my passive aggressive action comes out when I'm actually not needing to be on time.

My question is why? Why do we all feel the need to screw everyone on the road over? Why do we have to drive like everyday on the streets is Nascar? It's like we are all driving like stereotypical taxi cab drivers. Where does it really get us in life? Does it really make your day if you are mean to someone in traffic?

I guess if it really does, that means you are in the right town.

Real World Recap: Heather Finds Out #RealWorld

2011-05-16T00:51:00.000-07:00

Previously; Cooke is the new roommate, wants Dustin, who is a gay-for-pay porn star. Cooke and Dustin make out after Leroy encourages it.

Dustin and Cooke play pool while Heather notices a sexual connection between the two. Dustin and Leroy visit Subway and talk about the previous night. Leroy thinks Cooke is about to get her ass kicked.

The cast all goes to visit Jet at Mirage for a change of scenery. Nany gets the scoop that Cooke and Dustin "kissed in the cab," and Nany tells her that as long as she didn't let it get far and that was it, Nany won't say a word about it. Sadly for Nany, Heather grabs her and asks what just happened, and Nany isn't going to flat out lie for Cooke, so she tips over like a pitcher of milk and spills it all. Cooke is mad she said anything, and Heather is furious that something like that happened, and she says she's lost all respect for Cooke, who didn't deserve any in the first place, but whatevs.

Meanwhile, Mike is trying to get laid with a girl named Kara. Her friend is intent on cockblocking, so Mike gives them a choice. They choose to leave, and Mike is a little drunk-angry. He's sexually frustrated, and I just wish I had a friend for him.

Heather storms into Cooke and Dustin's room and lays it all on the line. I have to take a moment here to say that Heather is the most mature person in all of Real World History. She doesn't play games, she is up front and lays it on the line, and doesn't pretend like she doesn't have feelings. She's freaking perfect and I wish she would move to Vegas and be my BFF. Dustin keeps asking if Heather is upset, while she's yelling. Dustin, you are just the king of all observation, aren't ya? Heather finally tells him to shut up, and I just want to cheer.

After the break Dustin tries to apologize to Heather. Badly. Basically blames her for his feelings. She makes the point that he lied, yet again, and she's "over it." Sadly, it doesn't look like it actually sunk in.

The girls sans Cooke leave the suite and get ice cream. "She's the kind of girl that sleeps around and then watches the Disney channel." I don't know what that means, but I love it.

Mike and Leroy go out for drinks at the circle bar at HRH. Leroy pushes Mike to go intro himself to a girl at the bar, Denise. He introduces himself as James, and Leroy notes it's time to "be someone else" and not Mike. Mike lies like a huge rug, including talking about killing people. Then the girl notices how his eyes are a pretty color, "like a kitty cat." And with that, Mike is Donezo.

Pink Taco time with Cooke, Mike, and Leroy. Leroy calls Cooke a dirtbag. Cooke basically says that she doesn't care about anyone in the house, and Mike says based on what she's saying, he doesn't blame the girls at all for freezing her out.

The cast goes to a homeless shelter for the HRH intership and feed the kids. From the tablecloth and the turkey I'm assuming it's around Thanksgiving. Nany and Naomi connect with the kids, and it's a really sweet moment. It leads Nany to tell Leroy about how her father was locked up before she was even born. It's obviously a big part of who she is, and I hope she finds him one day.

Cooke takes out a notebook and walks around the house before summoning Heather. She apologizes for her actions and makes it sound like she wasn't after Dustin at all. Heather gives credit where credit is due, it's hard to say you are sorry. Heather interviews that she'll never be back to a great point with Cooke, but she'll let it go.

The gang visits Stoney's, a horrible country bar that charges a cover AND charges for riding the bull. Mike meets an actual nice girl and she gets his phone number, and I'm hoping it works out. Dustin gets a slow mo voice over about how he's confused that Heather is flirting but no longer giving him any.

Mike is talking on the phone with nice girl "Ally" about Zombie survival plans and how hard it is to pronounce "peculiarities" and make plans for dinner! Naomi is a proud parent, and so am I.

The gang goes to the top of the Stratosphere to ride all the rides. Nany interviews that Heather is on an emotional roller coaster right now, she likes Dustin but it's hard.

Nany calls a P.I. and gets him started on finding her dad. She says it could be the best thing or the most disappointing thing, but at least she's doing it.

Mike and Dustin seem to have made up because Dustin gives Mike the shirt off his back for his date. Everyone gets together to make Mike look good, and it's the freaking cutest thing ever. Dustin even takes Mike and Ally's picture before they go out to...Hash House A Go-Go. They talk about a random band and it seems to be going really well. He gets a kiss in the HRH parking lot, and I squeel like a girl over the excitement of it.

Dustin approaches Heather and flirts, Leroy sees and breaks it up. Heather gets a little more drunk, and drags Dustin into her bed. Nany says she's not a mother, and I'm with her. There's only so much you can do.

Naomi and Heather go across the street to "Get Nailed" and talk about the relationship, while Nany talks on the phone with her mom about finding her dad. Nany's mom sort of breaks her heart with the knowledge that he's been out for years, and if he wanted to find her, he would've. Nany is upset, but she wants to know the truth so she can sleep at night.

Ally calls Mike to hang out, and Leroy thinks that it's Mike's lucky night. Leroy wants to go get wine and lights candles. Ally comes over with some other people and they play pool for a bit, and she leaves without dropping her drawers, but Mike is okay with it.

Nany meets with her P.I. for information. He warns her of bad outcomes, and she knows the risks and wants to move forward. Is there an echo in here?

Heather and Dustin sit down again and talk about their feelings. They know there is no right answer, but they are unsure of how to proceed. Heather makes the point that it's impossible to stay away from each other.

Next Week; Cancun, and it looks like the Mike and Dustin lovefest is over!

Damn Touristy Friends

2011-05-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

It's rough living in a tourist town sometimes. I suppose it's a little like being famous sometimes; you never know if your friends really like you for who you are, or if they are just looking for free bottle service at the newest club.

It seems as though there are 3 different types of people that come and visit you in Vegas. The first kind is the kind that just doesn't. They come into Vegas, tweet it up about what fun their having, and then blow out of town without even calling you or wanting to get together.

These, I personally feel, are the worst kind. They are the kind that I pretty much write off after this happens. Even if you don't end up getting together at all, at the very least say you are going to be in town. I don't blow into your town without at least a "I'm headed into X town, let me know if anyone wants to meet up" FB post. It's just rude and uncaring.

The second kind want you to be their personal comp machine. They think because you live in Vegas you open your mouth and bottle services just falls right out of it, at the hottest club, and also no wait in line outside the club. Now that I'm no longer working directly on the strip, I see these are actually hard to come by and almost always an outrageous request. They also want to stay at your house and eat all your food (my last visitor being the only exception to this rule, as she was with her family and having them here was actually an awesome treat) and also want you to stay up at all hours club hopping with them, as if that's all you do for a job in this town. Sorry, not all of us are club promoters.

The last kind is usually the best kind; the ones who let you know ahead of time they are coming, and would like to share a meal with you when they are in town. You set up a time, you meet, you catch up, and then you both go your separate ways. Maybe walk a little on the strip together after the meal, wherever the time takes you. That is the best kind of visit.

I don't want you to think all locals are jerks though. We like it when you come visit, for the most part. And we'll answer any insider questions you like. But if you ask us advise, then don't even call us for a visit...friendship over in my book.

Real World Recap: Dustin Hooks up with Cooke #RealWorld

2011-05-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Previously on Real World: Heather and Dustin broke up, Cooke likes Dustin, Namoi and Leroy are casually hooking up like one is want to do in the City of Sin.

We open with Mike and Leroy in their room and Mike is letting/making Leroy play something on the guitar. Leroy plays a little ditty that is awesome, while Dustin talks to a friend on the phone about his gay porn. He gets a little gay with his friend on the phone, and says he'll see him tomorrow.

Heather talks to Naomi about how she can't be Dustin's girlfriend anymore, and Naomi said she didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't feel bad. Naomi is so real and to the point, I love her.

Dustin's brother and three of his friends come to visit the suite. Cooke likes one of the friends named Josh(the one on the phone earlier), and she flirts accordingly. They of course go out and drink and Cooke talks more with Heather. They make it back to the room, and Josh and Cooke have a hot little sleepover.

Dustin comes back later and sees them snuggling in together, naked. Dustin is all about judging on Cooke having a one night stand with his friend. Shocker.

In the other room, Naomi and Leroy snuggle up and all of a sudden she's having some pain, and she's late on her period, and hey editors! Build up to this! Anyway, they go to the bathroom and Leroy asks "What would you do if you were pregnant?" Naomi looks up and him, and says with the perfect amount of sarcasm "I'm gonna keep it and call it Little Lee."

Even though I'm older than them, I seriously want Mike and Naomi to get together and adopt me. Best freaking parents ever. Every day would be like an episode of Roseanne, I'd be so excited.

Leroy is flipping out, and he admits that they've had unprotected sex so it is partially his fault. Naomi tells Nany and Heather the 411 because she has "no shame in her game," and she says she needs to go to the doctor.

Later Dustin asks Heather to go get him some beer...while he's in the shower.

In the shower.

I know, right? That's a serious dedication to the booze!

Dustin decides to come totally clean with his friends in town, and they peruse the website with all of the penis pics. He asks them advice about getting back with Heather, and they say nothing need to happen right now.

Naomi talks to the women's clinic over the phone, and after describing symptoms that honestly sounds like a UTI to me, they tell her to come in for STD testing. Leroy is trying to play it cool, but he's already interviewed earlier that he's pretty much freaking out.

Naomi is in bed with Nany discussing the situation, and Naomi says she'd kill Leroy if she came back for STDs and being pregnant, but obviously it's her fault too. Nany asks why Naomi isn't on BC, and Naomi says she doesn't know. I hope you are on it now girl, it's awesome for other stuff too, looking into it! Nany says the pull out method doesn't work, and I'm glad someone knows!

Leroy and Mike talk about it, and it's pretty much the same conversation, but from a guys POV. Leroy's been having nightmares about it, and he's freaking out.

Heather comes home with champagne, and when Dustin asks why champagne, Heather answers "Because me and Nany are horny." I'm sorry, what? Unlike me Dustin hops onto that horny train and makes the jacuzzi nice and romantic for the girls. Then the guys leave, and the girls get...drunk. Nany takes a shot from Heather's belly button, and later they do some lesbian kissing. Meanwhile the boys are talking and eating, Dustin whines about wanting Heather back.

The guys get back to the suite and everyone's jaw drops when Heather and Nany start making out. Might I remind you of the whole "I could never be with a guy that touched another guy" rant Heather? This double standard isn't cool!!! Still love you, but really...practice what you preach.

Dustin is shocked, Mike is also shocked. The guys leave them alone, and Nany drunk dials Adam, and they mess with him a little, then hang up...throw some covers over them in the phone area, and....welp, not sure, but Leroy saunters over and is determined to find out! He looks under the sheet and says "I can't believe ya'll didn't include me in this shit!" They move it into the bedroom and the rest of the roommates (sans Dustin) are agape with astonishment.

I think with that last sentence I just isolated the entire demographic they shoot for on the Real World. Except for one. Hi Sarah!

Later in the night Heather is feeling bad about what happened with her and Nany. She goes and wakes Dustin up and tells him she feels bad about it. Dustin, of course, interviews that they are now in the same boat together, and he's all excited. Way to be supportive Dustin. Heather feels like a lot of her actions were from being wronged by Dustin. Dustin talks sweet to her, gets her to come back to his bed. Dustin interviews that they are probably going to get back together now. I swear the things he says sometimes...makes me feel like I'm speaking to my 6th grade boyfriend all over again. All the same 6th grade logic seems to apply with him.

Naomi and Leroy are having some mis-communications, and to be fair Leroy is just at a loss for words I think. Naomi goes to the clinic alone, and maybe I'm being an old lady here, but shouldn't Leroy be going with her for STD testing too? After the break, Results! Naomi isn't pregnant, but she does have an STD, but the actual STD is unknown.

Dustin brings up what Heather thinks of the whole situation. She asks what whole situation, and he says the situation between the two of them. She says she can't turn off her attraction to him, and he's a big baby about how it's back and forth. Heather realizes she needs to distance herself further from him, and Dustin pretends he's putting on his big boy pants and says they are definitely breaking up.

Cooke and Heather talk, and Cooke interviews that the whole Dustin and Heather thing bugs her. She talks about it with Mike, and Mike says he thinks they are getting back together. Cooke doesn't quite want to hear that.

Leroy calls Naomi into his room to talk. He says he's sorry for the whole situation and that he didn't speak up sooner. He confesses he's been losing sleep over it, and he was just scared about the whole situation. They make up, but they are still worried about the STD situation. Honestly I'm kinda hoping that the doctor at the clinic was a dumbass and she really does just have a bad UTI.

The doctor calls back, and it turns out it's just an va-jay-jay infection, and she's jubilant, and I'm totally with her. She tells Leroy in the confessional and messes with him a little bit. Mike, Dustin, and Leroy talk about different kinds of STDs and Dustin hilarious yells "they stick it up your pee-hole!" and I'll be damned if that isn't funnier than "everdom"

The roommates go ziplining, and apparently it's the world's2nd fastest zipline, according to Dustin. Leroy is scared. Cooke interviews that she wants to "be there" for Dustin now that he and Heather are over. No one dies a zipline death.

Dustin, Leroy, and Cooke decide to go to the Palms, and Cooke makes her move dancing with Dustin. After the break they seem awfully close to kissing. Leroy encourages it, and Dustin is tempted, and doesn't know what to do. Oh wait, then he makes out with Cooke. Looks like he wasn't all that conflicted. Leroy promises to say nothing to the group. Naomi calls that something is going on right away, and there is more flirting and hiding at the suite. Cooke interviews that she feels like she's doing Heather a favor by taking him off her hands.

Yeah, and exactly zero girls are ever going to agree with you on that, including Heather.

Next week, Dustin whines about how it was bad to kiss Cooke, Cooke still wants to bang Dustin, Heather says Cooke has screws loose in her head, Heather apparently finds out about the kiss and says she has no respect for Dustin, and starts yelling in Cooke's face. I can't wait for that shit!

Real World Recap: Dustin's Secret and I'm Totally Late. #RealWorld

2011-04-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned on Twitter, I had a sort of big week, so I had to put this recap off until now. But, don't they say better late than never? Well, even if they don't say that anymore, I'm doing it anyway!

Previously, Dustin doesn't like to judged. And likes Heather.

They take a trip to the Venetian, and it's decided that they are going to ride the gondolas based on sex. Dustin says it's gay to ride on the gondolas with a dude, and he isn't going to do it. Mike and Leroy hilariously ride together alone, telling people passing by that they are getting married, and do a hilarious fake make out just for good measure.

Dustin calls his mother, who seems to be very excited to hear from him. He asks her if she's feeling okay, she says she just fine and why does he ask? He tells her that he can tell by the tone of her voice that she's in the beginning stages of racing. Now, I had to back that up and turn on the closed captioning, and at first I still didn't understand it. Is Dustin's mom a closeted race car driver? She denys this, and he interviews that when he was a kid his mom was into drugs, and it aggravated her bi-polarism. Basically racing is when you go off your bi-polar medication, and that's what happened when Dustin's mom when to prison. She gets very upset when she's accused of this racing, as a bi-polar person off their meds is want to do, and then starts crying and asks him to please not stop calling her. Dustin never said he wasn't going to call her again, on camera anyway, but her crying and asking is a heartbreaker, and even though I don't know the whole story, I feel sorry for her.

Dustin tells Heather about what it was like to grow up with his mom being bi-polar, and we see a little bit of his audition tape with his mom. She very tiny and looks like she's been through a lot. She would leave Dustin without babysitters and go do drugs and hang out with random guys and go home with them. Heather interviews that she can only be there for him. It has to be really tough when you are a kid and you end up taking care of your parents. It changes people, I've seen it happen. It's heartbreaking. But in the end, it's like those kids switch to being a split personality themselves. Part of them is always a grown up and always wanting to take care of people because that's all they know, and the other part of them will sort of always be a child because no one was there for them to show them how to be an adult. I really feel like this is the case with Dustin.

Nany gets a call from Adam, who says that people have been blowing up Dustin's blog (I'm assuming on the Real World site, but I could be wrong, he might have his own blog) about the porn he used to do. Nany says "What?!?" and they up the font size (silly producers) to show Adam saying "He did porn!" and then does his trademark "Don't tell anyone" gag, which means tell everyone. True to form, she gets off the phone in order to tell Naomi, and they laugh about it, but feel bad for Heather (aka peanut, the most adorable nickname ever).

Heather gets an email from her mom telling her basically what Adam told Nany. Heather is very quiet, gets up from the computer and sits down in the living room. Dustin comes out from his shower and Heather is visibly upset, so he asks her what is wrong. She asks if there is anything he hasn't told her. He said there's lots that he hasn't told her. She asks if there is anything really important he hasn't told her about, and Dustin panics because he knows that she's found out. He basically avoids confrontation at all costs and runs out to Subway for food.

Nany notices Heather upset on the couch and asks her if someone called her. She said someone emailed her, and Nany tells Heather to come on, she knows what it is, and says she probably should have told her herself. She confirms that Heather's mom is telling the truth, and Heather burys her face in her hands and starts crying and says "I just want to go home," and "I feel stupid." It's a lot of information to process at once, the porn and the fact that he didn't tell her about it. Just for the STD's alone he should've really been upfront about this in my opinion. Nany is very supportive, telling her she shouldn't feel stupid and he should have been upfront about it. Heather says she wants to see the site now, and they kick Mike off the computer to show her. Nany says she'll erase the browser history, and Heather says it doesn't matter because she's not gonna lie about.

Dustin comes home and approaches Heather with "Why don't you tell me what your friends told you, and I'll tell you how much of it is true." Spoken like a true person who wants to only reveal as much as they need to in order to avoid total catastrophe. Heather calls him on it and tells him to tell her what is true. He says he was approached after graduation to live in a house with a web cam following him around all the time, even in the showers, and then falters and says he's not good at apologizing and she still isn't looking at him, so he asks if she just wants to be left alone. She says "You don't think I have a right to be upset?" Dustin is shocked and says "You are really that upset?" He brings up that Adam went to jail for a shooting and everyone rallied around him for it, but I think the difference is Adam never had to bring that up, but he brought it up first.

Heather says "You got taped having sex, it's all over the internet!" Dustin's wheels start spinning in his head, and then he cocks his head and looks at Heather and says "Wait, what? I...I didn't get taped having sex." Heather looks at him, and it's hard to tell if it's a "maybe this is a misunderstanding" face, or a "you are completely full of shit" face. She asks if he was never taped having sex with someone else, and he says "Well, yes I did. On a video." Like that makes it better. Heather verifies it was with another guy, then asks "Are you gay?" Dustin makes a lemon face and declares "NO!" to both gay and bi-sexualness.

"It went against my values and all that" Dustin says, but he was in a place where he felt there was no other way out because his parents weren't there. I'm pretty sure somewhere else was hiring entry level positions, but whatever. He asks if she wants to know anything else, she says no. He walks out of the bathroom and leaves her alone.

The cast decides to go to see Zumanity, and Nany thinks it's good for Heather to get out. Dustin says he doesn't really want to go, but he's sucking it up. Mike interviews that Zumanity is "all about the carnal intent of man." Just say sex Mike, it's okay. Leroy interviews that all the female performers are in thongs, and he's liking what he sees so far. Cut to male dancers showing off their ass, and Leroy making a -_- face. "Disturbing" he says. Hilarious, I say.

They make Mike eat a banana, and they pull Dustin on stage, and you can tell by Heather's face her mind is so elsewhere. Leroy interviews that he's worried about Dustin, and that Heather told him that he participated in gay porn. Cooke is there, and she looks mad uncomfortable. Cooke interviews that she's uncomfortable because she had a crush on Dustin, but her feelings are pretty much canceled out at this point and she just wants to be there for Heather.

Heather and Cooke talk in the kitchen about it, and Heather says "When was he going to tell me about it? When it was 2 years into the relationship? After we were married? When our kid was looking for it on the internet?" And though she's upset, she makes a fine point. Earlier in the relationship would've been better for stuff like this. But then she says "I've said it before, I could never date a guy who would kiss another guy." And I've seen next week's preview where she is making out with Nany, and I have to call hypocrisy on this one. You can't say one thing and do another. But we'll cover that next week apparently.

Dustin says he doesn't know what he's going to tell everyone, because Leroy is homophobic, and Mike is all black and white, there is no gray with him. I don't think he's like that but I guess we'll see, won't we? Dustin goes to the kitchen and knows that everyone knows. He panics and leaves the suite.

When he comes back in Leroy asks if they can step outside for a minute. Leroy says that the past is the past, but wonders why he kept it a secret. Leroy says that he's gone around making homophobic comments, and obviously it wasn't okay and he needed to keep it to himself if it upset Dustin. Dustin skews the truth a bit and tells him it was just a webcam show where they were naked, and Leroy brings up that Dustin has been more than a little judgmental. Flashback to Dustin saying "People are put on the earth for one fucking reason, and that is to reproduce." Leroy says he's not here to judge Dustin, but that only God will judge him. Leroy says that Dustin should be on his knees to god right now, and Dustin says "for what?" Leroy says that all he's asking Dustin to do is talk to god about it more than anything.

Dustin doesn't want to come back into the suite, and Heather comes out. Dustin wants her to get away, and she says she didn't tell all of them, that Nany knew because Adam told her first. Dustin says he feels the judgment coming from the room, and it's too much. Dustin walks back into the suite and starts packing. Heather says she loves him, and doesn't get a response. He leaves the suite.

The roommates discuss Dustin's departure, and Leroy is conflicted, but Mike says that it's best that he leaves. Mike is upset that it was hidden from him, and he thinks that Dustin would've kept it to himself the whole time if they hadn't found out. Considering they are just under halfway into this experience, I'd have to agree with him. But I don't think he should leave because of the lying or the porn. Dustin is making too big a deal out of this, if he had come clean at the beginning, it would've never blown up to this level. This is what I was talking about with the always being a child thing. He'd rather walk away from a situation than face it like an adult.

The next morning Dustin's past has gone viral, and he's still out there alone somewhere. Let's hope without an internet connection. Heather calls her mom and talks to her about the situation. Her mom says maybe she should back up with Dustin a bit, get to know him a little better before continuing the relationship. Her mom is so supportive and perfect in the conversation, and ends the call with "call me anytime." After a search on the internet with Leroy and Mike, Heather says she doesn't want him to come back.

Naomi, Nany, and Cooke are eating at Mr. Luckys and discussing the situation. Cooke feels bad for Heather, and says that she's actually kind of glad that something broke them up because now she feels like they are all together. I think it's just because you wanted to see them broken up period, but whatevs.

Dustin comes back into the suite to face the music. He's finally gotten to the point where he knows he needs to face the situation, and calls a meeting. He explains himself as best he can, says that he was very good at hiding this fact from everyone even when it was happening. He even had a girlfriend at the time who never knew. Leroy asks who Dustin even is, because everything up until this point seems like it was a lie. Dustin says that a job doesn't make him who he is, just like Leroy being a garbage man doesn't make him a different person. Heather says that at the same time, Leroy doesn't go around looking at garagemen and saying 'I could never do that, it's disgusting." And again Heather makes a great point.

Mike decides to stay quiet, and Nany asks if he regrets it. He says not really, and says the boss was like a father figure. They point out to him that he was being manipulated, and he doesn't accept it. He says that he and Heather would've never gotten together if he'd been upfront about it first. Heather says that means the whole relationship was based on a lie, and that's something that she needed to know. He thanks them for listening, says he's sorry, and walks back out the door with his backpack on.

Leroy wants him to go, and Mike agrees. Mike doesn't respect him (but he never did), and says he's crazy. Leroy tells him to calm down, and Mike writes him a letter to get all the emotions out. However, that exercise only works when you then throw the letter out, but instead Mike hands it over to Dustin, who is sleeping in his bed, so apparently he didn't leave with his backpack on and my plasma screen is broken or something. Dustin reads the letter and interviews that it basically says that Mike hates Dustin, wants him to leave, but also wants to help him because he feels bad for him. Dustin goes to sleep in the confessional, I think to get away from the feeling that everyone was judging him.

Heather and Dustin go eat at Pink Taco, and Dustin says he wants to stay because he needs to stop running. Then Dustin launches into some nonsense I can't even recap because it really doesn't make sense, but it really makes me think that hiding this secret has changed him, maybe more than he ever knows. He seems to be still hiding it from himself in a way, because I think he isn't ready to deal with it. Heather asks if she needs to get tested, he says no, but she says she's going to anyway. He again asks her if all this is really that big of a deal, and she says yes. He completely turns the tables on her and treats her as if she was the one who was doing something wrong. Dustin says it's over between him and Heather because he lied.

Next Time: Naomi might be preggo! Ruh-Roh!

It's...Not Good Customer Service!

2011-04-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

I just recently started working for a place with out-of-this-world customer service. It makes all other places pretty much awful, so if you see an influx of me complaining about bad customer service, this is why.

I walked into It's Sugar the other day, looking for some cherry sour balls. With all the different candy places around town, I really do like It's Sugar the best. I first went to one at City Walk in Universal, and I just loved the giant print ads in the front. It was like Haute Candy, and it was just such an awesome concept, I liked it. Then I went in, and the candy was awesome. There was a giant Marilyn Monroe jelly bean statue, and snarky-named candies, and I just fell in love. I'm not even a huge fan of candy, but they made it so fun that every time I go I want to buy something.

When we finally got one in Town Square, I was so excited. Then I was disappointed, because it's more like an It's Sugar Express. It's not as big, the clothing isn't as vast, but hey, at least it was there. I could get my cherry sour balls.

At the Universal Studios store, the people working there always asked if you found everything okay, and gushed about what you were buying and how much they liked it. I wish I could say the same for the Vegas location.

I went in the other day and got my batch of candy. There were three people behind the tiny counter as I approached, one young guy and two women. After a few seconds the guy noticed I had already plopped down my candy and was sitting there tapping my foot. He tried to motion to the women that I was there, as the older woman talked on and on about the importance of...customer service. I swear, you can't make this stuff up. After the guy finally got their attention, the older women just said to me "She'll help you on this side" and went right back to her conversation. About good customer service.

The young lady basically just told me my total, and made it seem like I was really bothering her. When I used a credit card she rudely asked me for my I.D. (something that for a total that small is totally unnecessary) and seemed angry I didn't take the ID totally out of my wallet for her.

If this were an isolated incident, I wouldn't be as angry, but every time I buy something from this location it's the same thing. People who, even in this economic climate, feel like working is a hassle.

Looks like I'm going somewhere else for my cherry sour balls from now on.

Real World Recap: Cooke Stirs the Pot #RealWorld

2011-04-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

Last week Adam got kicked out of HRH for being motherfucking insane...and also destroying property. This week a new roommate arrives in the form of Heather Cooke, who is just going by Cooke because for fucks sake we can't have double names again. (Adam's first name is actually Michael, thus making it two Mikes in the house, and we couldn't have that, so hence the "Cooke" monkier. Also Nany's real name is Naomi too, so...yeah, clusterfuck.)

From her audition tape, all we really know before Cooke walks into the house is that she loves soccer and is pretty much those girls that are sort of self-conscious, so they cover it up by being a total bitch. But only time will tell on that one.

Cooke walks in and greets the other roommates. Leroy is already looking to mack, the girls are pissed, and Cooke is making eyes for Dustin already. She's also disappointed that Heather and Dustin are hooking up. Dustin tries to switch rooms with some of the guys so that Heather doesn't get pissed with Cooke...Mike and Leroy say nope, they are BFFs and they aren't moving.

Naomi calls Adam and gives him the low down on Cooke. He says shes gonna calls drama. This makes Nany freak a little bit, and she talks to Naomi about it over a smoke (GIRLS, knock it off! No smoking, live a long life instead!)

At Pink Taco, Cooke makes "nice" by saying she doesn't like girls at all in front of Naomi and Nany (and Mike). She also states she wants to break up Heather and Dustin. Naomi and Nany of course tell Heather, and she seems more confused than mad. Cooke talks all kinds of shit to a friend back home on the phone.

Cooke starts in on flirting with Dustin while trying to move his clothes out of the closet. She VOs that she and Dustin have a connection, while it kinda looks like Dustin just got a bad case of constipation. Heather talks to Leroy and Mike about it, and Mike says he doesn't think much of Dustin and Heather should really watch out. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Mike? Like, for real? Also, Heather...just have really loud sex with Dustin in his bed for a week. It'll all work out.

Instead Heather talks to Dustin about how she wants everything to go away and them all to get along. She says what Mike said, and of course Dustin gets all sorts of pissy and goes and talks to Mike. Leroy and Mike say that Dustin has changed since this all started, and got cranky. Dustin says not to befriend him (to Mike), and Mike says that since week 3 he's never considered Dustin a friend. Yeouch. Also, love you Mike.

Cooke tries to get Dustin to come out to Moon at Palms for her first night out partying with everyone. Dustin, being the immature sissypants that he is, decides to stay home instead. No worries bro, I did the same thing when my feelings got hurt at an out of town high school swim meet. Only, I was 15 at the time, and you are like, 23. Maybe it's time to man up, no?

At Moon, Cooke cozies up to Leroy and says she's working on nailing Dustin, and not to tell anyone. He's like, fine, mostly I think because he's drunk and he won't remember anyway. The girls see them together and tempers start flaring again. Naomi is the first one to crack and say that she really can't handle much more of this elitist bullshit from Cooke, and I'm with her all the way. Heather feels like Cooke is "not considerate."

The next morning Cooke goes to confessional and talks about how she's trying to fit in. Heather approaches Cooke and asks her how long she's been playing soccer. Without looking up she answers in short, clipped sentences.

Later on Cooke asks if she can borrow one of Leroy's shirts. Dustin wants to know what kind of tone she's setting by wearing another guys shirt to the gym. Meanwhile at the gym Leroy remembers the drunk conversation and is still okay with Cooke despite the fact that she wants to break Heather and Dustin up. Naomi is also getting pissed about the shirt, and makes a fair point about how athletic clothing is all that the girl wears and there's no need to borrow Leroy's shirt.

Leroy, Mike, and Cooke go to Fremont Street, and of plug Subway while they are there. Leroy talks about his childhood, and it's pretty rough. Of course Cooke brings it back to not getting along with the girls. But then they ride the zipline and all is good. Back at the suite the girls are mad that 1. Cooke is a bitch, and 2. Mike and Leroy took her on as one of the guys.

At the club, a mistaken hand gesture sends the girls into a dizzy, and at this is where I have to part company from the rest of the girls. I know emotions are running high, but girls...wait until you get back to the room and calmly talk about it. Dustin starts MORE shit by saying that the whole reason Naomi was having a problem with Cooke is because of Leroy. Leroy hears this, and is done with Naomi.

The girls are drunk, and come home after Cooke has gone to bed. Naomi unceremoniously wakes up Cooke and tells her to get outside because they are talking about her and well....I guess she has to defend herself or something. Cooke refuses, so Naomi launches into the problems from the beginning. Naomi brings up the Pink Taco lunch where Cooke said she was going to break up Dustin and Heather. Cooke turns to Dustin and asks "Are you mad?" Like that's the only thing that matters right now. Naomi obviously agrees with me and escalates the yelling and gets in Cooke's face. Cooke seems to be handling it okay herself, but of course Hero Complex Dustin gets inbetween them, throws Naomi onto the next bed, and tells her she "knows better."

He just keeps sliding farther down my list, I swear. Now he has taken physical action against a girl, where none needed to be taken. Naomi didn't act like she was going to hit Cooke, although it was heated. So, basically, the violence that he wanted to keep the girls from last week, he is now CAUSING this week. BTW, producers, shouldn't he get kicked out for laying a hand on another cast mate??? Did that rule just fly out the window this season or what?

Nany is pretty drunk and is yelling also, and it's a crazy fight. Cooke gets out of bed and goes into the living room, still sort of not believing what is going on. She was crying at the club, but she seems pretty stone faced now. She goes into Mike and Leroy's room. Mike says they had it out for her from the beginning, and sweetie, you are NOT helping. She started shit from the moment she walked in, and the girls reacted. Dustin is still spreading that Naomi is mad at her because Leroy wants to hit that. Which, no, I don't think so. I think she's mad FOR Heather.

Heather and Dustin have a convo in the bathroom and Heather makes the point that Cooke never tried to get to know them, which is true. Dustin tries to mend fences with Cooke and the girls, but the girls are having none of it. Cooke says she just doesn't want to deal with it. I have a great idea Cooke...move out. You don't have to take this. Just go. Now. By the next commercial break.

Heather apologizes to Cooke, and they seem to work it out, and Heather is willing to give her a shot. Heather interviews that she's still going after Dustin though, and she gets what she wants.

Next time; Adam is back, there is girl kissing action, another Mike/Dustin showdown, and apparently a lot less Cooke. Maybe she takes my advice? Only time will tell!

Fact Checking...Why bother?

2011-04-18T09:45:00.000-07:00

There was a fire on Sunday. A great big plume of smoke came from Henderson, and for a good long while, no one knew where it was, especially the fire department. The cloud of smoke got bigger and bigger, and I finally took to twitter to see what was going on. Twitter then lead me to this article.

Go ahead, go read it, come back. It won't take you long.

Back? Okay, lets recap. The fire was in a swamp area. Because apparently we are located right next to Orlando now. I hate to break it to ya, but we are in a desert. Swamp areas in deserts? Little scarce. Someone in the comments said that the "swamp" was actually a water treatment plant and the water is "treated and released." So, that's what's causing the swampland? We are over there treating water and not re-using it, but instead just letting it back out into the wild like a rehabilitated animal. The commenter goes on to say that the water "eventually gets to Lake Mead." Oooooooookay. So, there's a river? Or does this water have special teleportation skills?

Also, be careful, because this water seems to be highly flammable. The brush just catches on fire every year in April! Every year! This comes straight from the mouth of Tim Szymanski, public education/information officer for Las Vegas Fire & Medical. It's like Brigadoon out there, only the flammable water and brush is a little confused and comes every single April as opposed to every 100 years.

But don't worry, they'll have it out in no time. I'm sure crews will be ready April 1st, awaiting the next swamp fire.

Real World Recap: Adios Drama Llama Adam #RealWorld

2011-04-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

We open on the aftermath of last week, blood and broken glass everywhere. Adam is drinking water, but still has a bit of a glassy look to his eyes. Nany interviews that she's sad that Adam "has" to go through this. Adam yells about missing a shoe, and he's still breaking stuff. Mike just laughs because he doesn't know what else to do.

Leroy is pissed about the night before, and Adam asks if they can leave for work so he can sleep. They go to The Joint and set up for the Fetish and Fantasy Ball. Adam finds a quiet corner and yells for Heather to make sure not to leave him there. They argue, and he falls asleep.

Mike is excited because there will be slutty women at the ball, and Sasha Sweet shows up. She's a porn star apparently. She's in a separate room where they are setting up, and somehow Dustin gets the porn star to come over to their table to get Mike to feel her breast. He does it twice for good measure, and interviews that he's never felt a fake boob before.

The cast goes to Mr. Lucky's and they try and talk to Adam about his behavior from the night before. Meanwhile, up in the suite, Security comes in and takes a lot of pictures of the damage made to the suite. Leroy says he wants Adam to go home, straight up. The rest of the cast decides that if something like this happens again, he's kicked out. Leroy does not like that answer, he wants Adam out now. He gets so angry he leaves the table. He gets on the phone with his friend and talks about the issue.

BTW, they have an awesome establishing shot of it raining on the Strip, and I'm pretty sure it's fake, because it's never rained that hard here. At least that's what it feels like.

The cast gets ready for the ball in all their wild clothes. The girls are just general slutty outfits, and Leroy is the bottom half of a fireman, which is hilarious. After a while at the ball, they move the party to Vanity, where the owner takes Adam aside and tells him he is banned from the club. He goes back up to the room while the rest of the cast parties. When they come home Adam whines about it to Nany, and Leroy is still pissed. So pissed in fact, that he decides to make a point. His point is Adam is acting crazy, so he'll just act like Adam. Glassware is broken, and I swear the rest of the season is going to be everyone drinking out of paper cups. He calls Nany out, to basically show her what she's letting slide with Adam. She doesn't take kindly to it, and blabs that she heard him talking about her in the confessional. Uhhh, Nany...do you understand what the confessional is for?

Later Leroy actually cleans up his mess. Mike and Leroy have some confessional time that ends in some laughter, but the music is still dark, so we know something must be up. The "up" is the security manager kicking Adam out of the hotel. He takes it in stride and calmly calls his friends in town and says he'll be an extra 20 minutes. Leroy is more than happy that Adam is going home. Nany, of course, is upset. Mostly because his mack is still on.

As I watch her teary eyed interview, I know this is what is best for her, because he is a conniving creep to her. Adam says goodbye, sort of saying that he'll be back and it's fine. He asks security if this is a lifetime ban, and they tell him it's just for a year. Fast forward to now, where I interviewed him inside the suite, and just after that he tweeted that he was allowed back in Vanity, he just couldn't drink.

Way to stick to your guns Hard Rock. I really respect you now.

Nany and Leroy have a heart to heart and have it out. It ends with a play by Leroy which is hilarious. I almost wish that Nany liked him, at least he's up front about his boyhood play. The roommates go back to Vanity, because they are so broken up about Adam's departure. Oh wait. Nany is getting teary eyed and basically getting "graduation goggles" (Shout out to anyone who both watches this show and HIMYM)

Mike goes all out and tries to hit on a girl. MikeFail. I love the kid, but the Vegas girl just chews him up and spits him out. And BTW, Mike, I totally want to read that book Super Freakenomics. Man if I wasn't already married :-)

Later Nany calls Adam over at Caesars Palace, and he asks her out on a date. Nany wants to "tell him how she really feels" which I think is longhand for nookie. Totally Graduation Goggles. Later Housekeeping comes to disinfect the suite, and Leroy is happy about the rest of the cast and doesn't want a new roommate. Nany gets ready and says she's going over to have dinner with Adam and then they are going to Rumor. And I've been a bad Las Vegan, because I don't even know where Rumor is. (oh, literally across the street from HRH) Adam says he's wants to stay, and at this point I just don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. Nany, of course, all but says she loves him.

Mike starts a game to get phone numbers, and he really goes whole hog at Vanity. He dances with girls on top of a table, and for some reason a pink sharpie comes out of the woodwork and gets a number just above his naughty bits. He seems to have some pink sharpie on the back of his neck too, so I guess he won the game. Later at the suite Leroy says "You come here bein' Mike, don't leave being RoyLee" and it's awesome how these two are shaping up to be friends.

Nany and Adam seem to be heating up, but we don't get a money shot. In the morning Adam takes off, and the rest of the guys hang at Subway and talk about how it's better that Adam is gone for Nany. Dustin calls Nany a dumb ho, and I think that's a little uncalled for. Dustin seems to really want to be a gentleman, but he just doesn't make it with language like that. He's a little overbearing, and I'm starting to see now why I wasn't that big a fan when I met him but couldn't put my finger on why.

Nany says she doesn't want a new roommate. They discuss whether or not the new roommate might be gay. Dustin and Leroy show some extreme homophobia. Heather, of course, says she could never hook up with a guy who's been with another guy, and Dustin sort of blinks, but other than that, no foreshadowing whatsoever.

Dustin is down at Vanity hooking up, and Mike is upstairs getting creative. He makes a bed fort in the living room, and calls it "sexiled island" He manages to get Leroy's lady into his fort, and they fake sex noises that turn into monkey noises.

The Front Desk calls up to the suite and says someone by the last name of "Cooke" is coming up in an hour. Mike hopes it's a cute Jewish girl, Leroy wants it to be a girl too. The girls want it to be a guy, and Adam calls and Dustin tells him about the new roommate. They all clean furiously for the arrival.

Next Week, Heather Cooke, it's a girl! And she looks like Trouble!!! Naomi gets in her face like crazy, and it looks like mucho drama is back in the house!!!

A T-Rex in a Bathroom Stall

2011-04-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

The past few years I've noticed bathrooms...evolving. Now, I'm not the skinniest person in the world, but I'm far from the heaviest person out there. I am amongst the shorter crowd, I clock in at about 5'2 1/2", but I've found lately that my knees will hit the door, and I have to do the awkward shuffle alongside the side of the toilet in order to even get the door closed.

Of course, on the strip this is never a problem, but I've found that it's starting to happen all over the city, and even on the way to L.A. Have you been in the Barstow Starbucks Women's bathroom? The door literally hits the toilet, it doesn't open all the way. Is that even legal?

I also have to wonder what is going on with the toilet paper dispenser. Sometimes it's so low, it has to hit the ground before we can roll it up. I feel like I'm a T-Rex trying to use the restroom and not a normal sized person trying to use a normal sized stall. Also, would it be too much to ask to have a paper cover that doesn't fall into the toilet right after you manage to get your pants down?

Am I the only one who has noticed this?

Real World Recap: Adam's Drunken Hissy Fit #RealWorld

2011-04-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

Nany and Adam make out in Adam's bed, and then Adam takes a shower and talks to his friend Miles on the phone while Nany and Naomi talk about how things are complicated, but Nany seems happy even though she's getting played by Adam hard.

Vanity nightclub; Leroy and Naomi take home a date to the room. They start bowling and Leroy thinks Naomi's date looks like Frankenstein, and they both go to bed with their dates. Naomi's date gets kicked out in the morning by everyone, and she says he was "wack."

Nany calls Sean, the nightclub busboy from last week, and they make a date to meet, but she brings Heather and Naomi to Pink Taco to make things awkward for Sean I guess, but then he says other people are coming. Even though he's just a busboy he picks up the tab for everyone.

Adam is all butt-hurt about Sean, even though HE stills has a boyfriend. Heather and Dustin talk in the bathroom about it, Dustin thinks Adam will go into a huge drunk rant and someone will get physically hurt. Later on Adam and Mike discuss, and Mike eloquently says "I think it's just a case of the player being played." Have I mentioned how much I like Mike?

Adam asks Nany if they are cuddling tonight, and ask about switching up the rooms where they sleep. Then at Vanity nightclub Adam is hard core hitting on Tina, a girl that seriously look like a Tranny (as the cast was joking about on Twitter) and Mike has to kick out. Tina doesn't seem to leave though, just be hanging out out in the living room. Leroy escorts her out, and Adam gets into bed with Nany, and after some talk he reveals that Tina was his girl he brought home. Nany gets pissed and gets back into her own bed. Adam tells Mike that "everyone" hates him again (I guess now Nany is everyone) and that he's going to get her back. Mike doesn't doubt it.

Nany feels a little played about the night before and talks about it with Leroy and Mike. Adam calls his "girlfriend" and says he's unhappy with her going out, and says that if she goes to that party then they are done. He is manipulating this girl and she's so stupid.

The cast is meeting their boss Phil to see what the project is for the next week. Fetish and Fantasy ball is their assignment, which is actually a big thing in Vegas, but it's just a big orgy.

Adam is talking to Mike and Leroy about how his player role isn't working, and he says he's will to fuck her over like crazy. Mike says the relationship is a ticking time bomb and it's only a matter of time before it blows up.

The cast is at the circle bar, and Leroy is trying to hook up. He brings home Britney, someone who looks like she belongs on LV Jailhouse and not The Real World. They hook up, he escorts her out, and Naomi gets into his bed and they compare notes. Leroy knows he has a good deal in Naomi.

Adam and Nany have a chat, and Nany said it was the dishonesty that upset her and not that he wants to hook up with other people. He tells her what she wants to hear just to get away with it. Nany talks to Naomi and says she doesn't believe his apology, and she thinks he's just an act. I'm glad she finally sees what he's doing.

The cast goes to search for outfits for the Fetish and Fantasy ball, and funny costumes happen. Adam's friends come to visit for the weekend, and of course they go to Vanity. While there Nany runs into Sean and they start hanging out. Then Sean drops the bomb that he has a girlfriend and he doesn't want to lie. Adam is excited because his competition is eliminated. Nany is upset, she feels like an idiot for sort of throwing herself at him. She's crying at the club, and Leroy gets a little upset and says that she should fuck Sean, fuck Adam, and do you (Nany). I feel bad for Nany, because some girls just attract these guys. Nany gets over it and starts making out with Adam on the dance floor.

The guys get angry, Dustin talks to Heather about it, and Heather saves her from herself. Adam knows he's lost, and gets blazing drunk. The blank stare starts, Dustin observes this, then security sees it and tells them to get him out of there. They try and get him back to the suite, he starts spitting on a display, then goes up the the suite and starts breaking everything. It takes three of the guys to get him into bed and settled down.

The girls head back to the suite and Nany says she stills wants to sleep with Adam. She gets back, they ask her to take care of him, and she refuses. He goes apeshit, and she tries to take over and tells him to lie down, and he breaks the glass on a frame behind her and it crashes to the floor. She's obviously still very drunk because she hardly reacts, and the guys come back in and try to get him off her. Dustin comes in and yells "You're bleeding bro? What is going on?" and Nany again screams about how this isn't her problem.

There is more back and forth, and Dustin tries to get Nany away from Adam, and Nany gets angry with him. Dustin says he doesn't want her to see this. She needs to stay away. She drunkenly agrees, but then goes over to the bathroom where they are trying to clean him up. Dustin gets angry when he sees her and asks her to go. He says she doesn't need to put herself in this position, and from the bathroom Adam calls her a bitch, and she flips out and tries to go after him. Dustin picks her up and removes her from the area, holding her. Nany drops the bomb that she's not afraid because she's been hit before. This shocks the hell out of everyone, and they tell her that's not going to happen again, and she keeps saying she's not scared. She's so drunk, and I think this sobered her up enough that she breaks down. She doesn't want anyone to mention it again, and she's breaking my heart. I actually felt this about her, this whole trying to save her from the world thing, when I met her.

Later that night she says she doesn't want anything said tomorrow or ever, and Heather is worried about her, and Namoi says she's going to be there for her if she needs her.

Adam isn't looking so hot, and Nany is still crying, and it's a huge mess. Next week Leroy goes apeshit because everyone is coddling Adam and he doesn't need it. I don't think that's the most adult way of going about it, but his point is still valid.

Holly's World: Season Finale! #HollysWorld

2011-04-04T19:33:00.000-07:00

So, if this is/was the entire season of Holly's World, color me unimpressed. It went nowhere fast.

Holly and Angel's manager comes to pick Angel up to go to an audition for Absinthe, a new cabaret style show at Caesars Palace. Bad timing on the show's part, since I'm pretty sure Holly and Co. attended the premiere of it this weekend. Hard to attend when you are onstage.

They are asking Angel to tap dance, and her manager says "You could have your own show, what do you think about that?" What I think is that the show isn't centered around a mediocre tap dancer.

Back at Planet Ho, a music director is talking to Holly and Josh about Josh's upcoming music video shoot. Holly says she wants to be one of the "haters" in the video too, with a black wig and pantyhose. Music Director lays down a Canadian stereotype, and everyone laughs.

Speaking of the Mountie herself, she shows up to Anytime Fitness and jumps on the treadmill next to Laura, who tries to do her best surprised impersonation. Jayde says she hasn't been able to reach her in forever, and they feign awkward silence. Laura sort of stands up for Angel and Jayde still isn't sorry, but still leaves.

Angel gets to the "cabaret circus" and auditions. And sucks. And then messes up. And has to take a break. She gets some rosin on her shoes, and then goes through the whole thing. She still sucks, but they say it was "nice."

Josh is doing choreography for his music video in a Planet Ho hotel hallway, while Holly and Angel drive Holly's pink car around in the middle of the desert. Their manager calls Angel and says she got the gig for Absinthe. They keep switching from Holly back to Angel, and the background outside the car never matches up. Holly's driving on the strip, Angel is out in the middle of North Vegas. Keep it straight people.

Josh tells the girls how excited he is for his music video, then they go out to make it. They run all around and Laura interviews that people were staring at them and it was awkward. They end up at LAX, where suddenly Jayde Nicole shows up. Shocker. She pretends like nothing is wrong, and Angel flips out in her interview. Jayde asks to speak to Angel alone, and Jayde comes as close as she can to apologizing. Angel accepts it, but says she basically still thinks she's a big fat ho-bag.

Josh takes the stage to perform his show, telling the audience that it's for the music video, which segues into footage from the actual music video. The next morning they all meet at Holly's house for brunch. Josh comes in and says he found something interesting on his front doorstep this morning; a giant gift basket from Jayde. The note says many complimentary things, including saying to share it to the girls.

Claire Sinclair comes in and announces that she got Playmate of the Year. She invites them to her ceremony at the Palms. Holly interviews how great and amazing the past few months has been. Angel says Holly firing her was the best thing that could've happened to her. Laura says the past few months have been stressful, and Josh is happy to have his friends. Cue the tears as Holly looks towards the future with a VO of "kiss my skinny ass!"

That's all folks!

Real World Recap: Adam finally gets what he wants #RealWorld

2011-03-31T10:20:00.000-07:00

Previously, Adam was a loser, Mike and Heather kissed, Dustin got over it, and Heather and Dustin's relationship stopped being polite, and started getting real.

Leroy says a storm is coming between Nany and Adam. Nany and Adam head down to breakfast at Mr. Lucky's where Adam says it's hard to be himself around Nany because she has a boyfriend, and Nany smacks him down with how it's harder for her.

The cast are going to go-kart racing at Pole Position (every time they name drop I wonder if it's paid for). Mike begs the guy to give him a suit to go-kart in. Dustin VO's that the go-karts go up to 50 mph, and he's serious about winning. Naomi interviews that she rides subways and boys, not cars.

The cast takes off, and the girls wreck on the first lap. They start over, and Mike interviews that Dustin wants to be the alpha male and win. There's another wreck, and Dustin loses his shit again. Adam wins, and Dustin gets second, and he is ticked off. He is kinda acting like he's five.

Back in the suite everyone is a little drunk, and Nany says the sexual tension is rough with Adam, and she's constantly worried about her boyfriend.

Dustin is re-visiting the Heather issue. Mike interviews that he's sick of talking about the issue, and Leroy thinks they should just stick to hooking up.

Adam is skyping with his fake girlfriend, and there is talk about how every guy cheats. Later Mike brings up The Great Gatsby, and Leroy says the last book he read was Goosebumps. Nany talks on the phone with her boyfriend, then fights with him. She says there are so many things she could be doing in Vegas, but she can't, and she wonders if she's wasting her youth.

Naomi keeps saying it's her birthday, but Nany confesses to a busboy at the club that she's lying about it. Leroy macks on Naomi 'cause she's the only girl left who isn't taken.

Leroy sees Heather and Dustin kissing, and it makes him sick. In the confessional Naomi and Leroy don't approve. Mike and Adam talk about being enablers during their stay there.

Nany calls her boyfriend, and he says "Who is Sean at Vanity?" She says he's a busboy, and he freaks out on her. She hangs up on him and holds an emergency meeting, asking everyone who talked to her boyfriend last night. Dustin says he was drunk but might've talked to him. She asks if she told him about Sean, and he said he didn't even know who Sean was. Adam looks quiet and I'm thinking he did it.

Adam asks if she actually gave the guy her email, and she said yes and got defensive. Adam talks with the guys and deduces that Nany's boyfriend actually had her password, saw the email from Sean, deleted it, and then decided to blame one of the roommates. Nany calls him back and finds out that this is actually the case, and she's pissed that she's been in a relationship for 6 years with this guy, and the whole time there has been no trust.

Mike says Dustin is the peanut gallery, and he's sick of his immaturity. Nany and Naomi talk in bed about what she should do about her boyfriend. Nany says the relationship was flawed and she's still having a hard time letting go.

PBR is in town, and I'm NOT talking about Pabst. The cast has to wash down the bullriding pen in the back of HRH. Little kids ride sheep, and Adam wants to ride a bull so bad he could just die. Dustin all of a sudden needs to also ride a bull, and the other guys interview they are sort of sick of Dustin.

Adam is on the bull, and he lasts a whole 2 seconds and almost gets trampled by a bull. He loves it and wants to do it again. Dustin is impressed by the size of the bull, and lasts less than 2 seconds, and got a boo-boo out of it.

Back at the suite Dustin and Mike get into a tiff. Mike gets heated, and drops the "you obsess about a girl you barely know" bomb. Too far buddy. Little Too far.

Dustin is complaining to Heather about how the boys are ganging up on him. Heather tells him he doesn't need to prove anything to anyone, and needs to stop acting like it. Dustin throws a bit of a hissy, and Heather says he never takes anything in, which is true. Heather still likes his selfish ass anyway.

Ferrano's gets a shout out and that's where Dustin apologizes, and Mike says he doesn't want to banter. We have to then stop for a Leroy vocab lesson where Mike has to tell him what banter means, and he gets a little pissed that Mike stops using big words. Bad Mike, Bad! ;-)

Back to Vanity, where Nany is wearing the dress that Heather wore the first episode, and the girls kinda press Nany to hook up with Adam. They dance, grind, and Nany says she cares about Adam "a lot."

Nany and Adam go back to the suite, and climb into bed together. Nany asks why he fucks dirty girls, and he says because he's lonely. Leroy tries to hook up with many women on the phone as Naomi climbs into Leroy's bed. Nany and Adam are messing around in Adam's bed. Looks like Naomi and Leroy are hooking up. Mike is in the living room and tells Dustin that this is all going on, and could Dustin please go have sex with Heather so that he can say he sat in the living room while the rest of his roommates had sex? Dustin says no.

Nany/Adam and Leroy/Naomi agree not to say they hooked up with each other. Dustin answers the phone and it's Nany's boyfriend. He said she's being a good girl and not to worry, and she's asleep....while she's hooking up with Adam.

In the morning Nany is upset, she knows she has to end her relationship back home. Adam is so proud of himself, because he called it last week. He knew she'd coming crawling into his bed, and she did. Nany says she didn't come here to break up with her boyfriend over the phone, she came because she was trying to find herself. Nany calls him up and drops the bomb that she made out with Adam and slept in his bed last night. She says she needs to go through this experience on her own, and he thanks her with an angry tone, and says he never did anything to her, and said he'd never loved anybody except her, and karma's a bitch. She cries, but I think a part of it really is relief. She interviews that her whole world is changing, she goes back to her own bed and cries into commercial.

The cast goes to the final PBR event and watch some high quality bullriding. Nany is feeling better about her decision, and the girls and the boys eat separately. The talk about the night before, rehashing, and Mike is a little overexcited about the fact that he's the only one not hooking up.

Next Week: Adam wants to make Nany cry. Aaaaand I go back to hating her for hurting my Nany.

Holly's World: Josh's Mom Revealed! #HollysWorld

2011-03-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

We meet Josh's mom, and she explains how she was in a bad place and wanted Josh to have a chance, and that's why she gave him up. It's very teary, and there is no hate, only love. Even Angel gets a little upset when she thinks she might've had to give up Roman.

Holly is picking out clothes for a Life and Style magazine shoot. Jayde gets brought up again through a magazine article, and there a bit more cat fighting, and then she begins her shoot. There's a lot of candy and bikinis in the articles, and she looks great.

Josh talks about his background. American Idol, touring with Rent, and then Tarzan. He says he loves his life, and his real mom is very proud. She says "I did so good!" and high fives his adoptive mom. Adoptive Dad comes out to meet birth mom, and birth mom thanks them for raising her son. Josh feels like he's closed up a hole and feels he can move on.

Commercials for Scream 4, which now I kinda want to see.

Laura is having a steakhouse dinner birthday party, and is talking to Claire about it. Laura is still not a fan of Claire, and Claire is clueless. Mary, Hef's assistant, calls Claire and tells her she should come back to the Mansion for the weekend because Hef's son will be there, she says okay.

Josh goes and meets his sisters and his niece. Angel interviews that she is proud of Josh for comforting his sisters as they go through the issues. Holly calls and Josh updates her on all the goings on, and she's happy for him, and Josh does seem excited. The "coming up" however, tells a different story.

Josh says goodbye to his birth family, and all seems right. Holly is Skypeing with Jack, tells him about Josh and how she wants to sing in the show.

Josh is talking to his adoptive parents, and Angel excuses herself because she thinks they need time to process. Josh tells them that it's great that his birth mom appreciated all that they did for him. Josh says he is more appreciative of his parents now, seeing where he could've ended up.

Josh is back in Holly's dressing room, and he breaks down telling her what happened. Holly says it's hard to be hit with this whole other family all of a sudden and then have to leave, and she hopes he's up for the challenge.

Kinda want to try this Mio drink thing. Although it seems a little weird.

Back in Holly's dressing room Josh is still crying. He's saying that he's so glad his mom didn't decide to have an abortion, because he never would've met Holly, and this wouldn't have all happened without her. After the tears she tells him about Laura and Claire getting along, and her Life and Style photo shoot.

Next time; Josh's music video; Angel is auditioning the new show Absinthe, and Jayde Nicole is back! Maybe she finally figured out that Laura wasn't coming back to dinner at Koi.

Real World Recap: Leroy and Adam Dramas #RealWorld

2011-03-24T12:12:00.000-07:00

Heather calls her mom to open the show. She tells her mom about the whole drama that went down with the Truth or Dare kiss from last week. Heather asks Dustin to do a confessional with her. They go in and Dustin says the only reason he's upset with HER is that it's a roommate. He's more mad at Mike. Heather says she really likes Dustin, and Dustin says they'll be okay, she agrees.

Dustin talks to Mike, and tries to talk it out. Mike apologizes to Dustin after Dustin says he didn't need one, but then it's suddenly all good. Adam and Naomi go down to Vanity, Adam says he if doesn't find a hookup in an hour, he's coming home and going to bed. Back at the suite the rest of the mates talking about how they hope Adam doesn't come home all "cray cray" again. They all admit they don't know anything about this kid, and they think he's hiding something.

Naomi interviews that Adam keeps taking shots, and soon he gets kicked out for being too drunk. On the way back to the suite Adam pukes into a giant garbage can. At the suite he acts drunk and he and Mike start a conversation. Adam apologizes for eating Mike's B.L.A.T. (wtf is that?) and they get into it a little about Adam goes pretty much insane when he drinks. Adam is still a little drunk and combative, so Dustin comes in and sort of helps to break it up, says it's over for tonight.

Leroy is talking about his mom, how she is a druggie and showed up to his grandmother's house drunk. Dustin's mom is bipolar, and Heather's not had a great childhood either, but she feels like it wasn't as bad as everyone else's.

Phil, head of Marketing for the Hard Rock, talks about their internship. My boy Mike hands over his resume, which...who brings a resume to the Real World? He is just so cute. Leroy gives away his garbageman status. Phil says their first job is working with Carey Hart (Pink's baby daddy!). Phil brings up the situation with Adam, and Phil actually says Knock It Off. Phil, I love you. Can I come work for you? I can twitter like the devil, I'm telling you!

Dustin and Adam are talking about how cool Heather is, and how they can't "smoosh" (have sex) because that's playing with fire.

Back at Vanity, the whole cast is out partying. Adam asks some random girl to babysit him and teach him to dance. Leroy is pissed because he's drunk again. He complains back at the suite while Adam stumbles through the casino and to the door. Adam hears most of it, and Leroy sees him and says "Here he is now." Adam smashes his beer bottle on the floor. They get in each others face, and Adam eventually shoves Leroy. According to Real World rules, Adam should be out. But the yelling continues, and eventually Adam goes back to his room. Mike cleans up while Nany tries to talk some sense into Adam, but he has that glazed look on his face and I'm sure he's too far gone to really be understanding the situation. Regardless he tells Nany he grew up in Juvie. Then retreats and says he won't talk about this drunk.

Leroy is in confessional, and Adam knocks on the door of confessional and asks to talk, and doesn't seem to take no for an answer. Leroy opens the door and Adam tries to apologize, and Leroy said no one knows about Adam, and it eventually it leads to Leroy saying "don't consider me a friend" because they know nothing about each other.

Mike and Leroy are cleaning up the room, and Nany and Adam discusses how he got involved with a bad crowd, and there was a drug exchange that went wrong, and someone got shot. Nany makes excuses for him and says it's okay. The swept up bottle is still in a neat pile on the floor. Leroy tells Nany he asked Adam to clean it up and he said "maybe." Nany says she asked him too, but try and give him a break.

At Mr. Lucky's in HRH, Mike Adam and Dustin are talking about the confrontation. Adam is done with Leroy and should just leave him alone. Adam says he's not going to change and that is that. Mike is upset that Adam has no remorse, and I'm right there with him. I have to wonder if Adam is seeing this different side of him on the TV and having second thoughts about his attitude. When I met him, he was pretty much the same; pretty awesome when sober, but I would have no problem shutting him down if he was drunk.

The cast gets split up, and of course Leroy and Adam are in the same group working together. Adam wants to fight Leroy, and Leroy interviews that you have to work with people you don't like. During the day Adam admits to being hung over. He calls his girlfriend later, tells her he had to work with "the black kid" which really pissed me off. His girlfriend is so sadly clueless.

Dustin and Heather play pool, and Heather interviews that she wants to see where things go with them. They get in bed and start making out...and we fade into the next day where in the shower Heather admits to Naomi that she and Dustin had sex that night.

Naomi, Adam, and Leroy meet Carey Hart at the event where they are interning. Naomi complains about how the manual labor is killing her. She goes off and grabs a drink and hangs out. Adam dares someone to staple him with a staple gun like a crazy person. Naomi comes back and says she got lost, and gets yelled at. It looks like they are in the back lot behind the pool, and that can be a little confusing, but I think she just lied to get out it. They get a Carey Hart signed helmet out of their hard work.

Mike puts on the helmet and lets Dustin hit him. Later Mike tells everyone about his past, that both of his parents did drugs. Adam decides to tell him about his past too. He says he did 3 years. Mike is shocked, and Leroy is not impressed. I guess he's still mad. Mike said his whole perspective has changed of Adam.

Adam tells Leroy that he apologizes that he's gone through a rough time, but he's gonna mess up again. Leroy wants a better apology. Everyone comes over, but they tell them they'd be by later and continue to discuss how messed up it is that Adam doesn't want to have consequences for his actions. He says he has no remorse, and Leroy asks if he expects him to be cool with him after admitting to having no remorse. Leroy feels like a storm is coming, and he's packing his umbrella. I'm pretty sure he's right.

Next Week: HookUps Galore!

Guest Post: Getting Crabs and Liking It.

2011-03-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with cuisine in Las Vegas. On the love side, I am astounded by the types of food that come here from all around the world. It makes sense, too; after all Las Vegas is one of the biggest tourist destinations to be found. More importantly, it's a luxurious destination. The kind of place you want to save up a bunch of money and try all kinds of things you can't get back home.

Case in point, Crab Corner located on 4161 S. Eastern Ave. Two brothers from Maryland come rolling on in to Vegas with a passion. They serve crab. They serve crab they way they understand it, which is fresh and plentiful. It's an approach I can get behind. They have the most wonderful crab cakes because... wait for it... They're almost all crab!!! I know, weird right! One of the things that drives me nuts around here is that if you order a crab cake in most places, you get something that is mostly cornbread and onion, some whitefish, then a little crab for flavor. But these guys are crazy!! They do all crab with just enough batter to hold it together and impart some spice and a nice crust. They also do some other Maryland style sides (try the boardwalk fries with the malt vinegar) to round it out, but it's mostly about the crab.

This brings me to the hate portion. While it's great to be able to have food from all over the world within a 20 minute drive, what do we have. I can't think of anything that we could take with us if we should leave the valley for other lands. Except maybe alcohol by the yard, but I'm not so proud of that. There's not really a "Vegas style" sandwich or fries. No Vegas BBQ, no Vegas chili, no Vegas pizza. I realize that's the price we pay for living in the desert, but it still makes me a little sad. Oh well, I guess I can always cry into my bowl of Falafal, or maybe some Chicago deep dish, or Memphis BBQ, or...

-The Neon Beast, Guest Blogger

Holly's World: Nichole Visit and Josh's Mom #HollysWorld

2011-03-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

Angel and Josh come down to South Carolina to see what the big break in his missing parents case is. Angel interviews how proud of Josh she is.

Back in Vegas, Apparent Internet Sensation Nichole337 is coming to Vegas to visit Holly. She seems like she's maybe 14 years old, and about as geeky looking as they come. She posts videos of her singing pretty terribly, and Holly says she's against haters and has awesome confidence. Because she has such great confidence about herself, Holly decides to give her a makeover. Holly, do you see the issue here? She's so confident in herself, that you are inviting her to Vegas to change her. Way to Go.

Holly and Laura pick Nichole and her dad up from the airport in a limo, and while in the limo Holly starts telling her about all the Spa stuff she has picked out for her to do. Laura non-sequiters that she's going to have her butt waxed. I always knew that girl was a hairy ape. Nichole's dad says "Ummmm that sounds like fun."

Back in SC, Josh is showing off all his pictures his adoptive parents have up on the walls. His parents seem really nice, I have to wonder why he is having such an issue with being adopted. If I had parents that cool, I wouldn't go looking for the trash that left me. But that's just me.

Holly invites Nichole to draw on her wall, and says that she was just like Nichole when she was young. They sing a little song to the camera, which is pretty horrible.

In SC, Josh tells his parents that he has a meeting with his PI team, and asks if he thinks they found anything. His mom answers she's not hopeful, because the adoption records were sealed with a court order. Josh asks his mom how she would feel if she is found, and after a huge pause she said she'd be supportive, because she couldn't have children, and she got Josh. Good answer, Mom, I love ya!

After commercials it's back to Vegas where Nichole gets to go to Qua at Caesars Palace. Holly is a "makeover" expert, so she sets her up with the works. Laura asks what's up with the Makeover Madness, and Holly just said she felt like it. Well okay!

Back in SC, Josh interviews that there's always been a hole in him after finding out he was adopted. He's nervous, but goes to lunch. He asks his parents to be at the restaurant when he finds out, in case he needs them. He's awful needy. But the parents know their son, and agree to go with him.

Nichole keeps getting crap done to her, and finally comes out look....pretty much the same. Maybe it's just the way her glasses are always down around the bottom of her nose blocking any makeup they would've done. Either way, I'm not overly impressed.

Josh and Angel meet with the PI team, and they reveal that his mother worked at Piggily Wiggly. They found a co-worker of his mothers, who said that Josh looks exactly like his mother. Through that info they found his grandmother, who is still alive and she provided them with his birth mothers information. Josh cries into Angel.

Planet Hollywood the Caesars Restaurant wants Holly's prints, and Nichole tags along with her dad. Holly said she wasn't fazed by cameras and did great, and they seem to pretty much say goodbye at that point.

Back in the SC, Josh is still being emotional, and the PIs tell him that his mother really wants to meet him, and that she's nearby if he wants her to come over, right that minute. He says yes, and they place the call. She's on her way, and Josh asks for his adoptive mom. She comes up and comforts Josh, and she's crying herself. She's says "I wanna hug her neck so bad, you don't even know. She gave me a gift" and I fall just a little bit more in love with her.

Everyone is looking at the door, waiting for her to walk in and....................

Next week on Holly's World: Holly is still fat, and Josh has a heart to heart with his birth mother.

International Marketplace....of Delicious!

2011-03-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

Everyone tells me I have a weird taste in food. Even when I was a kid I didn't think anything of having pickles followed immediately by a dish of ice cream. When I first had a dolma, it was love at first taste. Ume Shiso is my favorite sushi, and there are a few places in town that give me a blank look when I try to order it. I like a lot of weird food.

Since the Neon Beast and I decided to try and eat home more often, one of my friends introduced me to International Marketplace on Trop and Decatur. As soon as we drove into the parking lot I was dubious. I would've much rather been across the street at Starbucks away from the riff-raff, but I forged ahead despite the fear of being robbed before we even got through the door. The staff was less than helpful, and more than a little creepy. In fact, they were the ones that I was afraid was gonna rob me.

After going through the first couple of rows, I had to go to the bathroom, where there was nowhere to hang my purse, and a creepy lady talking on the world's first cell phone complete with default Nokia ring tone. So far, I wasn't impressed.

But then my friend pointed out they had...wait for it...canned dolmas. Now, I've never met a dolma I didn't like, but that's because they were freshly made every time I had them. What would a canned dolma taste like? Maybe it would be like olives, in the sense that it really didn't make much difference? For a couple of bucks, I was totally up for trying it out. As we kept along through the store, there were so many things for as cheap as you could possibly make them. The small bottles of peppercinis that I'd been buying for $2 each at Wal-mart, here was around $8 for a giant tub of them. There was even fresh fish at the back, and other various seafood.

By the time we got about 2/3rds of the way around (I had just picked up a giant pack of Hello Panda cookies for Neon Beast for $5, whereas we used to get a small package for that much at World Market) when they made an announcement that they were closing in 15 minutes.

My friend and I looked at each other, shocked. We hadn't realized that we'd spent so much time in there. We checked the time and found that we hadn't spent that much time in there. As it turns out, the International Marketplace is only open until 6pm, and not even open on Sundays!

Then we got to the front to pay, and it's $10 for a yearly membership here, which is optional. But, if you don't get it, everything is about 5% more. Another downfall. But they have so many amazing things, $10 a year seems worth it for all the other downfalls of this store.

And the dolmas were perfectly good! I took Neon Beast there this week, and this was our haul (for just under $30);

The Real World; Adam Loses His Sh*t, and Dustin Too #RealWorld

2011-03-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

Credit Sequence! So excited for it! After a "Previously," They show the cast partying at Rehab at Hard Rock. They review the crushes, Heather and Dustin, and Adam/Nany.

Dustin "feels" Heathers emotions. That's not all he wants to feel either. Heather thinks they could have something unique and special, as they talk in the suite.

Dustin says Heather is a relationship girl, but he can't get into a relationship here, to Mike. In the bathroom.

Nany is on the phone with her soon-to-be-ex boyfriend. They fight, of course.

The cast parties at Vanity at HR. Nany seems to be teary, and Leroy swoops in and says dancing isn't cheating, and she should have a good time. Later on she dances with Adam, while smoking! Nany, bad girl! Give that up! It's gonna ruin your beautiful face!!!!

Later Adam is holding a bottle of Grey Goose, and a Security Guard is asking him to put down the bottle. He puts it down, and hard, smashing it on the floor. Security pushes Nany out of the way and strong-arm Adam.

After commercials Leroy brings home a chick and gets his groove on, meanwhile Adam is getting escorted back to the suite. He stumbles in like a maniac and closes the door on security. He starts slamming into things, breaking stuff all over the suite. Mike interviews that he is uncontrollable, and they try to get some water in him, but instead he walks in on Leroy getting it on. Soon all the roommates are surrounding him, and he's bumping into walls like crazy. Nany interviews that she's seen drunk people before, but this is a whole other level of crazy, and I have to agree with her. I've lived here for 6 years and there has only been 1 other time I've seen anyone as belligerent as Adam is at this very moment.

Nany gets him to lay down, and he asks "Why does Nany have to have a boyfriend?" She just asks him to stop.

The next morning Leroy says that Adam isn't going to remember a thing, and all the roommates are saying that it was a crazy night that they have to make sure doesn't happen again. They said he was kicking security guards downstairs, and that he needs to go downstairs and apologize to them.

Adam wakes up and is not apologizing for his actions. He said "This is Vegas, you think this is the first time they've ever seen this?" He's confident he won't be held accountable for his actions. He calls his "girlfriend" and tells her that he got belligerent and that the roommates are made at him. He maintains his tough guy attitude even when Nany tells him shes disappointed in him. She wonders what he's capable of.

Back at Rehab, the guys jump into the pool which apparently cold as all get out. They all go to the cabana and talk about Nany's relationship. Dustin makes a joke about his boyfriend thing, and Heather loves that he makes her laugh.

They go back to the suite and Dustin and Heather make out in bed. Heather feels like the attraction is natural and magnetic. They both are really against a relationship, but obviously it doesn't seem like they are going to stay away from each other long.

Mike and Adam are back to rehashing the night Adam went bananas. Nany answers the door and some guy is at the door for Adam. He's the security manager, and wants Adam to go to the security office to talk to the security managers boss, and two people go escort him. The roommates are worried, and Nany hopes he doesn't get kicked out.

Adam meets in a big meeting room, and basically they read him his rights, and they are totally in the right to do that. From working in a casino environment, I can tell you right now that if Adam hadn't been on a TV show, he would've been sitting in a cell, and he'd be on Las Vegas Jailhouse and not Real World. There would've been zero hesitation on securities part to call the police and have him arrested.

Adam apologizes to them, says it won't happen again, and goes back to the suite. Nany is upset he still doesn't feel the least bit sorry. "Just act normal."

Nany, Naomi, Mike, and Leroy are discussing 2012 and if they believe in it. Naomi says that Mike is so smart, and he's going to make her smarter. Mike tries to explain how we won't be able to harness electricity soon, and the glaze over everyone's eyes is just embarrassing.

Mike and Leroy are talking about Mike's grandma brought him up because both of his parents were locked up when he was 5, and his dad beat him, and he ended up living with a friend for a long time.

Roommates split up in taxis to visit Subway, and the girls talk about Dustin and Heather's non-relationship relationship. Heather emotes all over her Subway sammie. She wanted this experience to be all about her, and now she's headed down a path with Dustin.

The boys talk about playing a high stakes game of roulette, putting it on black or red for a 50/50 shot. Leroy says to Adam "I'll give you $100 to live off of if you lose. But if you win, you owe me $150." Sounds like a good deal. Mike says "This'll be the one time that it lands on green." Adam: "There's a green?!?!" Comedy gold.

Leroy and Mike get scared, and the ball rolls and lands on.....RED, Adam's color. They cash out like champs. They are lucky they don't take that money out of all the damage to the hotel that Adam's sure to do.

Nany has distanced herself from Adam, he thinks she's mad about Vanity still. Adam talks her into going to "that sushi place" with him and Mike. Mike struggles with chopsticks hilariously. Adam tells Nany he was a loser in high school, and he wasn't good at anything. He says he puts up a front, and that he's shy, and suddenly I'm flashing back to his "game" last episode. Adam thinks Nany is going to fall for his bad boy image eventually.

Everyone but Dustin is playing Truth or Dare. Leroy "truths" Heather into admitting she likes Dustin more than a friend. Nany "dares" Leroy to kiss Naomi's toes, and suck on them. Things get silly, Mike loses his pants and is dancing around in his boxers. The girls three way kiss. Leroy then dares Heather to make out with Mike. Mike says he'll buy everyone shots instead of going behind Dustin's back. Heather says it's a game we're all playing, and goes in for the kill.

They go back to the suite, and Leroy goes and wakes Dustin up, and says "Hey, we were playing truth or dare, and I dared Mike to kiss Heather, you aren't made about that, right?" Leroy, it was the other way around, and Mike didn't want to do it. It's all in the details brother! Dustin gives an indistinguishable look, and they jump cut right to Mike and Dustin playing pool together. They kinda mind meld Mike explaining how he didn't want to do it, it just happened, just truth or dare blah blah and Dustin looks crestfallen.

Dustin interviews that three people are disrespecting him at the same time. He tells Nany he feels betrayed, he feels like they were testing him. He interviews and gets more and more mad as time goes on. Heather feels like she didn't cheat on him because they weren't really seeing each other. Dustin just goes a little drama-llama in the confessional about this. He complains to Leroy, and Mike walks in and says "Look, it was a game. She doesn't like me, she likes you...just get over it."

To Dustin, this was SO the wrong answer. Of course, it doesn't help that Mike follows it up with "Get the *bleep* over it." There's a bit of drama llama over on Mike's side of this too.

Dustin gets up and Mike continues to yell "Get Over It" over and over. Dustin says he's crossing a line, and if he keeps up this track, it's pretty much going to get ugly. I didn't think I was going to side with Dustin on this one but....yeah. Mike is just approaching it all wrong. They fight, and Heather is in her room saying she doesn't want to hear anymore about this damn kiss. Mike walks out of the suite, and Dustin interviews that "Never, in the history in Everdom, had anyone disrespected me this way." AAAAnd suddenly I'm back on Mike's side.

Next Week: Adam just can't stop getting drunk and crazy. You know where that'll lead ya, right?

Holly's World: Angel's Fallout, Josh's Music Video #HollysWorld

2011-03-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

Holly is on webchat with her boyfriend, explaining last weeks fight with Jayde and Angel. Holly is worried that Angel will get in trouble because "Vegas is a small town." I just snorted a little bit when she said that.

The next morning Angel's manager is over to talk about the fight. He tells her, again, that it's a small town, and she should watch what she does. Angel does a flashback to all the Jayde business. He tells her that Jayde isn't his client, so he can't talk to her about it. She complains, and he says he has a rep to protect too, and he didn't know if he could represent her anymore.

Serendipity, Jayde and Laura are sharing what must be their yearly ice cream. Jayde makes up that she's physically hurt, has bruises, etc.

Josh's agent calls him and blows smoke up his ass about his new single, and says they want to make a music video. "That's why you're my manager" he says. Yes, because he thinks of a music video. He's a freakin' genius. Josh tells his manager about the PI team he hired to find his parents, and he's feeling confident that they'll find something.

Angel goes to a mixed martial arts place and beats up a bag. She says she's been in training with this UFC fighter for a few weeks, and it helps with her anger problem. She said she was in an abusive relationship, and got therapy for it but it still gets to her sometimes. She refuses to let anyone bully her or her friends. Ever hear of using your words, Angel Cakes?

Over at Planet Ho, Holly, Josh, and Claire are talking about Brady Bunch episodes, and that leads from superstition to Claire breaking up with Hef's son. Josh brings up that he wants everyone to be in his music video. He wants everyone to be in it, but that brings up Laura. They talk about what the deal is, and Holly said she might need to ask Laura to move out, which is what Laura said to Jayde at Serendipity.

Jayde and her bitches are gabbing about the fight, at Koi I think. Laura seemed uncomfortable that Jayde keeps talking about the fight. But not enough to actually....oh wait, she says ONE thing. "You were being kinda mean to her" Jayde says she's going to make sure she never models in Las Vegas again. Laura is beginning to see the light about how much Jayde is a bitch. Laura excuses herself to go to the bathroom and atempt to emote.

Buca di Beppo-Holly, Angel, and Josh are talking about the music video, and Holly drops the bomb that she invited Laura. Laura shows up, and it's awkward silence time. Josh asks where Jayde is, and Laura says she ditched her at Heart Bar. Everyone kisses and makes up, and gets excited for Josh's music video.

Back at Josh's condo, his phone rings and it's the PI team. They have a big break in the case, and he should fly out to Charleston as soon as possible. He said he'd take some personal days and come out. Josh tells his therapist about the break in the case, while wearing a t-shirt that says "Freak." Bold choice to wear to a therapy session. She tells him to go one day at a time and try not to freak out about it. Holly has been a big support system, so he feels supported.

Next week: Josh gets a phone call from his mother, and Holly's friend Nicole from Utah visits Holly.

Hard Rock Beginnings #RealWorldLasVegas

2011-03-10T11:53:00.000-08:00

The first recap begins! If you have missed any of my interviews with the cast, please click here to get all caught up!

The editing is quite a bit different, with flashes much like the "day after" a really wild night. Like flashes of memories that we haven't experienced yet, with dialogue that reeks of drama yet to come...it starts.

The cast gets the news that they are going to be on the new season, and that they'll be living it up in Las Vegas, Nevauuda. Note to MTV: That is pronounced so incorrectly, and it drives the natives bonkers. Please correct for future episodes or I will go mad.

First up is Nany walking through LAS. She meets up with Adam and they discuss their shared interests. Nany is attracted to Adam right away, and Adam seems the type to always have his flirt on, unconsciously. They head out of D gates together.

Mike walks into the Hard Rock and gets the shock of his life with the crazy party pit atmosphere inside. Shots of everyone else heading in follows, with a small bio from Naomi and Dustin. Mike is in the suite first, followed by Heather. Heather picks out the soon to be named "Princess Pad." Mike says he'll try anything except for going to a strip club. He's going to live by "the rule of yes."

Leroy: "They have me sharing a penthouse with a 12 year old?" Love it. It's hilarious that these guys end up being so close. Leroy wants to get naked as soon as he sees the naked lady pic near the hot tub.

The relationship question comes up, and Nany is the only one attached, she's been in the relationship for 6 years. Which means there is going to be a fun phone breakup in our future. Nany and Adam get to the Hard Rock Suite. Leroy: "Nany has a boyfriend. That's like a dagger, straight to the heart." He's going to be the one-liner king, I can already tell.

They stagger the entrance of Dustin, because in the beginning he was the most controversial. Heather already is attracted to him.

Commercials!

Dustin says he wants to stay away from Heather, because hooking up with a roommate is a big no no. Nany talks to her boyfriend on the phone, he postures that he has nothing to worry about and will kick ass when he gets there. Oh man, that means that there might be an on-camera breakup. This is going to be awesome!

Heather: "We're gonna rock the Hard Rock hard!"

They go out to eat first, at what looks like Pink Taco. They play "Never have I ever" and Dustin loses big time. He's a promiscuous little bugger. He reveals to the viewing audience that he was on a web cam show called Frat Pad. It was just a job for him...or so he says. He's scared of being judged by the other roommates.

Commercials!

They leave the Hard Rock and go to...of all places, Blue Martini. Home of the bazillions of martinis and horrible service. They party appropriately, Adam hits on Nany, she looks uncomfortable. Mike talks to Nany about boundaries, she says she knows not to cross them. Adam says "I'm serious, I'll marry you right now" to a girl at the club. If I had a nickel every time that happened...

The guys bring skanks home to the hot tub and the making out commences, leads to most likely some more. But this ain't Frat Pad, so we only see a PG-13 version. After skanks leave, drunk Adam harasses Nany.

Nany and Naomi have a heart to heart about her relationship with her boyfriend. Nany gets a little emotional, but it's a good talk. Cut to Rehab, but Nany and Adam are eating alone. He says he "has no game" and is so attracted to her, and gets shy around good-looking girls. Nany calls shenanigans a little bit, and I'm glad she can see through him a little bit.

Dustin continues to talk about how cute Heather is, but how he needs to stay away. A little heavy on the spoilers show! They talk about how they aren't "Bertha" big, which sounds like they are making fun of fat people, but really they are referencing a statue they named Bertha in the main dining room.

Nany talks to her boyfriend about how someone is attracted to her, and he gets angry right off the bat. The roommates get ready to go out and club. Mike gets some girls upstairs, but then bores them with bible passages or something. They hustle over to the hot tub. Adam makes plans with a girl for a date later.

Dustin and Mike have a morality conversation in the kitchen. Dustin wants to corrupt him. Nany complains at lunch about how back and forth Adam is. Meanwhile, Adam is giving the same song and dance to another girl he's on a date with.

More partying. It's already getting old. Dustin wants to hook up with Heather. Which is already getting old. Come on Editors, this is ALL you had to work with, really? How many times did you actually interview them about this? And how long has this been? Is this their first week? Their first two days?

Adam says he knows that Nany and her boyfriend will break up while they are in Vegas, and he'll be there to pick up the pieces.

The preview for the season talks pregnancy tests, trashing the suite, and major drama between the guys.

Holly's World: Fake as the day is long #HollysWorld

2011-03-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

If you follow Holly Madison on Twitter, she insists all the time that her life really is this crazy, and that none of it what so ever is staged.

When I replied to her "If it is all un-staged, then why was there a cameraman when Jayde first called Laura to ask her to her photo shoot a few weeks ago? Of course, I received no response to my inquiry.

Then there is this (for the non-twitter users, read from the bottom up):

Holly is talking about a show where some random D-List celebrity is trying to start a music career, and she cries as she explains to the choreographer that she "isn't 100 pounds anymore."

If I may; being upset about your weight is far different from someone telling you that you should lose weight and being shocked by that fact. At least this other girl seems concerned and not flabbergasted. Also...this isn't an original concept, someone being a dancer in a show and told to lose weight. It's nearly as old as time itself, this story. Holly's World is hardly the first time that this has happened on TV, either.

If Holly's World was indeed truly reality, wouldn't she be understanding about that happening to another person instead of judgmental? And if it was reality, why would Josh be commenting about the "bad acting" coming from the other show, if they were also, in fact, acting.

Then there is this week's episode where the photo shoot just happens to include 3 cast members, without any of them knowing about it. There is no way that wasn't manipulated by either the show producers, or Holly herself.

I just wish that Holly and her cast mates would come clean that some of the show is scripted. Mostly because they are doing a horrible job of hiding it.

Holly's World: Wow, Jayde's continuing to be a bitch. Shocker. #HollysWorld

2011-03-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

Dave the Delivery man comes up the Planet Ho hallway with a comically long box. They are bunkbeds for Holly's suite. She's inviting Claire Sinclair to come stay with her and Laura. Laura doesn't seem pleased, but when does she? Laura thinks Clair is weird and talkative. Just because she knows words, Laura...

Claire is going to Holly's house for the first time, and Holly's manager calls and offers her a club opening, but she passes it onto Angel.

Laura is snarking about Claire to Jayde, saying she's afraid of pickles so she's going to put pickles in her bed, while they work out at Anytime Fitness. Jayde invites Laura to do a photoshoot with her.

Claire gets shown around Cribs Style, and Holly tells Angel about her new bunny costume gig. She's super excited, and gets to the shoot, only to find out that Jayde and Laura are also there. Yeah, this isn't staged at ALL.

Holly and Josh go to meet with some private investigators to find his birth parents. They are a husband/wife team that seems like they'd be really great friends with Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Angel is slowly losing her mind at the photo shoot as Jayde and Laura talk over her about inane stuff. Jayde leaves to change, and Angel and Laura get into it about how Jayde's a super-skank. "It's work" is Laura's ultimate answer to everything. I bet she tells all her John's that too.

Josh tells PI team some information that he knows about his parents, and they cheer for a hopeful end to his adoptive story.

The shoot begins! Both Jayde and Angel think they are the center of attention at the shoot, Jayde actually snaps at Angel like she's the actual server. Jayde brings up that Angel was fired, she tries to keep her cool. After a comment about how Angel wasn't doing the "bunny dip" correctly, Angel finally lost her shit and threw a drink in Jayde's face. Sadly, Angel doesn't have great aim, and it sort of ended up just in part of her hair. Angel stormed off, but not after yelling (awesomely) "Why don't you go back to Canada?"

Angel's makeup artist came to see if she was okay, but she just asked to be left alone, then unzipped and walked out. She's worried that she's going to give Holly a bad name by acting bad at the photo shoot. Laura comes and tells Josh, Claire, and Holly what happened. Josh acts Laura why she didn't stick up for Angel, which leads to a fight, and Laura walks out.

Next Week: Josh gets a big lead in his search, Laura doesn't want to be involved in other people's drama, and Angel gets dropped by her manager over the whole "drink in the face" issue.

The Smile Squad=Yum

2011-03-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

The Hostess Twinkie has had a monopoly long enough, don't you think? Well, Little Debbie certainly feels so, and is now selling "Cloud Cakes" and you can taste them TODAY!

Today they will be at the Galleria at Sunset, but don't worry, it's not the only chance you'll get. They are just getting started, and you can keep up with them on Twitter @SmileSquad or "Like" them on Facebook! You can also get coupons and discounts from them there, so make sure to go. They are trying to get to a million likes, so please check them out and taste a delicious Cloud Cake!

Dustin Zito, @DustinZito MTV Press Day Interview #RealWorld

2011-03-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

Dustin Dustin Dustin. He was such a tough egg to crack. On the outside, he seemed genuinely personal-able with a great southern gentleman quality. His good looks and charm could easily win anyone over initially.

Even when they get to know him, he seems charming. He's easy to fall in love, as his friends say, and it's the friends that really see what you are all about. As the interwebs prove, however, he was naked on a web site, and maybe more. People have called it "gay porn" but there is no concrete proof yet as to exactly what it was. In previews, Heather says "you had sex, and it was on the internet!" So I'm sure it's a little true, but only time will tell on that.

But there is something more to this guy, and I can't tell which it is. Maybe it's that under all that charm, he's a little arrogant. He's competitive and a little controlling, and willing to do something underhanded if it gets him what he wants. Or, maybe under all that, he's a little unsure of who he really is, and having trouble finding himself.

I interviewed him after the Real World was over, so maybe it was something that happened in the suite that mad him uncertain of who he was. My first few years in Vegas got me to do things that I would never think of doing back home, so I can see it happening. I'm very interested to see how he'll be portrayed this season, and to make crack him open and see what's really inside.

Tweet of the week/New Guest Blogger!

2011-03-03T21:57:00.000-08:00

Ever since the inception of Vegas Seven magazine's "Tweets of the Week" I wanted to be funny enough to be listed one week. This week was, apparently, my week. Sadly...I think I've tweeted funnier things. But hey, isn't that always the way of it? I thought that it was the Tweets of the Week in the sense that it was the funniest of the past week. But, my tweet was so old I can't even find it to post a screen capture.

In other news, we have a new guest blogger in our midst! The Neon Beast is already up and tweeting, and will be posting his first guest blog next week. He's my soulmate and my best friend, and I hope you like his writing! We had gone out to eat, and were talking about the place. He was saying some interesting things about the place, so I said "Why don't YOU blog about it?" And so he joined up on twitter and the rest will soon be history.

Heather Marter, @heathermarter Press Day Interview #RealWorld

2011-03-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

I really did leave the 2 hardest for last. My last interview of the day was with Heather and Dustin, and we were near the end of the day for them as well. I think it was a case of exhaustion by the time we got around to them. But they did put up a good front of happiness to be interviewed.

In the first episode Heather says that if she could, she would live in a bikini. Even though I'm not with her in the literal sense, (no one wants to see me in a bikini right now) I'm totally with her in spirit. I love the weather to be warm and the beach to be close by at all times. Sometimes living in Las Vegas makes me want to jump on the 15 and not stop until I see beach.

When she enters the Suite she reveals that she is single, and she wants to stay that way. It's nice to know that the editors of Real World still know how to work in that foreshadowing, because the electricity between the two of them during the interview was totally obvious. That and Dustin is also on the first episode as saying he doesn't want to hook up with a roommate. It just writes itself!

Heather seems so sweet in person, and we share a love of behind the camera stuff. She said she had a hard time not interacting with the camera people because she always wanted to know what was going on. Even though I feel like I want to protect Nany from the world, Heather seems like the kind of girl that if something did happen, my first thought would be "Oh, she's gonna get you!!!!"

MTV Info tells me she was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning at 14 years old, as a result of family problems at home. She experienced a lot of guilt about the situation at home, which I think accounts for a little bit of her shyness when meeting people. She hopes to become a talk show host, and she's already back in school to continue her degree in communications and Information Technology at Monmouth University.

Though I loved all the girls, she is the one I'd like to get to know better, and I really hope she and Dustin don't hook up right away so we can see more of her being herself, instead of her being in a relationship. I do wish them the best though, don't get me wrong!

Castle of Cakes Cupcake Class!

2011-02-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

Last week I used my Groupon for a Cupcake decorating class at Castle of Cakes. I drove right by it because I didn't expect it to be in the world's smallest strip mall. It turns out they just moved there a few months ago, and don't even have a sign on the building yet.

Sonya Washington is the owner of Castle of Cakes. She started out making a party for her son 29 years ago (though she doesn't quite seem old enough for that to be possible) and turned it into a business. She's been in Vegas for about 10 years now, and she has many levels of classes for decorating cupcakes.

Being a complete n00b, I started out with "Cupcakes I," the most bottom of all cupcake classes. She showed us how to fill up the bags properly, and the difference between the different tips and how they make different designs. Even though the class was 3 hours long, I feel like I've only scratched the surface of all that I can do with the tools we learned about. Sonya was very helpful and patient with the class, which I'm sure is hard to do for someone who is so far advanced. She "dumbed it down" for us perfectly, and I really felt like I learned a lot.

We did a couple of different types of cupcakes, including a 3-D cupcake we made into a shoe. That one was pretty labor intensive, but I was pretty proud of my results, even though she pointed out I had done a pretty sloppy job. I got bored, okay? Obviously I'm not cut out for this kind of stuff, but now I know if I have a gun to my head, I can make an elephant cupcake.

She's still a struggling business, so friend her on Facebook and consider taking a class. Even if you suck, you won't regret it!

My Results:

@MikeRossMTV Michael Ross Press Day Interview

2011-02-24T11:00:00.000-08:00

"I've decided while I'm here, I'm going by the rule of 'yes'" is my favorite quote of the first episode, spoken by Mike. He's from College Park, MD, where his checkered past seems to not even remotely affect how his personality is.

His bio reads "At first glance, he may seem like a typical small-town guy, however, Mike's background is anything but typical."

You can say that again. Michael Ross greets everyone with a winning smile and a seeming heart of gold. If I hadn't read his bio, I would guess he grew up in Iowa, corn-fed and without a care in the world. His spirit just seems so light and positive, and he couldn't stop talking about how Leroy could do anything he put his mind to. Of course it's not often we do interviews with our friends, but he just shined when he was talking about Leroy. He's the kind of friend you wish you had like 5 of so you'd always feel good about yourself.

His parents were heavily involved in drugs, and he was mostly raised by his grandmother after some terrible events. He has 7 half-siblings and put himself through college at the U of Maryland where he was a dual major. For all that, he seems really positive and and all-around awesome guy to hang around. Let's see if this Real World season corrupts a little bit.

Respect for @VegasCourtesan , and my take on Prostitution

2011-02-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

If there is anything I hate, it's a coward and a manipulator. This tweeter, who apparently started an account just to communicate with prostitutes (his last tweet that wasn't an @reply was to wish everyone a happy new year), also likes to do anything to also get their attention. He linked Vegas Courtesan to my blog on the Sexual Palate Cleanser making it seem like I was trying to single-handily kill the escort business.

First of all, I don't have enough readers to bring down the entire escort business. Even if I did, there is nothing in this world that will kill the escort business. If I was trying to do that, then why do I link to her blog on my own? I figured this was the perfect opportunity to state my opinion on prostitution, since I'm being misrepresented by someone who lacks the courage to not put a space between the @ and my twitter name to avoid implication.

I'm sure Vegas Courtesan knows that the post this guy linked to is a completely separate issue. Even though I am for prostitution, I would personally never feel comfortable knowing that someone is only having sex with me because I paid them. My friend is also such a person, and the post itself was meant as a joke. I joked to him that he needed a palate cleanser to rid himself of the last toxic person he'd slept with. He even suggested that it would be a funny blog post and encouraged me to write it.

If the showgirls all over my blog are any indication, I am, in fact, a woman. I am a woman that believes in women's rights, and that is all across the board. This doesn't mean I'm a man-hater, or any other horrible word you want to throw at me. Simply put, I am from the "Don't tell me what to do with my body" style of thinking. This applies to abortion as well as prostitution. No one should ever tell me what I can and can't do with my body. This also doesn't mean that I'm going to go out and get an abortion or start a life of prostitution, but I'm also not going to condemn anyone that does.

I don't agree with Harry Reid that ridding the state of prostitution would create jobs. In fact, I feel the opposite. Legalizing prostitution would give us the chance to regulate it and make it safer for girls such as Vegas Courtesan. I disagree with the way it's done now, where a girl has to put herself out there not only sexually, but also fear for her life every time. If it was made legal, every girl could go out with a bodyguard who would be close by, thus creating jobs. Especially in Vegas, where there is obviously a market for it, I think it needs to being legalized.

I also think being an asshole on twitter needs to be outlawed. BTW, if he ever does read this: Is "silverback" like the male cougar?

Holly's World: Jayde's still a bitch #HollysWorld

2011-02-22T10:17:00.000-08:00

Well, I have no idea why, but there was a new episode of Holly's World on last night! Here we got again!

Anytime Fitness gets a shout out this episode as Laura, Angel, and Holly go to work out, even though just last episode Laura was saying that Holly never works out. They hop on the treadmills and Laura interviews that Holly should be in shape, considering that she shows her goods to an audience nightly, and no one wants to see a fat person. No one wants to see dumb either sweetie, but your mug is still all over this episode.

They get comical with the workout, Laura trying to push Holly, and Angel telling Holly to take it easy. Holly regurgitates the whole "my butt has to jiggle or I'm not doing the dance move right" line. Butts will always giggle, unless you lose like 50 pounds, girl. But then you'll be dead.

Josh is in studio recording songs for an upcoming album, and interviews inside of the Tao restaurant, which I found strange. But, I'm glad he's doing a CD and getting himself out there, 'cause he's an awesome singer.

Laura and Angel are tanning in Holly's backyard, Angel is talking about what she's going to do next, and Laura says she should work in an office (which, by the way, is her job just being a bitch on this show or what? What does she do?), which Angel agrees with. Laura gets a call from Jayde about a modeling job, and Laura agrees to come. Angel kinda flips out on her and asks why she's associating with her, and Laura basically blows her off.

Holly comes to visit Josh in the studio, and they talk her into doing background vocals for a track they are working on. Josh is excited for the album to drop.

Jayde explains to Laura the company that she runs that basically sounds like a site that does both everything and nothing. Obviously the concept flies right over Laura head, but she says she'll think about it, then snoops around the set for the rest of the day. She talks to the other girls who also have no idea what they are there for. Laura thinks that everyone is jealous of Jayde because she's hot, but is also quick to add that she's not as hot as herself.

Holly goes to UFC headquarters to talk with Dana White about designing some workout clothes because she wants something she likes to work out in. Because apparently that's what's stopping her from working out is clothes.

Back at Jayde's shady photo shoot, she asks Laura what it's like to live with Holly, and she says she doesn't see her much because she "goes to bed really early." Now, I'm not sure if Laura is lying on purpose, but Holly has late shows a majority of the week, so she really doesn't go to bed early. It's impossible. Jayde wants to take Holly out and get her rip-roaring drunk. Laura likes Jayde because she is starting trouble, which is what Laura loves.

Buca di Beppo is the next name dropper location where Sophia (A peepshow cast member) and the usual suspects meet for dinner. Laura tells them what she observed, and Holly says she better be careful around Jayde, and Laura again blows her off.

Everyone goes with Josh to the studio, sans Laura, to celebrate Josh's EP. They start without Laura, but then Laura walks in...with Jayde in tow. Again I have to say, Laura; worst friend ever. Angel was furious and wanted to walk out, but it was Josh's day, so she stayed. Laura thinks Angel is being the bigger bitch, which she is at this specific moment, but the long run is the point. Jayde insults Holly's singing, then she and Laura leave to "go to hell in a hand basket." If only.

As soon as they leave (after only one song?) Josh says "Who invited her?" Holly asks if Josh invited her, to which he says absolutely not. They are all on edge about it.

Next week: Jayde finally gets what she deserves; a drink thrown in her face. Also Josh wants to find his birth parents, and Angel gets a photoshoot...with Jayde and Laura.

Holly's World; Angel is fired! #HollysWorld

2011-02-21T10:15:00.000-08:00

They start right out with Holly demanding all the things she needs from Angel, and Angel getting a little flustered with all the things she needs.

Holly meets with Steve, her PR guy, about something she's doing with Runway.

Angel loses her list of things Holly wants, so she wings it all over Las Vegas. Steve talks to Holly about how scatterbrained Angel is, and how Angel needs to do her own thing, and how Holly should fire Angel.

Laura and Josh go into the horrible Patty's closet to look for clothes for Laura, and Laura gets a call from Jayde to come and hang out at Koi for drinks and "catch up." Laura wonders if Holly will mind, but she does love to drink. Friendship obviously runs deep with her.

Angel tells Holly she sort of forgot almost everything on the list. That, apparently, puts her over the edge and she fires Angel. Angel is a little upset, wondering if she wants to move out. Holly says no, but then runs out.

After the commercial break, Angel is really hurt over the whole "my best friend fired me" thing. Angel doesn't have anything lined up, and it's a big bomb to drop. Holly offers to get her headshots and get her on her way. I'm sure it made her feel a little better, but it still hurts to be fired by your best friend.

Josh goes to his new therapist, and he says his mind keeps churning with thoughts. He's worried about being fired, he's afraid of "the end" of something. The therapist thinks he feels like he won't be accepted for who he is.

Angel gets her boobs cold and does some headshots with tons of different outfits. I'm not sure what she hopes to be going for in Vegas, unless Jubilee has an opening or something.

Jayde waits for Laura to show up, and calls her "the nice one" which shows how much she knows. She wants to help Laura 'get her edge back' from being boring and hanging out with Holly.

Laura throws Holly under the bus and says she never works out, giving Jayde all the ammo she needs to be even more rude to Holly. After the break Laura brings up the Josh/Jayde kiss, and Jayde says basically whenever her and Josh get together they make out. Which is once.

Angel, Claire, Laura and Josh look at the prints Holly has on her iPad of Angel's photoshoot. Laura brings up Jayde and says she hung out with her that afternoon, and Angel is not okay with it. Josh sticks up for Jayde, saying she's not that bad, but Holly says she needs to have a talk with Laura about not hanging out with Jayde.

Next Week, Jayde wants Holly shitfaced. Somehow I don't see that happening!

The Sexual Palate Cleanser

2011-02-18T10:15:00.000-08:00

A couple of my friends complain that Vegas it's just too hard to meet people. I was lucky enough to come to Vegas already married, so I never had to negotiate the dating scene. But I can see how hard it would be; most single people I've come across want only what is on the outside, and are looking for all the wrong things on the inside.

A friend of mine worked a show last week as a model, and said "If I ever become a model, shoot me." All the male models he worked with were totally full of themselves, and talked non-stop about how they don't understand how they can't find a "worthy" girl to have a relationship with.

One of my guy friends hasn't been in a relationship in awhile. In fact, the last relationship...let's just say, left a bad taste in his mouth. I suggested to him that he needed some sort of sexual palate cleanser, in order to move on to another relationship. Then I thought, you know, there is eHarmony, Plenty Of Fish, and Match. Why can't there be a website for people that need something physical in order to move on? I know they have options for flings on those sites, but they it's like you are in room and everyone knows you are the dirty one, and who wants that? This way everyone on the site will know that's what you are there for, and everyone gets what they want: A fresh sexual palate in order to move on.

Especially in Vegas, I think there is a real market for this. Think about it; you slept with all the wrong people on vacation. You have a hangover. Instead of calling an illegal prostitute, you log on, find someone who needs the same thing, and boom! Your cleansed and ready to go back to wherever you came from.

Come on, you know the tourists will go for it.

@NaomiMTV Press Day Interview

2011-02-16T10:14:00.000-08:00

Naomi pulls you into her whirlwind as soon as you meet her. She's a big personality that you either accept or run away from. She's loud and opinionated, but at the same time she's real and honest, so you can't even hold it against her. Photographs don't really do her enough justice I feel, she is really pretty. She's got the kind of hair she can literally do anything with and it looks fabulous. Her body might be super tiny (she's my height, around 5'3") but it looks fantastic. She says "on blast" a lot, and for some reason it made me laugh, because I've just never really heard anyone say "out in the open" quite like that.

She's almost that girl that all the shy girl's wish they could be. In that way I think I sort of understand the great friendship that blossomed with Nany, they compliment each other very nicely. The first episode doesn't really showcase Naomi the way that she is, so I'm hoping she gets more screentime as the season goes on.

"We got so used to the cameras, by the 3rd or 4th day we barely noticed them. They were also really good at keeping their distance"

"Overall we all really love each other, but a lot of stuff went down. One week we'd think it couldn't get any worse, then the next week would blow us out of the water."

She says all the different backgrounds made for the most interesting time. There was a rule in the house that they always be open and honest with each other, and that made it so that they are all still friends now.

She's a tiny little firecracker, and I can't wait to see what she gets into this season.

@NanyMTV Press Day Interview (re-post for updated twitter name)

2011-02-15T11:35:00.000-08:00

As I said before, the interviews were done in pairs, and it was so hard to parse Naomi from Nany because, in reviewing my tape, we basically all just talked over each other the whole time. Such is the case with girls sometimes, and I don't think it was the kind of talking over that was disrespectful, but just because we were all able to keep up with each other, so we went with it.

Nany is from Jamestown, NY where she went to community college and basically has never lived with anyone but her parents, so living with roommates was new to her. She's just as attractive in person as she is in pictures and on the show, but something the TV doesn't show (as of the first episode anyway) is how sweet she actually is. I want to call it a naive, but that's not the right word. She seems the type of girl that everyone would want for a friend, and would want to protect.

In the first episode we learn she has left a boyfriend behind for the experience, but they are still together when the season starts. However, we see her kissing both Heather and Adam in the trailer, so I'm thinking the relationship might be pretty much over by now.

She says she loved being in Vegas, and missed it in-between the end of the season and press day (about two weeks) "Every last one of us has something we brought to the table this season" She says.

"At the end the day you are so nervous, I don't know if I want to do this, what about people back home? But you know what? If I have to say something that might hurt someone in the end, but it has to be said, it has to be said. That's what I'm going through in the end, and it's the truth."

Knowing from the trailer that she kisses Adam, I almost feel like I should be going back in time and protecting her. Not to say anything bad towards Adam, he's his own brand, but Nany has that quality about her where you just want to be her friend and protect her from any potential bad that might happen to her.

Naomi and Nany have plans to move back to Vegas sometime this or next year, and they seem like awesome enough people I hope they look me up when they make it back here.

Holly's World: Claire's Debut!

2011-02-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Right out of the gate Holly is calling Hef to apologize for the bad press that happened after she gave interviews that sounded less than enthusiastic about his impending nuptials. After making it sound like this was the big deal this week, they certainly got it over with very fast.

Angel is glad they got things out in the open, and they laugh it off and then mess with little Roman's head by asking him to identify various identical blondes.

Josh is off to the therapist...s. 3 different ones to decide which one is right for him. Psych #1 gets the backstory, and says that anxiety is normal, and he's not crazy. Then says she watches Russell Simons and he needs to take time out to meditate. Josh likes her, and she does seem to have some "spunk," maybe too much for Josh.

Claire Sinclair (sorry, misspelled her name previously!) is doing the Crazy Horse Show at MGM. Angel says the lead in Crazy Horse usually doesn't do much, and she seemed nervous but okay. Holly wanted to give her pointers to make her better.

Psych #2 wants to go way back to Josh's adoption, and he brings up he wants to know where he's come from. Josh likes his method and he's "intrigued."

Holly gives Claire Sinclair some pointers, telling her to treat the couch like a boy. Then she drops the bomb that Hef and Crystal will be there tomorrow at her debut.

Side Note: commercial for OK! Mag says that Kendra is knocked up? I had no idea, Congrats! It's hard to do that when you are having a long distance relationship!

Psych #3 Josh is hoping is the best, because he didn't connect with the first 2. She asks if he was always anxious. He's 27, so she blames a quarter-life crisis. She seems someone he connected with, and she does seem nice. She has a sign on her door that says "What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail?" It's a great question! If I get any crazier, I'll have to use her!

Holly meets Hef at the airport to catch up. Crystal is there, and it gets awkward really fast. Holly does a nervous laugh and they edit through a very long awkward silence. They have a small talk with Mary, Hef's adorable assistant, then decide to meet up at the show.

There is a lot of press for Crazy Horse, more than I'm sure the opening of the show did. Claire is dating one of Hef's sons, and he is pretty adorable. Claire mentions that if she and Hef's son got married, and she had gotten married to Hef, that would've made Holly her step-mom. She didn't hesitate to add that it would've been awesome, she would've loved having her as a step-mom. I know it was supposed to be a cute remark, but that nails the old and the single home for poor Holly, it had to hurt quite a bit.

Crazy Horse starts, with a full house, and Claire seems a lot better with an audience, and Holly agrees with me. I really need to see this show at some point. Angel interviews that she loves being on stage, and watching Claire reminded her of that. After the show Josh and Holly had to book it "across the street" as Holly says, because their show is about to start.

The night after Claire went to see Peepshow and had a "Crazy Horse Secret" that she doesn't share with Josh and Holly; something about how Crazy Horse girls where something they wear makes them all "look like they have the same vagina" Creepy.

Next week; Angel can't focus, Josh keeps making out with Jade, and more!

@RoyLee25 Leroy Garrett Press Day Interview

2011-02-11T10:23:00.000-08:00

I asked the cast who wanted to be next in my interview, and got this back from Leroy;

And indeed, it's Leroy's World. Everyone says that Real World is about hooking up and enjoying the time you have, and Leroy seems to have a degree in it. The first episode shows how his job was a garbage man! I can't imagine what a crazy job that would be.

On the day of the interview, he seemed very quiet and reserved though. I think the questions he'd been asked during the course of Press day had been sort of bringing him down. I think because he there was a silence order on the season, everyone was asking about where he's come from, and where he's going after this, and he's not quite sure. He mentioned being older than anyone in the cast (25), and I think I sensed a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I remember 25 being a really hard age, and sometimes I still feel like I'm not sure where my life is going. 25 seemed to be the age where I remember having the crashing realization that I wasn't a kid anymore, and should be "acting" a certain way. Vegas didn't help, with it's raging parties and 22 year olds that haven't a care in the world surrounding me.

Michael was quick to come to Leroy's defense, saying that he can do anything he sets his mind to. Their friendship seemed to come from a solid place, and I'll get into a little more into that in Micheal's interview.

I really hope he "finds his bliss," even if that ends up being club openings here in Vegas. Out of everyone I hope he can parlay this experience into something fun and profitable for him.

At the very least, you know he got some major tail while he was here. ;-)

Molested in the Casino

2011-02-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

It was all a setup. We were in the middle of the casino when my friend jumped as the Chippendale dancer grabbed her ass as he walked by. He'd come out of nowhere and shocked all of us. Before we knew what was happening, we were surrounded by Half naked men with cheesy bow-ties. We were dazed, and for a moment it felt like I was looking at myself out of my body.

"Hey, you fine girls are coming to take a picture with us" Faceless Chippendale 1 said. Suddenly out of the woodwork I saw a photographer with a backdrop wheeling out behind her.

My friend looked at me with a confused look as a Chippendale led her by the wrist and said "What the hell is going on?" I smiled weakly and replied "I think they are trying to screw us for money."

And we weren't even in the showroom yet!

I reluctantly stepped into the picture. Faceless Chippendale 2 pulled me to him, and said "Hey there, let's make this picture good. Grab my chest, grab my stomach, grab my package."

Trust me, I can't make this shit up.

I said "Your package?!?!" I automatically looked up at him with my best "What the Fuck?" look.

Flash.

Nice to know that somewhere out there is a picture of me giving a disapproving look to a Chippendale.

@AdamRoyerMTV Press Day Interview

2011-02-07T10:26:00.000-08:00

Michael Adam Royer was my first interview on Press Day. I was so nervous, I had flashcards and an old tape recorder and was most certain I'd be asked to leave because I was so unprofessional.

Adam set the tone for the whole day, and he set me at ease right away. It was more of a fun conversation than an interview, and all the reservations I had just melted away.

The only thing I'd been able to find on the internet about him was that he was put in Juvy for his involvement in a shooting. I also had heard he'd been kicked out after just under a month of filming. Of course he couldn't talk about anything that happened during filming, so we had to skim over the kicking out.

He was wearing exactly the outfit he has on in the picture to the right. I have to point out that pictures don't quite do him justice, in person he has a very attractive quality that I do think shines through in the show (BTW thanks MTV for the first episode so I say this and not be blowing smoke!)

"I learn from every mistake I do, and I never regret it." He said he was shocked at how only three weeks after he found out he was going to be on the show, it was all over the internet. "If you check the blogs, there's stuff I barely knew about myself on there."

"I'm sure there's going to be a lot of shit on TV that I'm like 'fuck, I shouldn't have done that' but it'll make me stronger in the end."

He told a great story of how one of his friends came to visit him during the show, and lost a camera one of the nights he was here. Adam's friend told him to just call production and ask them to check where he had lost it. Adam tried to explain that they don't talk to them, it's not the way the process works, but his friend insisted. Adam approached production and said his friend lost a camera. Production basically said "so?" It's nice to know that it's still a genuine experience from their part.

He laughs when some people ask him if the show is scripted. He said "no matter what happened, they just kept rolling cameras." He said they don't even get involved in trying to stir things up, they just let it all happen.

"I want my own TV Show" He says. His life is so full of drama he often wonders why he doesn't have cameras on him 24/7. It's his long term goal after the show, and he has the most personality to pull it off.

He revealed that the guys had the most drama in the house, but for the most part he gets along with everyone now. I know from watching the trailer that there is property damage for sure! I can't wait to see how long he lasts and how it all goes down!

Leave a comment below and tell me what roommate you want to see my in-dept interview on next! Leroy, Dustin, Michael, Heather, Nany or Naomi?

El Machino es Muerta?

2011-02-04T10:35:00.000-08:00

Last week the husband and I found ourselves on the Hendo side of the valley, and decided to head over to the Galleria for lunch. We looked at the menu at Red Robin, but decided instead to go across the hall to Chevy's.

Big Mistake.

First of all, did you know they got rid of El Machino? They have like, this thing that looks exactly like the thing they heat up tortilla's with at Chipotle (which I'm not knocking by the way, I LOVE Chipotle). They still advertise all over the walls and on the menu, but El Machino is gone.

Then our waitress came over. She looked my husband right in the eye and said "Welcome Senior, what can I get you to drink today?"

My husband looked over at me, and I said "I'd like a water please." Her eyes never wavered from my husband, she continued to look at him as he answered with a diet coke. She scribbled and walked away.

I turned to my husband and said "I'm your imaginary wife, aren't I? I don't really exist!" He responded "It certainly appears that way, doesn't it? I wonder what that was all about."

It happened again with the deciding of the appetizer. My husband and I had a small conversation about what to order, and the whole time she just stared at my husband, continuing to call him "Senior." Throughout the entire meal, she was refreshing his drink, (never looking at mine) asking him how "his" food was (not even 'the' food to include me), even making hand gestures to him as if he was dining alone.

Now, this woman was Hispanic, but before you go saying it's a culture thing, her English was too good for her to not have been in this country for most of her life. She barely even had an accent anymore. For all I know, she could've been born here and was just faking an accent to add some flavor to her day. But she continued to speak only to my husband as if I wasn't even there. She even went so far as to set the check not between us, but on the side furthest away from me.

Unfortunately for her, I was paying for this meal. My husband handed the check over, and I put in my credit card. She didn't pick it up for a long time, despite only have two other tables to deal with. For a minute we were worried that my credit card was invisible too, but she finally picked it up.

My husband and I started taking bets as how she would be returning it. Would she even bother to look and see that it was a girl's name on the card? Or would she continue the charade?

She did set the check back between us, saying "Thank you for coming, Senior; we hope to be seeing you again soon." and walked away without a second glance towards me.

This is the first and only time I've ever tipped 10% in my life. It took everything I had not to stiff her completely.

Real World Las Vegas; Meet the 25th Season Cast of Vegas! (I Did!)

2011-02-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

Early last month I got to meet the new cast of The Real World, which was filmed here in Las Vegas late last year. Right away I'd like to thank MTV for this opportunity, because I've been a fan of Real World since before I was eligible to be part of the cast. Now that I'm past the age of eligibility, this will be as close as I will get to being a part of it, and it was an awesome experience.

I was sworn to secrecy until this date, but the cast is sworn for far longer. Therefore, sadly, I don't have any fantastic scoops for what's in store this season. I can really only say that they all seemed well rehearsed, as if they had been prepped on what to say. I was worried about getting them to talk, preparing all sorts of questions, but in the end I never took out a single note-card to ask a question. It was more of a conversation than an interview, which was really nice. So, it's time to meet the cast!

Dustin Zito- For the interviews they had him paired up with Heather Marter in the living room, in a fantastic semi-circled couch. Dustin seemed to be the kind of guy who seemed very open, but was actually heavily guarded.

Heather Marter-She has very small features and is very pretty and soft-spoken. She seems to be more into the back end of the experience, but she and Dustin seemed very cozy, and I suspect they are a couple now.

Heather Cooke-the missing roommate was not present at the press day. In fact, she wasn't spoken of or mentioned by anyone at all. Interwebs are buzzing and saying she replaces Micheal Adam Royer after he gets kicked out. Only time will tell!

Michael Adam Royer-He goes by Adam, and he seems to fly by the seat of his pants and is nothing but positive about the experience, even though rumor has it he didn't last 3 weeks in the suite. I heard (also from the interwebs) that Hard Rock actually kicked him out because he had caused too much damage to the suite and hotel. Judging by how he was in the suite with the rest of the cast, and they all seemed to be getting along just fine, I'm apt to believe that it wasn't the roommates that actually kick him out.

Leroy Garrett-According to the cast mates, the phone belonged to this kid. Everyone answered the phone "Leroy's answering service," and he made everyone else answer it so he could screen. He's not really sure what's he is going to do after the experience, but he doesn't seem overly worried about it.

Michael Ross- He and Leroy were tight while they were living there, and they really seem like two peas in a pod. I can't wait to see their friendship on screen. Out of all the roommates, he seemed the most "real" to me. Everyone else seemed to be watching what they were saying.

Nany Gonzales and Naomi Defensor- These girls have to go together because they almost spoke as one person while being interviewed. They said they were very real in the house, and had great communication, and that's why they got along so well. Well, there was some major drama amongst the boys, although no one will state what. I noticed while hanging out in the suite with the cast that Leroy and Michael had no problems with Adam, but Dustin seemed to stick with Heather. However, like I said, everyone was keeping pretty mum about what exactly happened in the house.

I'll be recapping as soon as it starts in March, and might do one more blog post before that with some quotes from the cast! They did promise it was going to be a crazy season, better than the last season in Vegas! I'm excited!

ETA: I'm doing an in-dept look at the cast, please check back to my blog for all of the interviews!

Michael Adam Royer Interview

Leroy Garrett Interview

Holly's World: Hef is What?!?!?!

2011-01-31T10:32:00.000-08:00

So, last time we ended on the news that Hef was engaged. This episode she meets with her gang and discusses the issue, and she feels like she needs to go to LA.

Ted, Josh's manager calls to tell him he booked him a couple of nights of some Disney thing, but then sorta drops the bomb that he thinks he needs therapy. Mostly because last time he was in New York he sort of had a panic attack. All I'm saying is, I'm glad I don't have a manager. Yikes.

Holly goes and talks to Kendra. Kendra lays everything we are all thinking is on the line. Holly should be crushed, because she wanted to marry him. Kendra says "Why do you think he's marrying her?" aaaaand cut to Holly cruising up to the Mansion.

Holly does a voice over that when things weren't really headed in the marriage department with Hef, she decided to leave, but now she's wondering about what would've happened if she had stayed.

Holly chats up Mary, Hef's personal assistant, and she reveals that Crystal is the only one in the house. Mary says it's kinda nice not dealing with the drama, but it was hard when Holly left the Mansion. Mary also says that Crystal is really low key and good for Hef, and Hef is happy.

Holly bails to check out the Zoo, and we are back in Vegas with Angel and Josh. Angel tells Josh that therapy isn't just for crazy people, and that she went after she and the baby daddy split up. Angel encourages Josh to go see someone.

How do you pick the right therapist by the way? Yelp?

Holly's visiting at the zoo, playing with the monkeys and the birds. Hef shows up and it's awkward silence for a little bit, strained conversation a little longer...maybe it's just the editing, but it takes her forever to finally congratulate him on his engagement. Holly looks like she's going to cry, and my heart really goes out to her. You can feel her want to say "So, what was wrong with me? Why didn't you want to marry me?" And why would you marry an infant Hef?

Holly, 2 years ago, ordered a model of the house he grew up in, and it had just arrived. Hef loved it. He used to draw comic books as a kid, and she got him a mini comic book to go with the house. It's the type of gift that obviously really meaningful, and was a sweet moment up until Baby Crystal joined the conversation. Holly insists it wasn't awkward, and Hef and Crystal ride up the stairs and into the sunset. I think she might have needed that kind of closure to let go of Hef. It was a whole lot of buildup to a whole lot of nothing. Sorta like the entire line up at "E!"

Holly comes back to Vegas and rehashes everything, gives the "I was too young to settle down then" line. But, I believe her, she seems okay.

Next Time: That whole Claire St. Claire friend debut, and it's a Twitter catfight with Crystal and Holly calls Hef to apologize. It looks like Claire is doing something at Crazy Horse at MGM, but we shall see!

Twitter Fight!

2011-01-28T10:10:00.000-08:00

I really never thought I would like Twitter. I started my first twitter account as a way to try and tell short stories. I tended to be pretty long-winded, and thought this would help me out. I really fell in love with the format, and now my stories are so short I don't even tell them anymore, I really just read and respond to everyone else's tweets. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and tweeting, but nothing has happened worth tweeting about.

But recently in the Vegas Twittersphere, a controversy has bubbled up. This article explains it better than I ever could, mostly because I am one of the people who followed these guys, found them not particularly useful, and un-followed days later.

I've been replied to by one of them, and it was so random that I was almost positive that the account was a bot. Basically I'd been over at the Cosmo to buy $5 art at one of their Art-o-Mat machines, only to find them out of order. I tweeted to Cosmo that I was sad they were broken, and then was @replied to by one of the "Twitter Twin Twerps" as they are being referred to, with a short video showing the machines. You can imagine my confusion; why show me a video of the machine standing there, when obviously I had stood in front of that machine minutes ago. I thanked them and said "That's great, I was actually wanting to use the machine though."

I had seen the other one at a tweetup, but we never officially shook hands and met. My impression was he looked almost pained to be there, and talked to almost no one, although he sat with our group. If I hadn't been a couple of sheets to the wind I would've tried to engage him, but I had other people that were willing to talk without string-pulling.

I had heard from a fellow twitter person that they were hated amongst most Vegas twitter people because they used their mass amounts of followers to get free things. I'm sure this alone steamed people, but they went too far recently but almost demanding free things from casinos.

Now, if you read the other article, you pretty much know all that's gone on. It's written beautifully, I'm not going to re-hash it, but I am going to state my opinion on the matter.

How are these guys different from the suck-up at the office who gets away with everything? We've all known people like this, and I agree they are nothing to admire. What I can't understand though, is why everyone seems to care so much about bringing them down. If the mighty do fall, what does that do for us as a community? What will get better? These are serious questions I am asking, I'm not trying to be an ass about it. Is the feeling that they are getting away with all this just jealousy? It's been proven that most of their followers are most likely bots, or no one who pays attention. The only people who should be furious and rebelling should be the casinos that are wasting comps on these guys.

I think the casinos need to see them for what they are and stop inviting them everywhere. But that's just my jealousy talking.

This Blend is Bland

2011-01-26T10:09:00.000-08:00

So, I finally got a chance to catch "The Morning Blend" this morning. I was woken up unexpectedly and found it on, I thought I would watch it. I've either been at work already or sleeping in whenever it was on.

So far, I wish I had gone back to sleep. The chemistry amongst the newscasters is non-existent, and almost painful to watch. Whoever is doing the make-up on set needs to maybe get better lighting, because the makeup is caked on. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it is if I can see how thick it is watching TV without my glasses on. One of them in particular was so ashen looking I had to wonder if he just got the news that morning that he had a fatal disease.

I missed the notorious "Make-Over" segments, which I hear are horrible, but the 15 minutes that I did catch looked like a TV show I made up when I was in grade school in my living room. I visited their website, and it's a hot mess of business! But I saw on Friday, they have "Manny the Movie Guy" on.

Manny the Movie Guy? Seriously?

I only watched it once, and not the whole thing...but it needs TONS of work.

Holly's World: Was this next time or last time?

2011-01-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

Last night "Holly's World" started a new season, and I thought I'd cover it for the blog, since Holly Madison mostly stays on the strip for the show.

Right away though, the editing of this reality show has me totally confused. It starts out with a "this season on Holly's World"

-Holly is being told by Planet Ho to lose weight for Peepshow; Holly isn't sure about it.

-Holly helps some random girl named Claire St. Claire with her "Vegas Debut"

-Angel, Holly's assistant, subbed for Holly at Peepshow while Holly went on a week vacation. Holly seems to fire Angel as her assistant so that Angel can work on her career. Angel looks scared, because basically that means Holly's going to stop paying her.
-Josh, the singer in Peepshow, gets a call from someone saying that he needs to be in therapy.
-Some random skank (Jade Nicole) tells Holly she just moved to Vegas, Holly isn't pleased.
-Jade says Holly needs to lighten up, then rudely asks what birthday Holly is celebrating (32). Jade says "in Vegas years that's like, 60"

Now the show finally starts, with Holly and her friend Laura at LAS coming back. They are on the Level Zero with the car facing the wrong way, so I guess they just had to set up the shot that way. No way that wasn't staged. Holly says a guy she met came with them to Disney World. Jack Barakat is his name.

Holly swings from the airport right to Planet Ho, where her manager informs her that the chorographer of Peepshow wants her to lose weight. She storms out, saying she's going to find him and tell him to kiss her fat ass. He says she needs to "tone up," she resists, he states that she looks different from the cast, he says she doesn't look like the picture that's up all over town. It's an uncomfortable conversation.

They go to the Peppermill, which always makes me laugh because it's such a hole in the wall. They discuss the weight issue, but then Jade Nicole skanks her way in. Holly fills us in that she was a Playmate, then was on The Hills for awhile, and Holly feels like life on The Hills "changed her a little bit."

This just made me laugh, because I think living in Vegas changes people more than being on some TV show would. But what do I know?

Jade Nicole falls all over Josh for awhile, but then the gods of bad editing swoop in and somehow the conversation gets switched to Holly's upcoming birthday. Jade askes "So what birthday is it?"

Holly obviously doesn't know how to take this sudden turn of events, and says "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what do you mean? It's the start of my birthday month!" Jade says "yeah, the start of your birthday month, but what birthday is it?"

Now, especially amongst Playboy models, that is some major rudeness. The whole table is uncomfortable, maybe even the whole restaurant because it's not that big. Holly, not being equipped with a semi-automatic snark machine like I am, answers 32. Jade says "Really?!? Niiiiice...that's a good age. Well it was nice seeing you guys!" and books it. Josh rolls his eyes hilariously. Seeing as how Jade and the Skankbots just sit down, I'm guessing almost all of this was staged. I don't care how famous you are, it doesn't say "Seat yourself" in the front of the Peppermill. You don't just walk in so you can make fun of someone for still being within child-bearing years.

Also, the cameras follow them to their table and they make fun of Holly, and Jade says she's going to steal Josh away from her. All the kind of stuff that I heard on the playground in elementary school. That level.

We finally get to our first commercial break after this, but they have a freaking preview of what's coming up after the break. Dear E! Network: Stop it. Watching anything on your network comes with a horrible sense of Deja Vu. I feel like I've already seen the entire episode already. Seriously, knock it off.

So, right before Holly's party, Jade asked to be Josh's date. It's awkward. But, then head off to Tao. Jade and the losing weight and turning another year old thing bums Holly out. Until Josh starts to make out with Jade. Dear gay guys that make out with women; why?

After the party, Josh gets dragged through the mud for doing the nasty make out session with Jade. Josh plays innocent and says he's not judging her yet.

Another "What's coming up next on what you are about to see in 5 minutes!" Sigh.

Jade sends Holly a huge candy basket with a snide note. They throw it out. Then Holly finds out, through Twitter via Angel, that Hef got engaged to Crystal. It's a devastating scene, and I really do feel for her. He's been dating this girl less than a year, and she and Hef were together for 7 years. She was very vocal about wanting to get married and have kids, and Hef never proposed to her. I've never had something like this happen to me, but I've seen this happen to friends, and it's horrible. They feel betrayed, and like they did something wrong, and after the whole weight thing and the Jade thing...it's not a good week for Holly Madison. She seems to be trying to keep her head up about it, but the previews for next week show her storming the Mansion and...we'll find out what happens!

The Cosmo Pics ( @Cosmopolitan_LV )

2011-01-18T10:52:00.000-08:00

I went to the Cosmo this weekend, put all the photos up on Flickr. Go check them out!

This was my second trip to Cosmo, and I really like it. I really feel like it's what City Center promised it would be, then failed to deliver.

I really wonder if they are going to shuffle all the art in and out like a giant museum, or if all that art is there to stay. I guess only time will tell!

There Goes the Neighborhood

2011-01-14T10:27:00.000-08:00

Last week, for no reason at all, my neighbors left their house. Left as in shut the electricity down, took the dog, left. For a whole week.

In our neighborhood we have driveway lights that go on with the rest of the neighborhood, and according to the rules, we must keep them lit. They took the lights out, even the lights out of the lit address box.

I got used to how awesome it was, not hearing them neglect their dog so that he continued to bark. The kids going outside and shooting a football dangerously near my front windows and garage. The friends constant illegal parking so that I couldn't get out of my driveway. It was so nice while it lasted.

They did leave their decrepit old sedan out in their driveway. It has a side view mirror is only hanging out by a couple of wires, and no license plate. At some point during their residence, this became their only car, which obviously does not run. So, in the last few months, they have been walking across the street to the supermarket, and bringing the cart back to the house. And leaving it there. For a week.

I did not pay good money for a nice house so I could look out the window and see a shopping cart. If I wanted that, I would've stayed in the trashy apartments I lived in for years because it was cheap.

So, this week they came back. They put the bulbs back in, the kids started yelling in the street again.

And less than 24 hours later, another cart was in the faux-de-sac.

Electronic Nightmare

2011-01-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

So, this is my first year attending CES. And I came from somewhere else, so I was ill-prepared today for what I got. I wasn't wearing the right shoes to go traipsing through the electronic daisies, and I got a blister on my foot to prove it.

Seminars that cost $550 each (thanks for mentioning that in your tweet, iJustine. /sarcasm), billions of people walking AND checking their phones at the same time (Bowling for Tourists, anyone?) it was madness. I basically spent most of my time trying to find the room iJustine was having her thing in, then finding out I had to "register" for it first, and then finding out it was like, two car payments just to get in. Sorry girl, I'm not that big of a fan.

Tomorrow I will start again, and try and get through the show. Wish me luck! And if you are going, let me know and we'll meet up!

The Real World: Vegas...Again?

2011-01-03T16:50:00.000-08:00

The Real World came back to Vegas and just finished filming at the Hard Rock Hotel. I'm going to be interviewing them this week and if you have any questions you'd like me to ask them, leave them as a comment or email me at contactlvgirl@gmail.com

I'll blog all about it early next month!

Panic Attack

2010-12-29T10:19:00.000-08:00

Getting out of my development has become challenging. Since the opening of a recent street, there is a non-stop stream of cars and I'm the one with the stop sign. It sometimes takes 10 minutes just to get out.

Can I call someone about this? The city or something? I really want to like, steal some stop signs and just make it a 4 way stop.

I almost got hit coming out the other day, because someone got angry that I was being cautious and whipped around me as I was pulling out. It was a serious near miss, and it really scared me. Then of course, there were the usual traffic shenanigans on the way to the store, the other near misses that are everyday occurrences in this crazy town.

Then, the store was insane. I thought after Christmas they put those annoying crazy people away, but I was wrong. I couldn't get half my list because I couldn't get to anything. It's like these people weren't even shopping, they were just hanging out...in front of everything I needed. And they all just don't care. I almost walked out of the store without getting anything.

When did parents stop teaching manners? And is it just here, or is the entire country? I swear I want to lock myself away in my house and never leave again. It's become so difficult to go out and endure people being rude to me. I don't want to go out, I don't want to "meet up" for drinks anymore. I've officially become anti-social.

All because of you crazy traffic people.

Ghost Riding the Whip

2010-12-24T11:37:00.000-08:00

The neighbors across the faux-du-sac are just getting more and more insane. Last night, at around 12:30 at night, I heard a car trying to start. Like the Gladys Kravitz I am, there was a clatter, so I went to the window to see what was the matter.

I saw a mid-sized car drifting down the faux-du-sac, with a male teenager splayed across the back of the hatchback.

They got the car to drift enough that they got it started, then squealed out of the sac and did a wide u-turn back into the driveway, all with the dumb teen holding onto the back of the car like one of those stupid plush Garfield clings.

They got out of the car, yelling all about how "cool" that was, and irritating their dog, who continued to bark at them until they got into the house.

Another day in the life of living in the upscale ghetto.

The Telephone Game

2010-12-21T11:49:00.000-08:00

I was followed on Twitter a few weeks ago by someone who was a hotel operator, posting anonymously. I thought it would be interesting, much like the LVCabbie (the only person who is allowed to post three or more tweets at a time, in my opinion) or Courtesan. But, oh was I wrong.

The "Operator" was a long winded, short sighted, obnoxious individual. I immediately started skipping past their tweets (which were several tweets long, a big no no in my twitter rules), but not before I saw that he/she said that hotels never transfer someone to another hotel if asked.

Excuse me?

I couldn't let something like that slide. I replied, saying that I've called the operator in many casinos that had no problem transferring me. In fact, some might call that the only reason they dial zero.

That got me several DMs explaining to me how in their hotel, it's not allowed, but that most big strip hotels will "bend over backwards" to "suck up" to guests.

Knowing I would be fighting a losing battle, and knowing Captain Long-Winded would just start up again, I just replied "You should really be writing a blog." The underhanded humor, of course, was lost on him/her. He/She then launched again into a poorly worded excuse for how they had been asked to do a blog, of course, but the time...blah blah blah, it wouldn't stop. After 15 or so DMs (that were blowing up my phone in the meantime) I deleted them off of my follow list to order to avoid more DMing.

And all they do is complain about things that are basically their job to do. It's not like it's being presented in a way that's all "Isn't it funny, someone asked to be connected to NASA today!" It's complaining. I'm sorry, but in this economic climate...you don't complain about your job. Especially when your job is as easy as that. You transfer calls. STFU, especially if you don't understand basic concepts like grammar and sentence structure. And 140 character limits.

Seriously.

Hometown Help

2010-12-17T22:31:00.000-08:00

Please check out Courtney's Blog, Reno is a Gateway Drug. It's the opposite of how great I think my hometown is, but every action needs an equal and opposite reaction, doesn't it?

But seriously, her entries read like a novel that always end in the craziest way possible! Make sure and check her out!

GunPlay

2010-12-16T20:58:00.000-08:00

I live on the other side of a major street from Holly Madison. I don't live in a bad area. Sadly, with the housing market, my gated community has more renters than owners right now.

Across our "faux-de-sac" moved in, practically in the middle of the night, some rough looking characters. The garage looked like a scene from Hoarders within a few months. A few months after that, the car in the driveway lost it's rearview mirrors, and it's license plate. Then the other car disappeared completely.

Now we constantly have a shopping cart from the nearest store parked out front, and the redneck kid is always climbing over the wall to get outside the complex. At least they don't throw wild parties and keep fairly quiet.

Until today.

I was folding laundry upstairs and I heard a popping noise. It almost sounded like something was hitting the house, so I peaked out the window to investigate.

And they were out in their backyard, shooting a....wait for it...handgun!

They were shooting it over the fence, where on the other side there was a major road and a sidewalk where schoolchildren walk home. The gun did sound like it was a pellet gun, or possibly some kind of paint gun. But still, you could injure someone with those!

But, he's doing it in his own backyard, I can't exactly call the cops for that...I don't think. I just hope they move out soon.

Peer Pressure

2010-12-10T11:09:00.000-08:00

I've noticed recently that when I go out to eat with anyone, they always ask what I'm drinking. If I say water, it's like I've punted the baby Jesus. Even my own mother said she was appaled at the lack of booze we consumed when I last visited her.

Sadly, I think because of Vegas, I'm just over it. I've been overexposed, and it just never really did anything for me. Most of the time I drink just because it's socially acceptable. But while I was back home, I realized that it was just because the drinks here are horrible.

Vegas is the land of Quantity, not Quality. The dirty martini I had back home, in a place that is equivalent to a PT's here, was one of the best ones I've had in nearly forever. It's so strange, we have all these famous chefs and the best food here, and the drinks are sub-par.

Now, I'm sure there are good cocktails here, but I'm not willing to pay $100's for a cocktail. I just want to have one decent drink, and then still be able to drive home. But that's not the goal here, the goal in Vegas is to get drunk. Getting drunk in Vegas, you don't really need Patron when you have Jose.

But all I want is one decent drink. It's just too much to ask.

Maybe We Can "MeetUp" Later...

2010-12-01T10:22:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine once sung the praises of meetup.com. Specifically, she loved her "Girl's Night Out" group. I never could figure out if it was supposed to be single slutty girls trolling for guys, or if there was some higher purpose. At any rate, I attended a couple of free functions as her guest, and the girls seemed okay. No one I would get a number from and want to be friends with in the future, but they were fine.

Later a friend made me sign up to join a sushi group he had just joined. I figured since I was in there I'd join the Girl's Night Out group as well.

Big Mistake.

First I was asked a huge series of questions, then told I had to participate in at least 3 events a month, and most of these event cost money. Being the penny pinching hound I am, I just unsubscribed from the group, then forgot about MeetUp altogether.

But last week my friend was hosting something for the sushi group, and asked that I come and fill it up so that he looked like he did well at the meetup.

These people....were total social rejects. It was the most uncomfortable social situation I've had in a long time. Even though I really try not to look at my phone when meeting new people, I ended up doing it just so that I'd have something to distract me from all the drab personalities.

So, I have to ask, are all meetup groups these social misfits, or did I just pick a bad meetup group?

'Tis the Season

2010-11-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, the actual start of the holiday season. And in the spirit of the Holiday Season I'd like to remind everyone about the saying "goodwill towards man"

Now, I know that Vegas is severely lacking in any sort of goodwill, unless you count an occasional complimentary jello shot at the bar. But, do me a favor this year: Be Nice.

I just went to Albertson's for some light shopping, and got shoved and knocked out of someone's way without apology a grand total of 4 times. This was with hardly anyone in the store. All 4 people gave me dirty looks, like I had been in their way.

This isn't even counting the 3 cars that tried to mow me down in the parking lot in order to get my spot. This is why I hide under my covers after Thanksgiving is over. Instead of good will towards man, it's "bitch get out of my way and hand over that last cashmere scarf!"

Especially in these terrible economic times, all we have is each other, is being nice to strangers and making someone's day with just a smile.

So, just for next month...stop being such an asshole, would ya? Give me something to be thankful for.

Oh, the Tourists We Know...

2010-11-17T09:50:00.000-08:00

I'm in the middle of a barrage of visitors right now. A few weeks ago I had my friend in town for a conference, and last weekend I had someone who hadn't ever had a "Vegas Weekend" before, and tomorrow my family comes in for an early Thanksgiving.

The one who had never had a "Vegas Weekend" before was the one who got the most lost in the bright lights of Vegas, even before she left the airport. Her luggage was the last one out, and then she promptly walked the wrong way to passenger drop off instead of passenger pick up. I had circled passenger pick up about 5 times by the time she realized this, so the 6th trip around I finally got her. Of course, it was about 11pm by then, and she was hungry.

Because it was close, we headed to Town Square and were ignored by all the staff at Cadillac Ranch, even though the guy in front insisted they were still serving food and we could sit anywhere. After 20 minutes we left, and by that time the only place I could think of that would still be open was Peppermill. We got great service there, then headed home.

I drove her to Excalibur to join the rest of "her girls" to start her weekend. I invited her via text to a couple of things I had already planned, but they had their own plans to attend to.

Sunday morning comes around, and just before 8 AM my phone starts to vibrate until I check who is calling, and it's her.

The connection is bad (I blame Excalibur) but she seems to be in some sort of panic. Turns out her friend slept in and missed her flight.

RULE No. 1 of Vegas: Never, EVER make yourself leave in the morning, because you will be hungover and you will miss your flight. This, to us locals, is just common sense.

I tell my friend, call the 800 customer service number of her airline and get another flight, no problem. Then she asks me if I can come down there and drive them. Remember, I'm still wiping the sleep from my eyes at this point; because no one should be up that early on a Sunday unless they are worshipping.

RULE No. 2 of Vegas: 24/7, there are cabs waiting right out front of any hotel on the strip. They are waiting for you. They want to take you anywhere you want to go, including the airport.

This is what I told her, then waited about an hour for her response. She was obviously still a little drunk, which is understandable in a Vegas weekend.

But I'm still thinking I'm going to forget to tell people I live here from now on.

Twitter Etiquette

2010-11-10T17:25:00.000-08:00

I used to love Twitter. Everyone was so funny and witty, and the ones I choose to send to my phone brightened my day. However, as of late it seems Twitter is more of a chore than anything else.

The #1 thing that pisses me off is multiple tweets in a row, especially when it's all the same story. If it can't fit inside 140 characters, it doesn't need to be tweeted, it needs to be blogged. Example right here, right now. I also hate if there are multiple replies. If they are legit replies, I don't mind so much. But if it's "@randomdude LoL I know right, lol jk wtf! #imaidiot" that ticks me off.

Hashtags are also a huge pet peeve. If they are funny, it's great, but usually it's something that NO ONE else is hashtagging, therefore making it irrelevant.

Big effing downers bug me as well. I didn't sign onto Twitter to read about how much life sucks for you. Obviously an occasional gripe is just fine, but there are some people that are almost completely incapable of a positive thought. These people shouldn't be on twitter, they should be in therapy. And they should be tweeting about how swell therapy is going.

Recently Re-Tweeting has gotten me steaming too. Don't RT unless it really resonates with you. Like, REALLY REALLY. Or, it's a contest or something that will benefit everyone, like a traffic report. Otherwise, if that person was so awesome, everyone is already following them, and has seen it already.

Rudeness is also something that I don't think people really think about before they post something on Twitter. It seems no one stops to think about how rude or insensitive it can come off. I've called a few people out on this, and they never seem to mean what they said, but they never really seem too sorry about it either. I know the internet doesn't feel real and we can hide behind our screen names and just be rude...but would you do that to someone's face? I always feel like we should always live life like our grandparents were watching. If they would be disappointed in something we were doing...then maybe we shouldn't be doing it.

There are so many other things that bother me, and I'm sure at one point or another I've done each and every one of these things, but I try my best to keep it in check. If you meet my standards, feel free to follow me @VegasArgot. If you want a followback, feel free to @Reply to me, and I'll follow you. But, if you break any of these rules more than once, you're gone. xoxo!

Halloween Couture, Not "Student" Work

2010-11-03T16:27:00.000-07:00

There were so many beautiful designs at the show last Saturday, I'm so glad I heard about it! There were only 1 or 2 designs that seemed to me to be actual student work, but a solid 90% would've fit in with regular old couture in any fashion runway!

I got elbowed out of the front, and had an overly enthusiastic girl next to me, so my shots are fairly limited, but you can see them all over on my facebook page, as well as the same shots on my flickr page.

Enjoy all the pictures, and I'll be on the lookout for this and other things by the IADT in the future!

Punctuality

2010-10-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

When I lived back home, I was always 15 minutes early. However, in a place that takes only 15 minutes to get anywhere, it wasn't hard. I got angry when there were people that were always late, and complained.

Then I moved to Vegas.

Everyone was always late. This is, in part, to do with traffic, but mostly to do with apathy. There is just no need to be right on time when you are going to a club. Basically unless it's a show or a professional appointment, there is no reason to be on time. And everyone knows this. Call it "LV Standard Time" if you must.

There have been some people I've come across that have just moved here, and they seem to take such offense by this, in addition to never being on time themselves. I hate this double standard these people seem to have.

We live in Vegas, and Vegas has it's own set of rules. I think we sometimes forget that after living here for awhile. We get used to the lack of rules that governs the rest of the 49 states. Just this afternoon I was driving on LVB and saw a man on the street, staring with disbelief at the open Budweiser in his hand. He was clearly so excited to be out on the street with an open container of booze. Later on this very night, I suspect he will also be joyous that he is drunk in public, and not in the back of a police car.

We live in a world without many rules, and in order to function, we have to give in to it in order to survive. If we all get bent out of shape whenever someone is a little late to an event, we will never survive here.

I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it's an important thing. Besides, you can always tell them to get there 15 minutes earlier, and then they'll show up on time!

Halloween Couture!

2010-10-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

As a kid, I lived about 8 hours North of Vegas, so I never really saw the point of dressing up for Halloween. My costumes were covered up by a ski jacket every year, and it took all the fun out of it. I decided to stay home at a young age and hand out candy because I enjoyed it more. I liked seeing how other kids got creative with their outfits.

Thankfully this Halloween I get to enjoy my favorite parts of the holiday with the Halloween Couture Show. IADT, the Las Vegas Fashion Design School, are putting on an extravaganza at Fashion Show Mall on October 30th at 2:00pm. The student designers will be able to show their avant-garde fashions in the show…and unlike Project Runway, we don’t have to vote anyone off!

I’m excited to go, it should be more exciting than the usual shows they have there on the weekends, and I hope to get some great shots while I’m there! Who’s coming with me?

Articles in Other Places

2010-10-05T23:04:00.000-07:00

I wrote a couple of articles for While Las Vegas Sleeps, and forgot to link them here! Bad Me! Go check them out:

The Grand Canyon Skywalk is a total scam!

Yes, I'm a Chubby Girl

American Apparel, Never again

2010-09-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

A little while back I had to go to California for my Grandmother's Unveiling Ceremony, and afterwards we went to an outlet mall to take our minds off of the day.

My sister and I walked into an American Apparel store, because she had gotten a shirt/skirt thing there last year, and I had thought it was cute. We walked in, where the hipsters working there got busy ignoring us, causing us to have to basically trip one for help. We found the item, I tried on a couple of them, and decided on one. At this point my sister had found 3 items she wanted to try on, so I gave her my room and made my way to the counter.

My sister was done with her room before I could get anyone to come to the front to sell me my item. It put me off almost to the point where I really should have walked out. The girl checking me out stuffed the skirt into a bag, then informed me that because it was an outlet, this was a final sale item. I agreed and paid and left.

Upon arriving back in Vegas, I took the skirt out to put on, and noticed there was a red marker stain on the skirt. I checked the receipt, and though it was a final sale, I could exchange it for another skirt, which is basically all that I wanted.

Sadly, the only American Apparel outlet store in Vegas is located in the smack dab middle of the outdoor Charleston Outlet Mall.

So, in 114 degree weather, I downed an entire bottle of water and set out to exchange my skirt. By the time I made it there I was covered in sweat, tired and irritated. I walked right up to the counter and explained my situation.

At first, they tried to tell me that I couldn't exchange it because it was from a different store. Because I was hot and irritated, I immediately asked if they expected me to haul this defective skirt all the way back to Gilroy, California in order to exchange it.

Sensing my irritation, the hipsters took me over to pick up a new skirt. They didn't have one in the color I wanted, so I choose another color. He checked the tag for my size, then exchanged it and I took off running into the heat.

The next day I took it out to wear it, and noticed the price tag and the actual tag had two different sizes on it. It was, of course, the wrong size. So again I ventured into the heat and went straight to the skirts to pick out my own so that I'd never have to come back again. It was then I noticed they had one in my original color and my size! Excited, I grabbed for it and pulled it out.

My eyes wandered down the skirt and suddenly I saw it: the red mark. This was my original skirt. They took my defective skirt, and put it back on the rack like it was fine. I was floored. Who would do something like that? Was it a mistake? Maybe a misunderstanding between the hipsters, and it suddenly got back on the rack. Should I take it back up there and let them know the mistake?

I decided to leave it on the rack and go up for the exchange. Head Hipster mentioned he remembered me, and I so I couldn't help but point out that the skirt I returned was on the rack, and did he know that? At this point another employee has come up and pipes in with "Oh yeah, we do that all the time. People know it's an outlet, so they expect something to be wrong with it when they buy it. I'm sure someone will buy that skirt."

I was floored. Is this really what people expect when they buy things from outlet stores? Am I out of touch with reality? I always thought outlets were for things that were last season, or they made too many. I never expected to buy anything from an outlet that was out and out defective or stained. I wouldn't pay anything for something that was stained.

It's for this reason I will no longer be shopping at American Apparel. Until their standards are up to...well, any standard, I won't be there.

That was Effen Good!

2010-09-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

A few night ago I went to an Effen Vodka event at the Wynn with a few friends. It was located in the Tryst nightclub, which is always beautiful, but they made the mistake of putting all the mixologist into the center dance floor area, which is NOT roomy at all.

So as we were squeezing around the crowd, there were four tables with two mixologists each. I HAVE to call them mixologists, because just plain bartenders is NOT what these gentlemen were doing. They were creating the most amazing drinks that vodka can make.

The first table we hit had a fun champagne/vodka/raspberry drink that he had just finished mixing. It was a great drink to start; not overly complicated, like the vodka equivalent of a palate cleanser. The second table was cantaloupe/lemongrass/vodka kind of combination, and it was so much fun! Of course, my friend with me thought the lemongrass was rolled up cantaloupe or something, resulting in the best look on her face. It was like a Laurel and Hardy routine, with me jumping up and down telling her to not eat it, and her practically spitting out the lemongrass.

The last table we went to (there were two more, but the mass of the crowd was so big by then, we just bailed out and met up with the rest of the crowd we came with) had a jalapeno vodka drink that was amazing! they managed to get enough of the hot out of the pepper, but it still had that amazing hotness tickle at the back of your throat. It reminded me of a drink at a bar back home that has been discontinued.

It's been so long since I've had a truly awesome drink, let alone a bunch of them. I wish there were more events like that, where a bunch of mixologists were competing, so they feel the need to step it up. I've had more bad drinks in Vegas that it hardly seems fun to drink anymore. We went to 2 other events that night, and none of them had the quality of drinks that this event did.

Thanks to Effen Vodka for a great event!

True Beauty: Last Two Episodes

2010-08-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

Wow am I late on this. Seriously. Twice my hubby has asked me "When can we erase this True Beauty off the DVR?"

Here it goes:

Amy and Michelle were on the chopping block, and after Amy's crazypants meltdown, she finally pulls ahead to save herself. They toast the Fantastic Final Four.

A game of truth or dare leads to girl on girl tickling. Craig gives everyone a strip show, which is sort of what he was doing the whole time, right? But it loosens everyone up, they head to the pool. Where there are copious amounts of booze waiting for them. Which, none of them see as a bad omen. No one.

They spring the challenge on them as soon as they get back from the pool: They have to deal blackjack. Now. So they hurry and get ready, and Amy is a big negative nancy right off the bat. I don't actually blame her here though. I've lived in Nevada my whole life, and I couldn't tell you what blackjack was about at all. I would be so scared of this challenge.

The first hidden camera challenge is kind of a bogus challenge. They are in an elevator with a seemingly pregnant lady smoking and drinking. The challenge was to say something to the lady, which I think is so none of their business. Anyone who is doing that, what difference would it make if you said something?

The second hidden camera challenge is an asshole pit boss overseeing the blackjack training. All but Craig pass. The fake pit boss really gets into being a jerk though.

The "Real" Challenge begins, and everyone messes up quite a bit. Erika wins, and she's very emotional about it, because that means she's in the top 3. Craig and Amy are in the bottom two. Everybody hates Craig. They bitch.

After the break the judges go over all the mistakes that Craig and Amy has made. Craig is still looking mostly bad, and Amy just seems oblivious rather than mean. Their last-minute challenge is a mom with a baby, and the mom is trying to get the stroller into the car. Do they help? Craig does, and Amy...sadly...doesn't. She gets sent home, and Craig goes back to the room.

LAST EPISODE EVER!

The problem with this seasons True Beauty, is that the real challenges...ARE the real challenges. If someone was snowy white, but didn't win a challenge...they went home. I just can't get behind that system. The final 3 are Erika, Taylor, and Craig. Taylor has been bland the whole time...Erika has been a big cheater...and Craig is the worst of all. He goes around being a huge jerk all the time.

The challenge is showing around Steve-O. In Vegas. So that means they have a stupid Vegas night, filled with shenanigans. I don't think anyone from Vegas quite understand how bananas one of these nights can be. They usually end with you sleeping on the bathroom floor.

Sadly, after being awake for 24 hours, they are taken to the Venetian, where they are told to perform a Vegas commercial. Which takes forever. They have an hour to memorize their scripts, and Erika suddenly loses her shit. She's so tired, and she just lets go. Honestly, I don't hate her for this. I turn into a crazy person when I don't have enough sleep either. Of course though, they are going to hold it against her.

Which reminds me, I really need to give up drinking. More than one drink.

Hey, that's like being in AA for Vegas people.

Anyway, all of them do relatively well considering they are running on fumes. They pass out in the room, all of them in the clothes they wore for the challenge. Once they wake up and go to judging, the winner is Taylor...and Erika...and Craig. I don't know about them, but I'd feel like crap about that. I stayed up all night for you to consider it a three way tie? Screw that.

They are given the keys to the control room, and the jig is finally up. Taylor gets that this is the show...he's seen it. The other two I don't think really get it, but they get that they just looked like idiots on national TV.

The final three get to see their faces on the marquee outside of Planet Hollywood, which is a big pick me up after their dreams being crushed. It's a great shot of the strip, and it makes me long for the days when there weren't Hollywood Blvd rejects clogging up the traffic.

The final three are in the limo going to judging, which makes me wonder where exactly they hold the judging. Wouldn't they just pick a room at the convention center and dress it up? Why go to a whole other location?

Anyway, $100,000 cash and a picture in People magazine is all the cash and prizes they get. Erika goes first, and gives a great plea. Craig waxes poetic about competing at a "high level" whatever that means. He actually gives back the vest, saying he's felt bad ever since he took it. I personally think he dove into his laundry for it thinking it would be a great way to win. Taylor gets called out for being a diva, and he talks about being a role model and says he has no excuse for what he's done. It's not poetic, but it's direct and to the point.

Last commercial break ever! And third place goes to Craig, which shocks the hell out of me, because I thought that gesture was so grand it would blow over the judges. But, I'm also a little happy an American will win the mythical "Face of Vegas" fame.

Taylor. Vanilla Taylor actually takes the whole thing. I never saw it coming, and neither did he from the look on his face. Erika takes it like a man, and that's the end of the show.

Took forever, didn't it?

Being Neighborly

2010-07-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

(original post date November 2009)
My husband and I were awoken in the wee morning hours by a loud thumping at our door. We went to the door and who should be there but two little girls, about 6 and 3 years old.

“My Mom left us here!” Was the opening line. My mind immediately went into crazy thought mode: Why would someone wait outside our gated community until someone opened the gates just to abandon their child?

After a brief question and answer period, I found out they lived across the hall, and their mom had “gone to work.” I went over to the apartment to see if anyone was in there, and didn’t find anyone. There was a cell phone on the counter, and an air mattress for the kids on the side of the master bed. There was literally nothing in the spare bedroom.

It struck me then that because of the place we live, I have no idea what my next door neighbor does. I don’t know their names, and yet I have their kids. Their scared, abandoned kids. I don’t know them at all, but I’m going to judge them anyway. Because who leaves their kids alone to go to work at 5something in the morning?

About 15 minutes later, their father (I assume, he could just be the boyfriend of the week) came up the stairs and took them home.

Here it is, only a few weeks later, and they moved out in the middle of the night. The eviction notice stares me in the face every time I leave the house.

You know that Sandra Bullock movie they keep advertising for, "The Blind Side"? The part where he says he's never had a bed? I didn't realize that was real for people until I "met" these little girls.

It's sad to know that poverty lived right next door. Now, who knows where they live.

Drunk by 7pm

2010-07-17T08:54:00.000-07:00

(original post date October 18th, 2008)
I walk out of the stall in the bathroom at the Blue Martini. A girl is directly in front of me, splashing water everywhere in an attempt to wash her hands. Leaving the water running, she walked over to the paper towels, where she proceeded to slip and slide all over the floor, nearly falling.

I held back my laugh, and approached her still running sink and washed my hands. Water dripped off the sink onto my shoe, so I had to chuckle some more. Drunk girl started to stumble out of the bathroom, but stopped at the first mirror she came across.

Like Narcissus at the pool, she started at herself like she was the living end. She touched her face and made sure her makeup was perfect. I finished washing my hands and headed over to the paper towels and noticed there was no water on the floor; that girl had fallen on nothing, just her own feet.

I headed out and noticed she had found the floor length mirror and was mesmerized by it. I headed out, now laughing out loud. I checked my watch and noticed the time was 7 pm.

Sloppy Ass Drunk by 7pm. Welcome to Vegas.

Tourist Tip #3

2010-07-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

I know this is getting a little heavy on the show aspect of it, but this goes for everything. When you make reservations for anything; Shows, Restaurant reservations, spa appointments, whatever: CHECK TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS CORRECT!

If you walk away from that desk/computer, and your paperwork says a date that is not correct, you could be royally screwed.

Lets take the spa appointment for example: If you booked a massage for 12:30 on Thursday, but your paperwork says 1:45 on Saturday, guess what? They have you down for 1:45 on Saturday, and someone else might have that spot at 12:30 on Thursday by the time you realize your mistake. Never walk away until it's all set. I don't care that you are holding up the line, it's better to have a few people mad at you then you furious at yourself. Because it's your fault that you didn't check the confirmation paperwork. Not theirs.

Seriously, while you are busy in your own head, 98% of those employees are reading the dates and times back to you, telling you if there are no cameras allowed (see last post) and giving you all the imperative information you need. If you get to the door and declare, "They never told me that!" You are a dirty liar. That is why you get that look from them. You were told, you just didn't listen.

This is why us locals say the tourist's IQ drops at the airport. But that's a story for another time.

Case the Joint

2010-07-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

I decided to use my Wii to it's fullest extent today, and was in the middle of a major Sith battle (I had no idea we had The Force: Unleashed, I had to try it.) someone rings my doorbell.

I went to look the peephole and didn't recognize the casually dressed guy at the door, so I went back to my game, but then he rang the bell again. I figured I'd leave the storm door locked and see what the guy wanted.

I opened the door and no one was there. Then he stepped back into frame from the driveway, where he stayed.

"Hey, did you know this house is going up for auction tomorrow?" He said.

Without missing a beat I said "No it's not."

He was taken aback, and said "Oh...are you sure? Do you have a home loan modification?"

"No. You have the wrong house." I was firm with my last statement. He backed off really quickly, apologized, and walked off.

It was the weirdest thing. This ever happen to anyone else?

True Beauty: Vegas Wedding

2010-07-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

First off, I want to mention that my husband said he absolutely loves the sounds I make when I watch these kinds of shows. I just can't help it. It's amazing to me, the things that some people will do. Or not do. Or not understand. It's just brilliant.

This episode starts off with a filler of everyone getting creeped out by the contestant that loves to walk around naked. Something tells me that this will have no impact whatsoever on the competition.

The Beauties go to That Random White Wedding Chapel, where they partake in some weddings. Who are these people that would let their shotgun wedding be filmed for a sham TV show? It just seems a little silly. On top of that, the challenge is completely superficial. The couples get to hear a few things about the contestants, and basically judged on how cute they are, they pick them to be part of the wedding party.

The secret challenge was comforting a brow-beaten bride, or not comforting her as the case was. It was kind of a sad scene. Even though the bride was in on it, I still felt bad for her. The "mother" berated the bride to be SO badly. It was so sad.

The best part about this was at the end, when one of the two girl's up for elimination is told she's going home, and the other one comments "Home, like Planet Hollywood, or like home home?" I almost laughed till I cried. It's amazing that someone that stupid can scrape by in life, let alone in a reality show.

Tourist Tip #2

2010-07-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

(original blog date May 2, 2008)

We know you want to take pictures, but this ain't your kids high school play. These productions are upwards of 50-200 million dollars in production costs.

One, your picture is gonna suck anyway. Yes, even if you use a flash, you tool. Stop it. Two, you are bugging everyone around you. Flashes distract and detract from the action. Three, you are really gonna be popular when someone of authority comes to tell you to put it away. If this is the second time you are caught, they WILL take your camera away and you can pick it up after the show. Refuse to relinquish your camera, and you'll be taken out of the show. Seriously, just try it.

If you actually paid money to get into the show and no one specifically told you it was okay, then just assume it's not. When you are out on the strip, go crazy. When you are sitting down, don't pull it out unless someone encouraged you to.

And if you try it in the strip club, expect your jeans to get a little dirty as you get thrown out.

True Beauty: Final Goodbye, Liz

2010-07-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

Liz was the worst contestant on this show. I just wanted to start out saying that. Not even being able to accept all the horrible things you did. I bet if she wasn't so pretty, she wouldn't be able to look at herself in the mirror.

This week the Beauties were given a small pamphlet about Las Vegas the night before they were to be a tour guide on the strip. You would think they gave them "War and Peace" to read before the next morning. One even admitted he hasn't read a book in 10 years. So, basically, when someone made him in school.

Sadly, most of them didn't even remotely remember anything. They didn't know where to get a good steak dinner (hint; just name a casino and say their steak house. Golden.) They had a hard time with the name of the Luxor.

Yeah, I wish I was making that up. I really do.

I really don't understand how you want to be the "Face of Vegas" and you don't even know the Strip. I was working on the strip for a month, and just by osmosis I learned all I needed to know. They've been up in the Planet Ho tower suite for at least a few weeks...what's the hold up?

Snark

2010-06-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

(original blog date January 23rd, 2008)
You know how you have that little obnoxious five year old living inside your head? The quick-witted one that come up with things so mean you can't believe it came out of your own head?

Well, my five-year old is on her game today.

I was in a newly renovated bathroom on the strip today, and I was sitting at the "vanity mirrors" deleting pictures from my phone. A few girls came up and stood at the mirrors behind me, so I could see them in my mirror.

They were wearing the typical tourist dressing like a hooker apparel; draped shirts over skin tight, low waisted jeans. They do not have bodies for these outfits, and there is skin pouring out of everywhere. They are talking in typical "to loud because drunk" fashion, so I can't help but overhear their conversation.

One of the girls says, out of nowhere, "God blessed me with beautiful eyes and beautiful lashes."

My five year old muttered under her breath; "And nothing else."

Retro Cupcakes: A Buttercream Dream

2010-06-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

I pre-ordered some cupcakes from Retro Bakery this week, because I was going to be over in "god-forsaken land" for some Slider Truck. (I'll talk about Slider Truck later, promise)

Now, Retro Cupcakes is out there. Like, far. And they close at 6pm. So, I had to call ahead. By the time I got there, everything would've been gone. At least that's what the Twitterverse told me. So I panicked, and ordered the first 3 cupcakes I saw on the menu.

Kari, one of the owners, greeting myself and my companion with a witty, fantastic sense of humor. I would buy cupcakes from her, as well as go and have a drink with her, she seems like my type of girl.

I've pictured their cupcake Hop Scotch, a "Vanilla cake topped with vanilla buttercream dipped in butterscotch ganache" aka, heaven in a paper cupcake liner. Sadly, I didn't see this one until I got there. For sure, it's going to be on my list for the next time. Check out their flickr account for the full set of cupcakes.

I'm a traditionalist, so the chocolate fountain was by far my favorite. Never has a chocolate buttercream passed my lips that has been so decadent. The cake was still moist, even after a few hours in the hot car and then getting them back to room temperature. I have a feeling the desert does it's toll on these things, and they make them fresh everyday, which makes them perfect.

They are closed on Sundays, and then are taking a vacation from June 27th-July 7th, so hurry over to the ends of our earth and get some before then.

True Beauty: Spice Market Challenge

2010-06-23T16:01:00.000-07:00

The public challenge this week was to create a "naked and covered with food" print campaign for the Spice Market Buffet inside Planet HO.

David, the astrologist and DJ (You just can't make this up), got fruit, and he went the obvious route of unpeeling a banana and putting it "in front of his junk." His words. It was easy, and even though I thought he could have used a bit more creativity, I wasn't overly offended by it. The judges, however, were. They said it was so bad they couldn't even look at it.

Now, this whole season this guy has been on my hate list. He's so full of himself, and so rude, and thinks just because Mercury is in Retrograde he has this thing in the bag. However,he had the greatest line of the show this week:

"Me popping a banana off and peeling, I should be able to do that, because that's what this place represents. This place is the city of sin and I'm getting in trouble for sinning in the city of sin? That's like going to Disneyland and getting in trouble for having fun."

I really have to agree with him. He ended up going home, but I really think it was a mistake. I wanted him to go home eventually, but he makes a really valid point. Vegas is about sinning, and the banana thing wasn't even remotely offensive in a town like this. Maybe it's because everyone who is producing this show lives in LA, but, seriously? I have to stare at a line of butts on the back of a taxi cab in traffic on a daily basis. Nude butts. Bananas? Suggestive yes, offensive, no.

After all, we grade on a very wide curve here.

Hollywood and LVB

2010-06-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

Last week we had a few friends in town, so we did the strip peruse from Bellagio to Caesars/Flamingo. As I was driving to meet them, I noticed a strange influx of people in front of the Planet Ho.

Impersonators.

Just like on Hollywood and Highland, right in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater, were absolutely LOADS of them. Playboy Bunnies, "The Hangover" guys, "Evil" and "Good" Spiderman.

All I could think is "When the hell did this start?" It really bothered me. I didn't want them there. It's bad enough, trying to get past the mass of people stopping dead for no reason, AND the pornslappers, that I didn't want them there.

But I think the real reason I hated it so much, was the same reason that I hate them there. They are there to basically sucker money out of the tourists. Some of them put thought and effort into it, and others just find a costume of Scooby Doo from the Halloween store and hit the strip.

But either way, they are taking money away from the casinos, which is the real reason people are here. They aren't here to take pictures with a guy with a plastic baby tied to their chest.

So, the question becomes: Why are the casinos allowing it? Is there some law that states that anything that happens outside the doors is for metro to take care of? If it is, then why isn't metro running these people off? Can it seriously be legal for anyone to just drop their wares on the sidewalk and ruin everyone's view of the Bellagio fountains?

Does this mean we'll get the "you'll go to hell" sign people full time now?

Tourist Tip #1

2010-06-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

(original blog post date April 26, 2008)
I think this might turn into a weekly thing, but it was brought to my attention that things need to be said to tourists before they leave for Las Vegas. If you live here, this is common knowledge, but you and I know that sometimes the tourists need some help.

Tourist Tip #1

If you are at a show, and something is keeping you from enjoying said show (i.e. another guest is bothering you, you are to close to the speakers, your view is being blocked by someone large, whatever) you need to get up immediately and speak to a supervisor or manager.

Why? Because they will always do their best to move you to another seat. But as soon as that show is over, it's over. You can complain all you like, but they can't do anything for you because you didn't come to them in time. The sooner you get up and talk to someone, the better.

And don't rely on them just throwing someone out who is bothering you. They have to see that the other person is being disruptive before they can take any action upon them. And 9 times out of 10 they will be complete angels by the time the management comes around. So just settle for being moved to another seat, and thank them for doing so.

Remember, they always want people to have a good time so that they will return. But don't limit their options for your happiness.

Molto Vegas!

2010-06-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

Ryan from Thifting Vegas mentioned to me that there was one more farmer's market I should try before giving up on all of them. It's sponsored by Mario Batali and Joseph Bastianich, so I knew it had to be of a slightly higher caliber. So yesterday we got up early...well, early for us...and headed over to Dean Martin and Molto Vegas!

After a bit of a dyslexic mix-up with the address, we found the warehouse and walked through into what felt like the crowds of a street market of European yore.

The produce looked amazing, and there was so much to choose from, it was very difficult to narrow everything down. There were even a few vegetables that I honestly didn't even recognize. They might have been fruits for all I knew!

We ended up getting a bunch of tomatoes, bell peppers, and squash. The heirloom tomatoes, as you can see from the picture above, were as ripe as they were ever going to get. We took them right home and cut them up, put some salt and oil on them, and had a feast. It was just like being at a Bradley Ogden or B & B Ristorante on the strip; it was the most fresh, amazing ingredients and it makes everything just amazing. It's like you eat these tomatoes and go straight to heaven.

We made the rest of the tomatoes and some of the bell peppers into amazing salsa, and plan to sauté the squash tomorrow. We also picked up some apple cider from the Gilcrease Orchard, my favorite. I wish I had millions of dollars just to spend on the Molto Vegas Farmer's Market.

Only tell your close friends so it's still exclusive, but it's every Thursday from 11AM-1PM, at 7485 Dean Martin Drive, #106.